


A Spark of Life (Ignites the Fire of Hell)

by Sandylee007



Series: A Spark of Life [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Loves Magnus Bane, Alpha Alec Lightwood, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Asmodeus Being an Asshole (Shadowhunter Chronicles), Drama, Family, Family Feels, Heartbreak, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Hurt Magnus Bane, Immortal Alec Lightwood, Love, M/M, Magnus Bane Loves Alec Lightwood, Mpreg, Omega Magnus Bane, Parents Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Pregnant Magnus Bane, Sacrifice, Self-Sacrifice, Sick Magnus Bane, True Love, True Mates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:00:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 54,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26938558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sandylee007/pseuds/Sandylee007
Summary: SEQUEL TO The Heat of the Moment (Lights Up a Spark of Life)Alec and Magnus enjoy married life, their precious little girl and a new pregnancy. Until Alec starts having awful nightmares of his worst fears being realized. How far will Alec go and how much will he sacrifice to keep them from coming true? And with a literal demon as his opponent, will anything be enough to save what he loves the most?A story of love, family and sacrifice.ESTIMATED AMOUNT OF CHAPTERS MAY CHANGE
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: A Spark of Life [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1965631
Comments: 396
Kudos: 232





	1. Saying Hello

**Author's Note:**

> Oh boy... It took me a tiny bit longer to prepare this sequel enough to start posting. But here we are! Yay?
> 
> DISCLAIMER: Pleeeeeeeeese...! As if. (pouts) Nope, I own nothing. And nope, no (material) profit is made of typing this.
> 
> Awkay, then... Are you guys ready? I REALLY hope that you’ll enjoy the ride.

Seeing their unborn child for the first time... It’s a beyond special occasion for any decent parent. Alec and Magnus held their breaths and each other’s hands while Mia moved a small device they knew well on the warlock’s stomach.

“Another baby on the way when Adi is less than two years old.” Mia smiled softly and shook her head. “You two definitely aren’t afraid of challenges.” She gave the parents a fond look. “I think you’ve got this, though. I wish every child was as loved as this little one already is.” Before the pair could respond she found what she and they all had been looking for. Everything else lost all meaning.

The tiny being on the screen didn’t exactly look like a human being yet. The baby was nonetheless already incredibly beautiful to the daddy and papa. Every rapid beat of that heart was precious.

Seeing their unborn child also made the whole thing feel real. The parents stared, their hold on each other’s hands tightening. They could’ve spent hours just watching and still craved for more.

The scan had to be wrapped up eventually, though. Having learned from a past mistake – and from having to endure a pouting, grumpy alpha – instead of wiping the gel off Magnus’ stomach Mia handed a few tissues to Alec. She had to bite her lip to not laugh or sigh adoringly at how eagerly and dutifully the daddy-to-be got to work. Hands that’d been trained to kill since Alec was a child caressed his beloved tenderly along the way. “Have you told Adi that she’s going to be a big sister yet?” Mia inquired.

The duo shook their heads. “We want to wait until the second trimester, just in case.” Joy still twinkled in Alec’s eyes but there was also something else in them. The same thing that was evident in the way he had a protective arm wrapped around Magnus in a shielding manner as they entered the room. And in the way neither man could breathe until they saw with their own eyes that their child was alive, safe and sound inside the omega. “So... Everything’s alright?”

Magnus rolled his eyes at Alec’s need for reassurance but the way he clutched at his husband’s hand and kissed the other’s fingers revealed the truth. Mia understood all too well. The couple knew what it was like when that spark of life went out. They were supposed to have two toddlers instead of one already, after all. She didn’t want to even imagine what’d happen if they lost another spark. “Everything’s alright”, she affirmed and decided to lighten the mood. “You want to sell the idea of a sibling to Adi, when the time is right to share the news? Throw a huge party in honor of the baby. Cake and balloons worked with my oldest.”

“And glitter. We’ll need a lot of glitter.” Magnus grimaced. Or tried to, but it came out more like a proud grin. “She’s... having a phase.”

“I don’t mind this particular phase”, Alec declared. (Of course he didn’t. Because it made his precious daughter even more like Magnus.)

“You’re adorable for saying that with some pink glitter still in your hair”, Magnus mused fondly and some of the mentioned substance floated to the floor when he caressed the other’s hair.

“Oh.” Alec tousled his own hair, making it stick wildly to all imaginable directions. “So that’s why Underhill stared at me like that. You didn’t have to growl at him, though.”

The flash in Magnus’ eyes, which Alec didn’t notice, suggested that there was another reason, too. (One the omega didn’t like at all and the alpha was completely oblivious to.) “Yes, I absolutely had to.” Suddenly blanching, the warlock began to haul himself to his feet. “If... you’ll excuse me...” He made an impressive sprint to the toilet connected to the private infirmary room. Alec and Mia grimaced at the sounds of throwing up they soon heard.

A deep frown appeared to Alec’s face. One of the Shadowhunter’s feet tapped impatiently from need to go after his mate. “The morning sickness is still a problem. He’s tried at least five different potions but none of them helps.”

Mia winced. “Hopefully it’ll end once the second trimester starts.” She looked at the young man beside her and remembered the person he was when she met him for the first time. He was so much more at peace with himself now. The path to this point was rough but he’d grown to be a wonderful mate and daddy. “Just so you know... Even if you may feel frustrated and helpless, you’re doing a great job.”

Alec seemed surprised and his cheeks gained a hint of color. (It occurred to her that he wasn’t used to compliments.) “I hope so.” He shifted, his gaze straying towards the toilet Magnus headed to. “This... is going to sound stupid, but... I’m not used to things...” One of his hands moved animatedly in a manner he’d definitely learned from his husband. “... being good and peaceful, like this. I can’t stop dreading that something bad is coming.”

Before Mia could decide what to say to that Magnus reappeared. The warlock scowled and magicked a bottle of water before Alec could protest, then gulped down a generous amount. “Well, now that that fun is over with... Let’s go and rescue our daughter. Or Jace. He just sent a message that said ‘ _THE BUTTERFLIES ARE EVERYWHERE_ ’.”

/

Well, Jace’s message was accurate. The first thing Alec and Magnus saw upon entering Jace’s room was a butterfly. Then another. And another. More of them than they could accurately count. Most of them seemed to be centered around a bed in the middle of which sat a deeply unnerved looking Jace, holding onto Adira as though trying to shield her from a great threat. The child, on the other hand, clapped and squealed excitedly, admiring the animals that shone in all imaginable colors.

Alec stared at the chaos. And tried very hard to not laugh at his parabatai’s distress. “Are you alright?”

“Adi’s okay.” Jace’s voice sounded strange from how he wasn’t breathing properly. The blond glared at the butterflies with great mistrust. “She just... waved her hands and those things exploded from thin air.”

“Oh, we can see that she’s alright.” Magnus didn’t even try to disguise his mirth. “He was asking if you are.” The warlock then focused on their daughter. “Now what’s all this? Did you learn a new magic trick?”

Adira smiled radiantly and clapped her hands together. One of the butterflies sat on the tip of her nose. “Magic trick!” she giggled triumphantly, startling the animal to its wings. She pouted and tried to reach out for it until Magnus picked her up.

“Don’t touch it, sweetheart”, Magnus instructed her. “Do you see those pretty wings? They’re very fragile.”

Adira nodded, as though understanding something so complicated. There was nothing but contentment on her face while she leaned her head against her papa’s chest and the two admired the butterflies together. Somehow, impossibly, Alec loved them both a tiny bit more.

“Great, that’s cute.” Jace swallowed convulsively, his restless gaze following the creatures spinning around him. “Can’t you... just do something? To get rid of them?”

Alec and Magnus both rolled their eyes. (Which Adira copied without them noticing.) The omega spoke up first. “I think you’re officially one of her favorites.” The man kissed the child’s hair, making her purr happily. “She only shows off new magic tricks in front of selected few.”

“Wait a second.” Suddenly Alec realized what the problem was and could barely believe it. “Ducks and butterflies. Seriously?”

Jace glared at him and lifted a middle finger.

“Don’t you dare...!” Magnus’ warning, or perhaps an intended threat, came too late. As of that day Adira knew how to give the finger.

And Jace? He had pink hair for the next twenty-four hours. Magnus claimed that Adira did it. Like Jace, Alec wasn’t convinced of the alleged culprit. He barely managed to contain his amusement upon shrugging at Jace’s indignation. “You just taught a warlock’s child a very offensive, grownup gesture. What did you expect would happen? Be glad you weren’t turned into a toad or something.”

“Traitor”, Jace muttered with a pout. Then arched an eyebrow. “Where were you two, anyway, to need a babysitter? You look like cats that got the cream.” He grimaced when a thought occurred to him. “Of course, you were scre...”

“Jace.” Alec’s tone held a warning. “You already got your hair turned pink. Do you really want to find out what happens if you teach Adi to say what you were about to? So she’d repeat it _everywhere_?”

Jace chose, quite wisely, to shut up.

Adira didn’t intend to stay silent. “Traitor”, she chirped, loud and clear. Visibly proud of herself for learning another difficult word.

/

Three days later Alec and Magnus planned to have a romantic evening. Which was a challenge with a small child in the loft. While Alec put Adira to bed Magnus magicked the bedroom full of candles and himself to the kind of a silk dressing gown he knew drove his husband wild. After considering it for a moment he added a touch of golden glitter to his eyelids to seal the appeal. Then he settled to their bed to wait. Which turned out to be a mistake.

That day he’d had two taxing meetings and he ended up helping three frustratingly ungrateful Shadowhunters. (Alec wasn’t a fan of that but it was a part of Magnus’ campaign to prove to his beloved’s kind that he and his people were allies.) Nausea had also plagued him since he woke up and didn’t start to settle until roughly an hour earlier. He was exhausted.

Magnus woke up to a kiss on his cheek and winced apologetically. It took some time before he managed to convince his eyes halfway open. “I’m sorry”, he murmured around a yawn. “This isn’t exactly the... steamy evening I promised.”

Alec shrugged. “So what?” Two large, protective hands slid under the dressing gown and caressed his stomach. (Mercifully the deed didn’t trigger a fresh bout of nausea, which would’ve certainly ruined the mood.) “Do you honestly think I mind when you’re tired because you’re carrying my child inside you? Besides...” The younger man winked. “We have the rest of our really, really long lives to have all the steamy evenings we want, remember?”

Magnus told himself that it was the wink that did the trick because it would’ve been too embarrassing to admit, even to himself, what a mess his hormones were. Swiftly enough to surprise even himself he’d flipped them around so that he was grouching above Alec. One leg on each side of his alpha. The other’s wide blown pupils made him grow hard in a matter of seconds. “Good thing I’m not tired anymore. Because I want a steamy night right now.”

/

Alec had always been a skeptic who didn’t trust it when things seemed too good to be true. With Magnus, their little girl and their unborn miracle... Well, things were off-the-charts too good to be true.

That night the nightmares began.

In Edom Asmodeus smirked icily, his eyes closed.

Lilith huffed. “Really, Asmodeus? Why do you bother with these ridiculous games?”

“Patience, my dear, is a virtue you haven’t been granted.” Asmodeus’ eyes opened slowly. “Haven’t you heard the saying ‘Good things come to those who wait’?”

Lilith didn’t appear impressed. She seemed to fight the urge to roll her eyes. “And how do you plan to finish your game, stuck down here?”

“Simple.” His eyes flashed golden. “I don’t plan to be stuck for much longer.” He had a son to educate on what happens to someone who banishes their own father to hell. And he wouldn’t be at it alone. “If you must know, I’ve enlisted a little help.”

/

Victor Aldertree was once a man who expected great many things of his future. And he almost had it all. Almost. Until Lightwood and Bane destroyed his life.

He was locked up for four awfully long months, until he learned to be a good enough actor to trick Inquisitor Herondale into believing that he’d changed his ways. He was even a skilled enough manipulator to talk her out of deruning him. But she did send him to a small and desolate corner of the world for ‘character building’. And he did build his character. With every passing day, while swearing to obey the upgraded Accords and lying through his teeth how he believed in equality, he reminded himself. Of the two men who cost him everything. Of why he had to go through this humiliation, so he’d be able to do what his heart – carved cold and hollow by captivity and exile – truly desired. Months passed by, and he managed to trick Herondale into signing a document that allowed him to return to the New York Institute. Under supervision and on probation, which was a hindrance but wouldn’t stop him.

Especially because fate chose to grant him an unexpected ally.

While Alec started frowning and groaning in the grips of the first of great many nightmares Aldertree was packing up for returning to New York. He frowned at a knock on the door of his tiny and rotten, reeking apartment. Who even knew that he was there? He opened with some reservations and tensed up upon facing the arrival.

She was a strikingly beautiful, young woman of Asian heritage. He wondered why she appeared distinctly familiar. Until she revealed a pair of cat eyes and he knew.

“Give me one good reason...!” he spat but was interrupted.

“Because we want the same people to suffer.” Unlike Magnus she had a clearly audible British accent. “I have the kind of means to make that happen. And unlike me you can go to New York and the Institute without setting off great many alarms.” She tilted her head. “Do you want Magnus and Alec to suffer the pains of hell? Together we can make that happen.”

Aldertree moved out of the way to let her in.


	2. Nightmares, Kisses and a Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec and Magnus are both having it a little rough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s SO LATE. But I REALLY want to give you this chapter today, so... Ta-da!
> 
> THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart, for your comments, love and support! It makes me so happy that you’ve all joined this ride. (HUGS)
> 
> Awkay, then. Let’s go! I REALLY hope that you’ll enjoy the ride.

The music was soft and soothing. Almost like a lullaby. In the light of candles and nothing else two bodies swayed smoothly to the melody.

With his eyes closed Alec smiled. How could he not, with what he had in his arms? “I’m getting a hang of this, right?”

“You certainly are.” Magnus kissed his cheek. “I’ve said it before, and I must say it again. You continue to surprise me.”

Alec’s heart fluttered from joy and pride. Being able to surprise someone centuries old, who’d seen countless of wondrous things... It was an accomplishment. “In good ways, I hope?” Unlike at the beginning of their relationship he didn’t ask due to insecurities. He asked because who wouldn’t like hearing how valued they were from time to time?

Magnus was going to answer him. Instead of words a gasp came out. It wheezed and the bump containing their child grew hard between them.

Alec froze, his hold on his mate tightening. “Magnus? Are you okay?”

Magnus couldn’t talk because that one gasp transformed to a storm of coughs. Urgently but not with hostility the warlock put some distance between them and fought visibly to breathe. None of it helped. Magnus coughed, wheezed and coughed some more. Alec’s chest constricted when he realized that his husband was coughing up blood.

“Magnus!” Alec screamed, his concern from before transforming to sheer terror.

All of a sudden Magnus began to slump down and Alec was barely fast enough to catch him. The omega mumbled something incomprehensible seconds before his body started to convulse uncontrollably. Alec had no idea which one of them was shaking worse as he guided his beloved’s body to the floor. Such a trivial detail didn’t matter. Because a couple of endless minutes later Magnus’ movements stopped. Heartbeat and breathing included.

Alec wanted to scream for help but there was no one to listen. They were home, Adira was at his mom’s because they were supposed to have some quality adult time. In a moment of sheer despair he sent a fire message to Catarina before launching his desperate attempts to restart Magnus’ heart. The alpha’s strong but at the moment infuriatingly useless hands pumped and pumped. Nothing happened.

No matter how hard he begged Magnus to stay with him that man’s heart didn’t start again.

Alec didn’t wake up screaming. He woke up because he couldn’t breathe. Gasping frantically the Shadowhunter bolted to a sitting position, his wild eyes darting around a familiar dark room. It took almost a full torturous minute before facts began to sink in.

What he just saw... It was a nightmare, nothing more. He was in his own bed, in his and Magnus’ bed. And his mate...

Still frantic, Alec turned his gaze. Magnus was frowning but still asleep, safe and alive right beside him. The alpha’s hand was embarrassingly unsteady while he lay it against the other’s still flat stomach. He couldn’t detect movement, of course, but just sensing the life inside helped ease his mind.

He still had his family. He hadn’t lost them to something he couldn’t understand. The emotional overload from that realization brought tears to his eyes.

He should’ve known that his emotional turmoil wouldn’t go undetected. “... ‘lexander?” Magnus mumbled, a pair of cat eyes cracking open. The man’s brows furrowed. “... ‘s wrong? You’re shaking, and scared.” His distress definitely echoed through their bond.

Alec shook his head and kissed his husband’s forehead. “Everything’s okay. I just had a stupid nightmare.” He swallowed thickly, only then becoming aware of the lump in his throat. He couldn’t wake up his pregnant omega with starting to cry in the middle of the night! “Let me just... just breathe, for a second. I’m okay.” He would be, now, with his world alive and well in his arms.

Magnus was, apparently, determined to do better than that. The omega was far too tired for questions and honestly, Alec wouldn’t have been able to answer without falling apart. With utmost love and gentleness Magnus tugged him back down to lay beside him. Alec went willingly and took his first easy breath since the nightmare when the man he loved snuggled as close as possible before going back to sleep. Careful to not disturb his pregnant mate’s much needed rest, the alpha placed his hand above the spot where Magnus’ heart was beating. Strong and steady. That beat of life lulled Alec to a dreamless slumber.

/

In the meantime the woman who talked to Aldertree stood in front of a mirror. She waved a hand and before long Asmodeus’ face appeared. “He agreed to help.”

Asmodeus nodded approvingly. “Good. Make sure that he does his part and do yours.” A pair of cat eyes flashed. “Show me that I have at least one offspring I can be proud of.”

She bowed. “I want to teach Magnus a lesson as much as you do.” She wanted to kill him, slowly and painfully. But all in a good time, first she’d make him suffer. “He’ll pay for what he did to me.” She went on at Asmodeus' arched eyebrow. “And for the way he continues to disrespect you.”

Once their connection broke Asmodeus heard Lilith scoff. “You and your parenting skills... And I’ve been called heartless.”

Asmodeus rolled his eyes in a manner identical to his son’s. “Any decent parent teaches their children a lesson when necessary. To ensure that they know their place.” He inspected his fingernails. “Even if it’s the death of them.”

/

Alec woke up with an aching head. Which wasn’t a surprise, considering the previous night’s emotional turmoil. It was still annoying, and he buried his face to a pillow with a groan. Maybe he could avoid the rest of the world for five more minutes. Or hours.

Luck wasn’t on his side, because at that very moment an alarm announced that it was time to start a new day.

Fortunately someone was there to make the morning better for him. Magnus’ soft lips pressed a tender kiss on his cheek and Adi’s happy chirp almost made him start purring. “Daddy!”

Alec cracked one eye open to see his family. Adira beamed back and smacked her small hand against his nose as a sign of affection. Magnus chuckled at her antics, appearing soft and happy with his hair tousled, face free of makeup and whole being radiating the glow of a pregnancy. How was Alec supposed to not smile? “Morning”, he mumbled.

“Good morning.” Magnus tilted his head and Adira, who watched attentively, mimicked the gesture. “You had a rough night.”

Alec’s mood dimmed slightly. So they’d have to talk about it... “It was just a nightmare”, he assured, wondering if he sounded any more convincing to Magnus than to himself. “I just... have to start a new day, so I’ll get it out of my system.”

“Hmm.” Magnus clearly wasn’t impressed. The warlock looked at their daughter. “Do you know what daddy needs? A special family hug.”

“Hug!” Adira cheered, her eyes shining.

Alec definitely had nothing against that idea. The three of them clung to each other, so fiercely that their scents mixed. Alec’s shoulders relaxed while the nightmare lost the last of its impact on him.

“Oh, and Alexander? You may want to send Jace a message. Apparently he sensed you last night and has been trying to contact you. This morning he sent me a fire message basically asking if we’re all still alive.”

Alec did just that, to discover that he had five unanswered calls and twice as many messages he’d been too overwhelmed to notice earlier. After that he rinsed his face with cold water to rid all bad memories and joined his family for a breakfast. Adira had decided that she liked the berries in her porridge and attempted to magic more of them. As a result she, Magnus and the kitchen table were covered in squashed and whole berries. The papa and daughter appeared so happy that it tugged at Alec’s heart.

The night before was absolutely horrible. But this morning... It was perfection, despite the mess. He kissed Magnus languidly and lay a hand against his beloved’s stomach during it, hoping that their unborn little one also felt him and his love.

“I take it you’re feeling better”, Magnus murmured against his lips.

“Much”, Alec sighed honestly, breathing in the other’s scent. Then went on hopefully. “And... I’d feel even better after black coffee.”

Magnus clicked his tongue in disapproval. “You Shadowhunters have no tastebuds. But...” The warlock waved his hand theatrically. “Your wish is my command.”

While Magnus got to work Adira demanded to be given her share of attention. As soon as Alec leaned closer she grabbed his head with berry coated hands in an attempt to embrace him and kissed his cheek loudly. Alec couldn’t bring himself to care about the mess she made of his face.

In the end Magnus magicked far more than just black coffee for him. A plate containing sandwiches, muffins and fruits was pushed his way. (Apparently Magnus’ nesting instinct were kicking in.) Another plate appeared, carrying a small mountain of honey melon slices. The man shrugged at his amusement. “What? The baby wants what the baby wants.”

/

Jace was comforted by the knowledge that his parabatai was alright. But something was definitely left bothering Alec. The busy day his brother had didn’t help.

Eventually they resorted to the, excluding making out with their partners, best method of stress relief they knew – sparring.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

Well, Jace didn’t have to play wanting to smack his brother. “Fine. But I can tell how badly this nightmare you don’t want to talk about rattled you.” He frowned. “You haven’t been this wired up since...” His eyes widened while a realization dawned. “No way...! Is Magnus...?” Ah, no wonder there was that special twinkle in the alpha’s eyes. How in the world didn’t he catch on sooner?

Alec made a quick hand gesture for him to shut up. Like there would’ve been anyone present to hear. “ _No one_ is supposed to know yet, it’s still really early. But... Yeah, he is. And I’m...” Alec trailed off.

“... going out of your mind?” Jace’s eyes softened while they stopped exchanging kicks and punches. “It’s pretty normal, or so I’ve heard.” He dreaded to imagine how bad he’d be if he and Clary would be blessed with their own little miracle one day. “But don’t let that fear keep you from enjoying this pregnancy. Nothing’s going to happen to Magnus or the baby, I promise. Or uncle Jace will raise hell.”

Alec smiled at that and Jace considered it a win.

“Oh, and Alec?” Jace gave his brother a warm hug and a pat on the back. “Congratulations.” He meant it, from the bottom of his heart. “Although, a newborn and a toddler hitting her terrible twos in the same household?”

“You know me, I’ve never been a fan of having it easy.”

/

A couple of days later Alec returned to an eerily quiet home. “Magnus? Adi?” His blood grew several degrees colder when no one answered him. “Are you... guys here?”

“ _Bathroom_ ”, Magnus called out, sounding miserable.

Tensing up even further, Alec headed to the mentioned room. To find Magnus lay on the bathroom floor, with a deeply worried looking Adira sitting beside him. Chairman also sat nearby. The cat greeted him with a distressed meow.

“It ambushed me ten minutes ago.” At least some color seemed to be slowly returning to Magnus’ face. “I was about to call you.”

Alec’s brows furrowed. He hated not knowing what to do. “Do you still need to...?” He nodded towards the toilet.

Magnus shook his head. “Best not aggravate it, though.” The man’s attention shifted to Adira. “Don’t look so worried, sweetheart. I’m alright.”

Adira bit her lip. She didn’t appear convinced. “Papa sick.”

“No, not sick.” Alec exchanged a look with Magnus. They’d agreed to not tell Adira just yet but if the revelation would calm her down... “Papa is feeling sick because he has a baby in his belly.” He knew that she understood the word ‘baby’ but would she be able to make the connection? “You’ll be a big sister.”

“That’s right”, Magnus affirmed. “You’ll have a brother or a sister. Just like daddy has Jace, Izzy and Max.”

They waited with some nervousness while Adira stared at Magnus’ stomach in marvel. How would she take the news? Would she approve of a sibling? Did she even figure out what they tried to say? In the end she pressed a hand against her papa’s stomach. “Baby.”

“Yeah.” Alec sounded strangely hoarse even to his own ears. Was he holding his breath? “The baby is right there.”

Adira contemplated for a few more moments. Then leaned down and pressed a kiss on what wasn’t a bump yet. “Hi baby.” And so a very eager, perhaps too eager, big sister was born.

/

A week and a half passed by. Magnus’ round-the-clock morning sickness persisted but there were no worrying symptoms to accompany it. Alec didn’t have any more nightmares. As the pregnancy advanced the pair found themselves easing into it. Perhaps nothing awful would befall them, after all.

Magnus knew that he was supposed to be taking it easy. But the job-description of a High Warlock isn’t exactly the kind that allows one to relax. That day he had three wards to repair, a demon to handle after a young warlock unwittingly summoned it and he took care of five consultations. So when he experienced something strange, very briefly, he blamed it on stress and overexertion.

Magnus was trying to convince his upset stomach into handling a sandwich he was supposed to consume hours ago when he more sensed than felt it. The tiniest flutter at the back of his mind, much like his magic trying to warn him of something. He frowned and attempted to grasp whatever it was but it was already gone. Just a trick of his imagination.

A sudden voice cut whatever bizarre musings he might’ve had. “Papa!” Adira waddled towards him, arms wide open and smiling like the sun.

Magnus chuckled and caught her. “Papa’s favorite visitor of the day!” He kissed the top of her head. “Did you have fun with aunt Catarina and Madzie?”

“Oh, she did. And aunt Catarina needs a long nap.” Catarina clearly didn’t actually mind, though. His friend greeted him with a grin. “Are you ready for the big reveal?”

Magnus snapped his fingers, making a small amount of golden glitter burst out, which thrilled Adira. “Have you met me? I was born ready for a party.”

“Party!” Adira squealed back.

A couple of hours later a familiar gang started to gather to the Lightwood-Bane loft for what they imagined was just a dinner. Izzy and Simon, who seemed to grow closer with each passing day, arrived first. Maryse and Luke walked in soon, followed by Robert and Max. Jace and Clary came late. Seeing the state of their clothes and hair, no one wanted to ask what delayed them. Ragnor and Raphael pretended to hate it all but Magnus knew them well enough to see through the act.

They settled around a table Magnus had magicked to be three times its usual size. Adira was already there in her sitter, wearing a proud smile and a shirt with very telling text on it. Several pairs of eyes widened upon reading it.

‘ _WORLD’S GREATEST BIG SISTER_ ’

“Surprise!” the parents-to-be exclaimed, soon chorused by Adira.

What ensued was a parade of hugs and congratulations. Most of the others knew better than to approach Magnus too fast. Simon, to his misfortune, was a little too eager and lunged closer, his hand pressing against the omega’s stomach that hadn’t even swollen yet. Alec’s growl of warning was overshadowed by another reaction.

Adira growled as well. Was she pouting or attempting to appear fierce? “No hurt baby!” she commanded.

Simon’s eyes grew huge, adding to the moment’s comedic value. He raised his hands in a pacifying manner. “Hey, no! I wasn’t...!”

“Adira, don’t growl at him.” Magnus did his best to contain his mirth. “Simon isn’t hurting the baby, he’s just excited.”

Adira considered that and Magnus wondered if she actually understood something so complicated properly. She then focused on Simon and outstretched her arms, inviting the vampire to pick her up and hug her. Peace was restored. The rest of the evening went quickly with good company and as good food, the apartment full of love and a joyous festive spirit.

Not only once Magnus had proclaimed that even he couldn’t see the future – and it was truly a blessing.

That night Alec had another nightmare.

/

In the meantime someone who hadn’t set foot in New York for a very long time approached the Institute. He stopped a few steps away from the building, still amazed that he was actually doing this. People can stoop so very low just to get revenge...

Victor Aldertree huffed. The expression that appeared to his face was half grin, half scowl. “Home sweet home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not expect a ‘welcome home’ parade from us, Aldertree... (gags) Poor Alec, those nightmares are HORRIBLE! And poor Magnus, too. Let’s hope that the nausea is over soon. But aaaw, now everyone important knows!
> 
> Soooo... Thoughts? Comments? PLEASE, do let me hear from you! Comments always brighten my days.
> 
> Until next time! I REALLY hope that I’ll see you all there.
> 
> Take care!


	3. Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nightmares continue to keep Alec emotionally on the edge. Especially after Aldertree’s unwanted return. His family manages to calm him down. But how long will the peace last?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess what? It’s time to update again. (grins) Yay?
> 
> Thank you SO MUCH for your comments, love and support! They mean more to me than you’ll ever know. (HUGS) I really hope that you’ll all stick around for the rest of the ride.
> 
> Awkay, then. Are you ready? Because here we go. For better or for worse...

That morning Alec was already in, as Magnus put it, ‘one of his lemon moods’ due to the nightmare he had. It was a good thing that Izzy sent the archer a warning before he would’ve headed to the Institute and seen Aldertree himself. Which didn’t make him any happier about the situation. Entering the building, he was still seething. Seeing Aldertree and Izzy outside his office, and especially the tightness of his sister’s facial muscles, didn’t help him feel any better.

Izzy was quick to show him an official looking document. “Apparently Inquisitor Herondale sent him back here.” Without bothering to warn them or consult them to find out their opinion over the matter.

Alec saw red while closing a stone-hard hand around the piece of paper that couldn’t be wiped from existence.

“I asked to be placed here so I’d have a chance to atone for my past. To prove how much I've changed.” Aldertree’s facial expression was almost genuinely apologetic. Almost. “I made many regrettable mistakes but my view of the world has changed dramatically. I’m aware that it’ll take time, but... Hopefully I can earn back the trust of you and everyone else here.”

Alec didn’t believe the man, at all. But he also didn’t have enough evidence to go against the Inquisitor’s direct orders or to justify punching the other in the face repeatedly. He lifted his chin, his gaze communicating that he wasn’t fooled so easily. “You’ll face a three-month probational period. Over that time you’ll receive a lot of training and if you’re deemed ready for field work you won’t take even a single mission alone. And I will choose the one responsible for... looking after you. Do you agree on these terms?”

For just a second something dark flashed in Aldertree’s eyes but it was gone before Alec could determine whether he imagined it. The man nodded almost meekly. “Yes, of course. That sounds only fair.”

And so Andrew Underhill became Aldertree’s babysitter – or parole officer, as the man himself preferred to be called.

/

When you’ve been someone’s best friend for centuries you learn to read that person. The moment he met Magnus that day Ragnor could tell that something was off. Fortunately it didn’t take long before the predictable and infuriating ‘I’m fine’ transformed to an honest explanation.

“Alec keeps having these nightmares and refuses to talk to me about them. I can tell that they’re getting to him because he’s on the edge and overprotective.” Magnus went on at his arched eyebrow. “More overprotective than usual.”

Ragnor sighed, taking a sip of his tea. “Considering everything that happened during your previous pregnancy, I’m not surprised.” He tried to be subtle with the glance he directed at his friend. “And how have you been doing?”

Magnus groaned. “I swear, if people don’t stop fussing around me soon...” The man sighed a deep breath. “Some of the morning sickness still remains but I’m fine. Mia can confirm that I’m healthy. Now can we please focus on Alec for a moment?”

Ragnor bit back a fond smile. He wondered if Magnus had noticed that Alec wasn’t the only one getting overprotective. He supposed he’d have to start bracing himself for constantly intensifying pregnancy hormones. “I’m afraid there isn’t much you can do to keep Alec from worrying and fussing. Just try to reassure him by being there. And if his level of care gets too much, send me a message before transforming him to something unpleasant. I’ll remind you that it’s a bad idea.”

As bad as that joke might’ve been it coaxed a smile out of Magnus, before the man rushed to the toilet to throw up.

/

That day paperwork took hours longer than Alec would’ve liked. He was in a horrible mood due to sleepless nights and Aldertree’s return, and all he wanted to do was go home. What he found upon returning to the loft made up for all the day’s discomfort. His facial muscles relaxed and a spark lit up to his eyes as he peered to Adira’s nursery.

Magnus was telling their daughter a bedtime story. Such that sounded... curiously familiar. “... the magician used his powers to subdue the evil attacker, then turned around. And there he was.” Adira breathed hard from excitement before her papa went on, releasing the tension. “The most beautiful person the magician had ever seen. A true knight, with his bow ready. He’d come to save the magician again.”

Adira sighed happily and purred.

A smile formed to Alec’s face. “I do believe that the magician saved himself this time. And I have a feeling that the knight enjoyed watching it.” His eyebrow bounced up. “Do we have to talk about child friendly bedtime stories again?”

Magnus rolled his eyes, which Adira was quick to repeat. (Alec dreaded to imagine what their girl would be like as a teenager if she’d inherited her papa’s sass.) “Compared to the stories uncle Jace subjects her to, that was nothing.”

The couple greeted each other with a kiss and Adira welcomed him home with a beyond happy ‘Daddy!’. After thinking about it for a moment Alec chose to give his own input to the little tale. “And do you know what happened to the knight when he saw the magician? He couldn’t breathe at all. Because he’d never seen anything so beautiful and magical in his life.” He gave Magnus a look. “He didn’t know what it was then, because he’d never been taught about such a thing. But it was at that moment he started to fall in love.”

Adira smiled. Then yawned and closed her eyes. She fell asleep to the comfort of having both her parents near.

They tucked her in properly together, in a comfortable silence. After that no words were needed to express what they wanted to say to each other. (‘ _Are you alright?_ ’ ‘ _Better, now._ ’ ‘ _I worry about you constantly._ ’ ‘ _Let me look after you._ ’)

Alec picked Magnus up and the omega wrapped a pair of legs around him, trusting himself to be carried. That was how they made their way to the bedroom and to bed, tangled together and kissing. Safe and sound in each other’s arms. And when Alec closed his eyes the sweet evening was enough to chase away the ghosts of bad dreams.

/

Time passed by, as it inevitably does. Before they knew it Magnus was seventeen weeks pregnant. Alec didn’t have new worst kind of nightmares and he almost dared to breathe a sigh of relief. Maybe the disaster he’d been bracing himself for wouldn’t befall them, after all.

Maryse knew that they were both tired and tense. In need of a night off. Perhaps she also wanted to spend some time with Adira. So she offered to babysit to let them just relax and concentrate on each other.

Enjoy each other they did. For many hours. Their bodies moved as though they were one and their breaths mingled while they were both pushed towards ecstasy. And their scents... They danced together just like their bodies did, in absolute harmony. It was pure perfection. Alec’s enjoyment became released as he gazed into Magnus’ cat eyes, silently (or not so silently) thanking whatever power it was that brought them together.

Thirty minutes later they were both purring, wrapped up in each other’s arms. Magnus smirked smugly while an inquisitive, greedy hand brushed at the most private parts of the alpha. “Oh mine. Is someone ready for round three already?”

Alec snorted. “You know that I can never get enough of you.” He kissed the other’s hair, which was a mess for all the best reasons. “I should let you sleep.”

Magnus’ pursed lips and seductive batting of eyelashes together were a force of nature. The hand appreciating his crotch pressed a little tighter, then teased once more. “I’d much rather continue to make the most of this lovely evening. Besides, our little one is wide awake to ensure that sleeping isn’t an option just yet.”

There was actually a force in the world powerful enough to distract Alec, at least partially, from how good Magnus’ touch felt. “Really?” He placed a hand against the small swell that gave away the secret growing within. His eyes widened.

Those tiny, barely there thuds...

“You can feel them, too?” Magnus sounded every little bit as happy as he felt. Joy and contentment bubbled in their hearts while the other kissed him. “Someone could sense how happy daddy is and wanted to say ‘Hi’.”

Alec smiled. Then sighed, his hand never moving away from the other’s belly. “I’m sorry that I’ve been so...” He didn’t know what words to use.

Magnus caressed his hair and face this time. “This... has been a trying pregnancy. I’d lie claiming that I’ve enjoyed every moment of it. But when we have our miracle in our arms... It’ll all be worth it.” They rested their foreheads together. “We won’t be taken away from you, I promise. So no more bad dreams.”

Alec fell asleep trying to believe in those words.

Unfortunately only hours later a new nightmare ambushed Alec. And this one... Could it possibly be worse than those before?

In the dark, on a cold stone floor, Magnus lay alone, panting and shaking. So pale that it was absolutely terrifying. The man’s feeble, barely audible cries tore at Alec's heart. “... ‘lec!”

Magnus was in pain, suffering or worse. And Alec couldn’t even get to him. Because there was an invisible wall between them. Alec banged at it so hard that his fists hurt but his mate didn’t hear him. “Magnus, I’m here!” Tears of helpless fury filled his eyes while he punched the wall twice more. “Magnus...!”

On the other side Magnus squeezed his eyes tightly shut and whimpered from agony. “... ‘lec, please ...” A few tears escaped. “... ‘elp us ...”

Alec didn’t realize what was going on until the baby slid into the world. Achingly beautiful, as pale as the papa and silent. Magnus became equally still and quiet, tears drying on his cheeks and a hand open, waiting for someone to take it. Alec had seen enough death to recognize it immediately and slid to his knees with a soundless scream of such pain that couldn’t be described with words. His very soul was torn in such a way that he was sure nothing would remain. His useless hand remained pressed against the invisible wall while on the other side his world was ripped away from him.

The unfamiliar male voice would’ve startled Alec if he had anything to fear. “I can stop this.” (He tried to look, as much as his tear-blurred eyes could see, but no one was visible in the dark with him. Only death.) “When your world is being stolen from you... Summon me. Only I can save them.”

And then it was over. Alec’s eyes flew open, to find darkness that was exactly like in his nightmare. Somewhere nearby Magnus whimpered. Only this time there was nothing separating them. With another sound of distress Magnus cuddled closer to him and Alec pulled him closer still, needing every little bit of physical contact he could get. His trembling hand went to his husband’s stomach, where their unborn little one was moving. Even the feel of those kicks didn’t manage to soothe him to sleep. The eventually dawning following morning’s light was bleak, like a warning. The words from the dream kept haunting him as he lay absolutely still, a soldier in wait for a battle.

/ _“Only I can save them.”_ /

/

Aldertree was once the Head of the Institute for a moment. He knew how the building and the complicated rules inside it worked. He’d known to expect the restrictions that’d been placed upon him so far. What the people working in the building didn’t know was how far he’d stretched his web of... associates while he was away. And he had the patience to wait for the right moment. The ankle monitor placed on him to track his movements was only a small hindrance.

Valentine was gone but the man’s legacy wasn’t. There were still plenty of Shadowhunters, all over the world, who weren’t happy with Lightwood’s work. Aldertree had a surprising amount of eyes and ears aiding him. Including a young computer expert who had her sister killed by a rogue warlock over ten years earlier. Since the age of nine she’d lied so convincingly that she harbored no hard feelings towards the Downworld that even Aldertree was hesitant to approach her via internet. Fortunately she proved to be his second most valuable asset. While she worked an evening shift, thus ensuring that his deeds wouldn’t be caught by security cameras, alarm systems or people, he sneaked out through a window.

With a hood concealing his entire head he made his way through the rainy city, towards a small herbal shop and the tiny apartment located upstairs from it. With motions that could be called gentle he lay down a package and a note he obtained from the mysterious warlock he allied with before they went their separate ways. He knocked hard enough to ensure that those inside heard before pouring a small amount of blue substance on the note. He’d been told that he had only five minutes before the liquid would destroy the note. The woman he was waiting for had better come quickly. With that thought he disappeared to the shadows but didn’t leave, needing to see how the whole thing would play out.

After about a minute a seemingly harmless, petite woman whose long hair was once fire red, now mostly gray, peered out. She frowned at the package and message. Her face, which carried lines of worry and laughter, blanched at the words.

‘ _I know what your husband did during the war and I have evidence. Such I’ve been kind enough to keep to myself so far but now my continued kindness has a price. How long do you reckon Cillian would survive in prison? Unless you want him to be arrested by the Clave give this package to Catarina Loss tomorrow. If anyone finds out about this I’ll go through with my threat._ ’

The woman clutched at her chest in horror. By then a man who no longer had either of his eyes came to her, asking something. Aldertree didn’t need to stick around for more. The way the warlock woman squeezed her husband’s hand told him that she’d do what he told her to.

/

Catarina had lived in New York for a very long time. For the past hundred years or so she’d always visited the same warlock to get whatever she needed for potions and whenever she wanted to make a special tea mixture. The evening following Aldertree’s indirect visit to the shop she was drained from a double shift and Madzie’s magic having acted up the night before. That’s why she didn’t notice that something was off with the woman she considered her friend, Saoirse.

“For morning sickness?”

Catarina chuckled and shook her head. “Not for me, obviously. A friend is having a rough second trimester.” Which, sadly, was an understatement. “Nothing my or my friend’s skills are good enough for has given any relief.”

“Hopefully that does.” Saoirse spoke up when she was almost out of the shop. “Catarina...” The woman then trailed off.

Catarina looked over her should and frowned. “Are you... alright?” The other woman appeared almost terrified.

Just as quickly as it appeared that facial expression transformed to a smile. “Of course. I’m just tired. Cillian was in pain through last night.” Saoirse magicked a small bag of candies. “For little Madzie. Best wait until tomorrow before giving them to her, though, or she won’t sleep tonight.”

Catarina pondered her friend’s strange behavior until Adira’s excited greeting distracted her. “Aunt Cat!” the little girl cheered with a radiant smile. Hands reached out to her from Magnus’ arms.

Catarina laughed and was happy to take the hint. “She definitely knows how to make guests feel welcome.” She smiled at the toddler who poked at her nose with a tender finger. “Don’t you, little troublemaker?”

Magnus chuckled. “You call her that now. And you haven’t even heard about today’s lunch incident.”

“Dare I ask?” she inquired with a grimace. Then made a funny face that had Adira giggling. “Where’s Alec?”

“Late paperwork.” Magnus visibly held back a pout, then perked up. “As for the lunch incident... It’s safe to say that Adira doesn’t like porridge or carrots. I’m afraid that after today we’ve lost Isabelle as a potential babysitter.” He sighed happily upon receiving the package she got from Saoirse. “Ah, you’re a lifesaver! Why don’t you two entertain each other while I make myself a cup of this, and you some coffee. Then I’ll tell you all about Princess Adira’s newest adventure.”

The endearment clearly pleased Adira. The child clapped her hands and made golden glitter rain down on them. All three were blissfully unaware of how soon such near-perfect evenings would be a thing in the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man... Okay. It looks like the brown stuff is about to hit the fan REALLY soon. (whimpers) This poor little family...!
> 
> Soooo... How badly do you want to yell at me? Feel free to do so! Thoughts? Comments? PLEASE, do let me hear from you! Comments ALWAYS make my day.
> 
> Until next time! I REALLY hope that I’ll see you all there.
> 
> Take care!


	4. From Love and Comfort...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec and Magnus fight, and communicate. And find out their little one’s gender. How long will the happiness last?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me longer than I expected to wrap up this chapter. But here we are! Hooray?
> 
> Thank you SO MUCH for your comments! Every single peep from you means THE WORLD to me, as does every single one of you who are still reading this. (HUGS)
> 
> Awkay, then. Let’s go! I REALLY hope that you’ll enjoy the ride.

Magnus had hoped that the potion Catarina brought him would erase the morning sickness entirely. For about ten hours it did. He felt better than even once since the pregnancy began and he dared to be hopeful. But then the nausea returned, with vengeance. A new dosage led to the same result. Over the course of two more weeks he attempted to wean himself from the substance thrice but ended up being so miserably sick that he thought better of it. At least it was some relief.

He was still the High Warlock, with Ragnor helping cover some of his duties to let him rest. He was also a papa and a mate. Feeling so lousy much of the time with so many people needing him was unacceptable.

Alec supported him through it all. Spent a ridiculous amount of hours trying to figure out which foods he was able to keep down. Held him when he could physically stand it. Never stopped letting him know how much he was loved, even when he was being a terrible patient and especially when he thought the least of himself. Magnus didn’t know how to handle such devotion.

He could only return it in kind. His own poorly slept nights helped him see how little rest Alec got. He’d had more than enough nightmares over the course of his long, long life to recognize the telltale signs of such. Something awful preyed Alec in his sleep and he had a nasty suspicion of what his husband was forced to see. The problem was getting his alpha to open up. Magnus did his best to remember Ragnor’s advise and wait for the right time.

Perhaps it wasn’t exactly the ‘right time’. They just happened to have a bad night simultaneously. Magnus dragged himself out of the bathroom to see Alec bolting to a sitting position in their bed, lips open for a scream of terror that never came. Wild eyes darted around frantically.

Magnus sensed his mate’s fear like it was in his own heart. Completely ignoring his own discomfort, he hurried to close the distance between them. The way Alec clung to him desperately made him want to cry. “Shh... I’m here, Alexander. I’m here, love, everything’s alright. Shh.”

It took a considerable amount of time before Alec was even remotely calm. They lay in each other’s arms, with the Shadowhunter’s hand pressed against his bump, and just breathed. Magnus was relieved that Adira remained asleep through it. Her waking up would’ve offered Alec a window to retreat back into his shell.

Eventually Magnus decided to go for it. “You’ve been having these nightmares for weeks, now. You’re on the edge and barely sleep.” He caressed the other’s face. “Those dreams... They’re nothing more than that. I’m right here, our child is right here. Can you feel us? Stay with us. Don’t shut me out.”

Alec’s jaw clenched in the stubborn manner that was adorable and infuriating. “I’m not shutting you out. I just... I’m not going to burden you with my stupid mess of a head.” The man shrugged and withdrew emotionally even while pulling him closer, a glare fixed on the ceiling. “It’s like you said, they’re just dreams. There’s no reason to dwell on them.”

Magnus did his best to not let frustration get the better of him. “True, they may not be real. But the feelings provoking them are.” He kissed his husband’s frown, along with all those new worry lines. “Everything that happened while we were expecting Adira... I know that it still haunts you. Sometimes, especially on the worst days of this new pregnancy, it all haunts me, too.” Neither of them would ever stop missing the baby they lost. “I think we’ve been so happy with the new miracle that we’ve neglected processing the more... complicated aspects.”

“What are you saying?” Alec sounded tense but not hostile. That could be considered a win.

Magnus nuzzled his nose against his beloved’s neck soothingly. “Tomorrow I’ll call that therapist I saw after... Well.” He had to pause. “And I’ll arrange a session for us both.”

“Together”, Alec murmured and it sounded far too much like a question.

Magnus tightened his hold on Alec. “Together. Always.” Come what may, they’d face it as one. For as long as there was even one breath of life in him, he wouldn’t let anything tear them apart.

Perhaps their talk, regrettably brief as it was with both of them so exhausted, helped Alec. A few minutes later the man fell asleep. Magnus kept watch over him for another hour before doing the same.

/

The following day was a bright and sunny one, the previous day’s clouds having moved away from the sun. Magnus was feeling good, or at least the level of nausea was tolerable, and Alec didn’t have more bad dreams. Ragnor and Izzy took over their professional duties to ensure that they could have a day off to enjoy each other and relax. Magnus made the promised phone call, arranging them a session, while Alec prepared breakfast for their little family. At noon came the day’s most exciting part. They had another scan, and Adira came along. It was the perfect way to make her feel included and to make the little one seem more real to her.

Mia was visibly amused by all the attention their trio aimed at the small screen that’d soon show the spark of life growing inside Magnus. “So, little miss Adira... Are you ready to meet your sibling?” The toddler nodded excitedly despite highly likely being too young to actually understand. Mia’s gaze shifted to the parents. “If the baby’s position allows, we may be able to see the gender. Do you want to...?”

“Yes!” they announced together. Without even the slightest hint of doubt. Adira squealed her agreement and clapped her hands.

Mia chuckled. “Gentlemen... And lady... Let’s get started, then.” Adira’s fascinated stare was a rather amusing contrast to Alec’s razor sharp, protective attention while a small device moved on Magnus’ skin. “The baby’s quite small but not alarmingly so, especially since everything’s developing normally.”

“Baby”, Adira whispered, utterly spellbound.

“That’s right, Little Princess.” Magnus sounded suspiciously emotional. “That’s the baby.”

“That’s your brother, Adira.” With Mia’s words they could all see it. And Alec’s heart did things it shouldn’t have been capable of.

The gender made no actual difference, of course, but knowing it... All of a sudden the precious little miracle became more solid. The baby was his child, his son.

Magnus’ hand tightened around his. He squeezed back with all the love there was in his heart and soul. Adira purred happily with a radiant smile on her face and pressed a surprisingly gentle hand against the screen. “Hi brother”, she sighed happily, pronouncing even ‘r’ perfectly.

In that moment all nightmares belonged to some other world.

/

About a week later Izzy was surprised when she passed by her brother’s office at nine in the evening and found the lights on. Her brother had always been a workaholic but wasn’t that a bit extreme, even for him? She peered in the find him hard at work. His fingers drummed the desk irritably while he visibly struggled to focus on a report. Something told her that the piece of paper wasn’t responsible for his current state of mind. “Someone’s working late.”

Alec sighed, embarrassed and annoyed at the same time. “Magnus and I tried to start choosing a name for the baby. It... didn’t go well. We argued... over several topics.” Her brother grimaced. “I’m just glad that Adi was asleep the whole time and didn’t hear a thing.”

Izzy winced. Alec and Magnus both had a bit of temper. Sometimes it just boiled over. “How bad did it get?”

“Magnus incinerated a baby-name book but we decided to take a small timeout before it could get too bad.” Alec checked the time. “Exactly two hours, then we’d talk.”

“How long has it been?”

Alec checked the time again. “An hour, twenty minutes and eighteen... no, twenty seconds.” He sighed, rubbing his tired face with a rough hand. “We remembered to say ‘I love you’ before I headed here.”

It was beyond Izzy how those two managed to even fight in an adorable manner. “So no lines were crossed and you made sure that you both know how much you care about each other before parting ways. You're right, that doesn’t sound too bad.”

“I know.” Alec rolled his shoulders, which were stiff from always carrying the weight of the world. “I just... I hate fighting with him over stupid things, especially when he’s pregnant.”

“All couples fight over stupid stuff sometimes.” Izzy sat to the edge of Alec’s desk and lay a comforting hand on his still drumming fingers. As she’d hoped they stilled. “Especially when they’re sleep deprived and hormonal.” There were dark circles around the alpha’s eyes.

Alec scowled. “I have a toddler and a husband to look after, and an Institute to run. I need to get a hold of myself.”

Izzy poked at his head with two fingers. “You also have Alec to look after. Remember him? Because I really like that guy.” She smiled at him. “Take whatever break you need, do what it takes to calm your nerves. Then go back home to enjoy your family.” She went on after his absentminded nod. “It’s not long until the baby’s already here and your lives are going to be even more hectic after that. How about we babysitters step in to give you and Magnus some alone time to pamper each other?”

“Sounds like a dreamy idea, Isabelle.” Magnus appeared calm and had clearly missed Alec as much as Izzy saw her brother missed the omega. “Ragnor... graciously offered to babysit Adira.” The man revealed a paper bag. “We never had time for a dinner, so I brought you something to eat.”

Alec’s eyes softened. (Izzy’s heart swell a size at the care and love filling his gaze.) “And for yourself, too?”

Magnus nodded, that very same look in his eyes. “Of course.” (Izzy was quick to leave her spot so the men could embrace. She wasn’t even insulted by the fact that she’d obviously been completely forgotten.) “Let’s both try to take better care of ourselves.”

Izzy knew that she was no longer needed. When she realized that there was whipped cream and nothing else in the bag for ‘something to eat’ she hurried out. As much as she loved the couple Alec and Magnus made, there were things she didn’t want to witness.

/

Alec and Magnus didn’t even try to make it out of the office before giving in to their... urges. There were whispered apologies, soft proclamations of affection, kisses and cuddles. And a lot of sex, of course. Wrapped around and buried inside each other, they both unloaded and unwound. Their bond sang and their scents danced together while they panted and hugged afterwards.

They hit a small rough patch but everything would be alright.

“How much did you have to pay Ragnor to get him to babysit?”

“I happened run into this old spell book he’s wanted to get his hands on for a few decades. I have your mother’s store to thank for that.” Magnus kissed his mate’s bare chest, where a heart was beating fast. “He said that we’re getting better at handling... these things like adults.”

“You mean fights?” Alec nodded, remembering the first arguments they had. “I think so, too. We don’t just blow up and storm off anymore.” The younger man pressed several kisses on Magnus’ small bump. “We have two kids to consider, now. They’ll learn that even two people who love each other so, so much argue sometimes. And it’s not the end of the world.”

Magnus kissed the Shadowhunter and that one gesture spoke more than a hundred words. Something needed to be voiced, though. “I love you, too.” They breathed in each other a little longer. “Now let’s go home.”

“I can’t find my...”

Before Alec finished Magnus snapped his fingers, to end up holding his husband’s boxers like a trophy. “They were on top of the fireplace.” The man winked. “The perks of having a warlock husband.”

Alec pulled his beloved closer so that one of his hands was pressed against each of the other’s but cheeks. “One of the many perks.”

An hour later they entered to loft to a beautiful sight. Perhaps Adira had been grumpy because she and Ragnor were on the couch. Both slept soundly, with the child sprawled on the man’s chest like a starfish and Ragnor holding her protectively.

Magnus was so touched that he didn’t know what to do with himself. Alec took his phone and snatched several pictures. “Jace is going to be so jealous. He never gets Adira to fall asleep.”

“That’s his fault for all the sugar he keeps feeding her because he can’t say ‘no’. He imagines that we don’t know.” Magnus leaned his head against Alec’s shoulder and wiped his eyes. “But it does look like she’s chosen her favorite sitter.”

/

The sad thing about happiness is that it’s far too often fleeting. And fate is far too often cruel. Magnus was twenty-five weeks pregnant when those dreams of Alec’s a therapist had proclaimed were nothing but imagination started to come true.

That morning Magnus felt better than he had in a while so he decided to take advantage of it and do some paperwork. In the comfort of his own home, no less, in the protection of its wards. Even Alec was comfortable with leaving him to it upon heading to the Institute. The archer did gather him a massive amount of snacks and drinks before leaving, though.

The nausea and some stomach cramps began to surge shortly before noon, surprising Magnus. Fortunately he received a distraction just when he needed one. A smile lit up his face when Alec called him. “I thought we were in agreement that you don’t have to check up on me.”

“ _You agreed. I just nodded along._ ” Alec went on before he could comment. “ _How’s my trio doing?_ ”

“Adira’s been fascinated by those magical building blocks she got from Catarina. She’s a true artist.” Magnus rubbed a couple of soothing circles on his stomach when it cramped. “Baby’s... been fairly quiet today.” There’d been far less movement than usual but he refused to surrender to panic. Adira had her quiet days while she was inside him, it didn’t automatically mean that something was wrong. “Papa’s doing alright. Although morning sickness has transformed to afternoon sickness.”

Alec, predictably, wasn’t happy about that. “ _You should get some rest. I’ll be home in an hour._ ”

“Alexander, no!” Magnus couldn’t let his husband skip work every time he felt a little uncomfortable. “I’m...” The warlock never got to finish that sentence. Because all of a sudden he broke into a fit of coughs. Which soon turned into something much more disgusting. He darted to the bathroom, never noticing that he dropped his phone.

Magnus’ stomach twisted and cramped viciously as he threw up. The world spun uncomfortably while pair of suddenly dazed eyes stared at all the red and black in the toilet bowl. And then he lost consciousness.

/

Was it possible that Alec’s heart literally stopped? Very soon it was racing. The sound of the phone dropping was already alarming, especially accompanied by the noise coming from Magnus coughing and being sick. Then there was a thud.

“Magnus?”

Alec was running in a flash when his husband didn’t answer him and something unnerving he couldn’t quite read radiated through their bond. He picked up speed at what he heard next. “ _Papa?_ ” _Adira...!_ “ _Papa!_ ” She sounded so scared...! “ _PAPA!_ ”

Dashing through the Institute, unaware of all the looks he got, Alec wanted to scream, too, but there wasn’t enough air in his lungs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Yeah. Shit, meet your old friend, the fan. (winces) Oh man, this poor little family! We’ll see how bad and dark things get.
> 
> Thoughts? Comments? Rants...? PLEASE, do let me hear from you! Comments seriously make my days, especially since thing have been... let’s say hectic lately.
> 
> ABOUT FUTURE UPDATES. Should I aim for ‘twice a week’ updates or is that too fast for you? I don’t want to overwhelm you.
> 
> Until next time! I REALLY hope that I’ll see you all there.
> 
> Take care!


	5. … to Nightmares Coming True

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s a race against time to save Magnus and the unborn little one. Is it too late? One of those responsible is apprehended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess what? I’m BAAAAAAACK, to resolve ONE cliffhanger. Yay?
> 
> THANK YOU, a thousand times, for all your comments, love and support! It means the world to me that you’re out there, waiting for new chapters. (HUGS)
> 
> Awkay, then. Are you ready to find out if I can be crueler on Malec than I have been so far...? Let’s go! I REALLY hope that you’ll enjoy the ride.

Deep inside a heart made of ice and bitter spite, hidden behind polite smiles and sweet words of believing in unison, Tamara Blueclaw had harbored a grudge against the Downworld since the awful fate that befell her family. She waited like a snake hiding in grass and almost lost her patience several times. Especially after Lightwood began his obnoxious quest to have Downworlders waltzing about as if they hadn’t committed to heinous crimes. As if they weren’t monsters. Tamara already imagined that she’d never get her chance until Aldertree came along. Suddenly her being the Institute’s most skilled technology expert and hacker offered hope, and a plan.

Watching a visibly terrified Alec storming out of the Institute through security footage, Tamara smiled in a way that would’ve caused a lot of people chills.

Now, the thing about a plan going well is that it tends to lull a person into a false sense of security. Tamara grew arrogant. Thought that no one would be able to get to her.

Until Andrew Underhill’s low, growl like voice came from behind her. “Now there’s the smile that shows your true face.” His eyes were blazing hellfire when she turned to face them. “I’m the head of this building’s security. Did you honestly imagine that I wouldn’t eventually notice someone tampering with the footage?”

Tamara lifted her chin while one of her hands slid slowly towards a blade she’d hidden under her clothes. She felt and soon sounded far less confident than she would’ve liked. “What are you going to do to me?”

A swift punch rendered her unconscious. Andrew glared at her knocked out form on the floor. “Let’s start with that.”

/

Alec was certain that it was almost exactly what happened in one of his many torturous nightmares.

He wasn’t sure how he made it to the loft, just that it took excruciatingly long. The worst part, however, followed once he actually got there. He heard Adira crying before even opening the door and the sound tore at his racing, aching heart. Alec’s hands shook so badly that it took a couple of tries before he managed to use the key and get inside.

Despite his urgency the sight unfolding in the bathroom froze Alec, overwhelmed the alpha in the worst way. Magnus lay unmoving and unconscious on the floor. A small, fast forming bruise and swell on the warlock’s forehead gave away that the omega hit his head on the way down. Which wasn’t even close to being the worst thing. The toilet bowl... It seemed to be full of blood and beyond ominous black liquid.

Adira sat beside the fallen man, sobbing and terrified. A small, still chubby hand nudged at Magnus’ shoulder, desperate to get the man to wake up. “Papa! Papa!” Eventually becoming aware of his presence, she looked at him pleadingly, her gaze begging him to fix things like he usually did. “Daddy, papa”, she whimpered, unable to articulate her feelings.

Alec had no idea how long he’d manage to control himself and the sheer terror swirling inside him. He worked his hardest to sound calm while addressing his daughter but his voice still broke. “I know, Adi. We’ll get him help, okay?” His hand trembled as he caressed Magnus’ cheek. The skin his touch met was cold and clammy. Hesitant fingers fumbled for a pulse. It was there but it didn’t feel right. As if anything about the whole thing would’ve felt right. He didn’t even consider touching the bump, didn’t want to find that... “Magnus, baby, wake up for me. For us.” Nothing happened and the first treacherous tears found their way to his eyes. “Magnus, please...!”

Very soon the daddy and daughter would’ve been crying together. But just then a portal opened. Alec almost started growling until Catarina revealed herself. “By the angel...!” she choked out. “What happened?”

Alec shook his head. “I don’t know.” Which was infuriating. How was he supposed to help if he had no idea what was wrong? His brows furrowed. “How did you know to come?”

Catarina gave him a look that changed from surprise to sadness. “You called me. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that you don’t remember, you sounded pretty out of it.” She gave Adira a comforting smile and moved deliberately slowly to not set him off, then let her magic work on Magnus.

Alec tensed up despite knowing full well that she was only trying to help. Adira started whimpering loudly as a response and he wished he would’ve been in enough control over himself to calm down for her. “Can you tell what’s wrong?” His tone was desperate and his hand squeezed Magnus’ far too tightly.

Catarina’s clenched jaw didn’t help him feel any better. “There’s internal bleeding”, she announced through her teeth. “It’s not reacting to my magic. We have to get him to the Institute, now.”

For a very long time the Institute was Alec’s home, the center of his world. But now, with a warlock husband and a half-warlock toddler... He’d seen how prejudiced his people could be. And the building he once associated with safety certainly didn’t seem appealing.

Just as Alec’s mind was about to spiral a new person joined them. Jace panted like someone who’d just finished a marathon. “I sensed...” Seeing Magnus, the blond blanched. “Oh no...”

Alec couldn’t remember the last time he would’ve been quite as happy to see his parabatai. Producing words turned out to be a challenge. “Jace...!” And that was where his vocabulary ended.

Fortunately Jace seemed to understand. The young man picked up Adira, who fought him for a while before settling for heartbreaking wails. “I’ll look after her, I promise.”

Alec nodded back. He knew Jace would care for Adira while he and Magnus... were away. His parabatai was one of the very few people in the whole world he could trust without any hesitation because Jace would protect her as fiercely as he did. That was the only thing making leaving her behind, especially in her current state of mind, bearable.

Having received his acceptance, Jace focused on the little girl. “And daddy’s going to look after papa. They’ll be back before you know it.”

Alec clung to that possibly empty promise with all he had. Unable to quite catch his breath, he gathered Magnus’ unresponsive form to his arms and pulled two of the three pieces of his world close. Attempted to shield them despite knowing miserably well that he was too late to protect. To soothe himself he tried to inhale his mate’s scent but all he could distinguish was the reek of blood, which made his stomach turn. He tightened his hold on Magnus still but no matter how he clung to his beloved it seemed like the man was already somewhere out of his reach. The most terrifying part of all was that he could barely feel Magnus through their bond.

If Alec had been able to register anything about the world around him, he would’ve noticed Catarina’s hissed commands to those working at the infirmary. (She pointed out that he was an alpha protecting his omega and unborn little one. Trying to make him leave Magnus’ side would’ve been waste of effort used better elsewhere and time that was rapidly running out.) Alec was, however, hyper aware that there were far too many people around them. He bit his lip so hard that he drew a few drops of blood to hold back a growl.

Catarina noticed. She knew better than to touch him but gave him a smile that oozed some much-needed comfort. “I know that this is awful, that letting anyone touch him is hard. But we all have the same goal, I promise. We all want to help Magnus and your baby. Let us, alright?”

Alec nodded, all words getting stuck in his throat. Slowly, knowing very well how precious his cargo was, he lay Magnus down to one of the infirmary’s beds. From that moment a storm of tests and treatment began. Alec had no idea what most of it was all about, which was as maddening as it was a relief.

None of the commotion made Magnus stir. Nor did any of Alec’s tender words and caresses. When the Shadowhunter lay a tentative hand against the bump containing their child it was taut and he couldn’t distinguish the slightest bit of movement.

By then no one knew what was wrong with Magnus, what caused the symptoms that threatened the lives of the warlock and the little one inside him. Magnus was still bleeding internally, his organs were gradually shutting down and whatever was causing it hadn’t been identified. If his body would give up...

At one point two medics talked quietly just outside the room, imagining that Alec wouldn’t hear. Unfortunately he did. And learned just how unlikely it was that the baby would survive if they’d have to bring him to the world now. The miserable odds made clear that his son’s fate was tied to his omega’s. They were right there with Alec yet slipping away from him.

Alec wanted to cry and scream but was in too much shock for either. All he could do was sit there uselessly while others did everything they could to keep his world from falling apart. Usually this was the point at which his nightmares ended.

Alec couldn’t wake up now, no matter how desperately he tried to, no matter how much he begged the angels to let the nightmare end.

/

Adira cried, cried and cried. Called out to her parents repeatedly, even attempted to portal away. Her pain got to Jace as badly as Alec’s, which bled uncontrollably through their bond. Eventually Jace was more than ready to start weeping with the toddler.

At last Adira wept herself to sleep. She was still in his arms, clung to him with all her might, and he didn’t know what to do. Even the thought of putting her to her crib, all by herself with the last of her tears still drying to her cheeks, was unbearable. But Jace felt his own, inevitable slip of self-control coming and he couldn’t be holding her when that would happen.

Thankfully a portal opened just then. Jace tensed up a little but didn’t panic because he knew that no one would get past Magnus’ wards with ill intent. Seconds later Ragnor walked through, appearing shaken and pained. “I just talked with Catarina. I offered to go to the Institute but she hinted that I might be of more use here.” The man’s jawline tightened. “She heard rumors that someone who might be responsible for Magnus’... illness has been apprehended. Perhaps you’d like to interrogate?”

Jace was more than eager. But he made a promise to Alec he had to keep. To his relief Ragnor seemed to understand. “How about I look after Princess Adira for a while?” The man sighed heavily. “I don’t have Catarina’s set of skills so there’s nothing I can do for Magnus. And I wouldn’t be allowed to interrogate the suspect. Why don’t we both do what we can to sort this?”

Jace, who’d always been a man of action, really liked the sound of that.

With hundreds of years of experience Ragnor managed to hold himself together until Jace was out of the apartment. Then he looked at Adira, saw how much like Magnus she looked, all the way to that pout. And it all came crashing down on him.

A part of the reason why he isolated himself for as long as he did was because it spared his heart. He didn’t have Magnus’ resilience to stitch his heart back together every time it got torn apart by countless of types of losses. He was by no means a cold person but only precious few had truly gotten through to him. Magnus was one of those people. His oldest friend, with whom they’d always had each other’s backs, even through the most insane of things. Someone who understood him better than anyone else.

Ragnor didn’t want to even imagine a world without Magnus.

Perhaps sensing his feelings Adira whimpered, not quite waking up but coming close. Ragnor tried and failed to blink away the moisture in his eyes while shushing softly. “Oh, don’t worry, uncle Ragnor is just having foolish thoughts.” Outside the weather was miserable. “Let’s wait for the rain to pass by together.”

They stood before the living room’s massive window for a long time, Adira sleeping restlessly and Ragnor rendered to tears for the first time in longer than he could remember.

/

Alec had no idea how much time passed. He stopped trying to keep track upon realizing that it did him far more harm than good. Magnus still didn’t wake up and the constantly tightening facial expressions of the medical team offered no reassurance.

Seeing Mia, a trustworthy face, was such a relief that he almost whimpered. She gave him a look of deep sympathy. “I’m so sorry that this scan needs to happen under these circumstances. Let’s see what’s going on in there, okay?”

Mia didn’t move a muscle before a tense nod of approval from Alec. The alpha couldn’t breathe properly while the search began. The moment they found what they’d been looking for his eyes filled with tears.

His son was still there. Alive, with a stubborn, strong heart beating. Curled up as though trying to shield himself against the threat he was under. The sight shattered what’d been left intact of Alec’s heart.

He was that tiny being’s daddy, and the things he would’ve given to be able to protect his child...!

Very quietly and with none the cheer usually associated with these scans Mia announced that the baby was doing alright, all things considered. For now, they both knew to fill in. Then the bittersweet examination was over, leaving Alec with the horrible knowledge that he might never see his son alive again.

Alec didn’t notice the cry that broke from him. Mia did and sadness filled her eyes. Her lips opened but she didn’t get the chance to utter a thing. Because someone else also noticed Alec’s distress.

Alec was startled by sudden movement, small and feeble as it was. Looking down, he found bleary, half-open cat eyes trying to focus on his face. “... so sad ... ‘s wrong?” Magnus mumbled barely comprehensibly.

Alec felt like someone had been carving his chest with a knife. He swallowed thickly and did his best to maintain a brave face. “You fell ill, do you remember?” He kissed the other’s forehead and shivered at how cold the skin under his lips was. “But you’ll be alright, I promise.”

Magnus nodded, either trusting him or choosing to have mercy on him. A soft, too cold hand brushed his cheek but didn’t have the strength to stay there for long. The limb fell, to shift very slowly and with a great of effort closer to Alec’s. Gladly taking the hint, the Shadowhunter joined his fingers with the other’s and lifted them to his lips to give a kiss. He didn’t notice Mia leaving the room. All he could concentrate on was those eyes and trying to keep them open. “How are you feeling?”

“Cold.” Every word seemed to drain Magnus a little further but at the same time Alec couldn’t bear the thought that his mate would stop talking. The warlock’s body was shaking while the man frowned from confusion. “... ‘y is it so cold here?”

“Shh.” That feeble voice was somehow breaking Alec’s heart even further and he wanted to stop Magnus from panicking. Moving slowly, worried that he’d do more harm than good, he kicked off his shoes and settled to the bed. Magnus allowed himself to be pulled closer eagerly and despite being so terrifyingly ill started purring from the contact and his warmth. (The warlock’s teeth chattered, which ruined the happy sound.) Alec swallowed back his own emotions with all his might, even as he wanted to howl from sheer agony. His fingers were far from steady while he combed them through the other’s silky soft locks. (Only he and Adira were allowed to touch that hair without earning a growl.) “I know that you feel much worse than you’d ever admit out loud. But you’ll get better soon.” Which one of them was he trying to convince? He tightened his hold on Magnus, pressed a hand against the older man’s stomach and told himself that he didn’t imagine the little kick. “Everything’s going to be okay. Let’s just get you warmed up.”

Alec kept his eyes closed, so he didn’t have to see that Magnus didn’t answer him because the omega had lost consciousness.

/

Tamara had always known that Shadowhunters could be cruel towards their prisoners. Actually facing those interrogation techniques... She was forced to admit that it was worse than she’d expected.

Andrew’s handling was bad. She was introduced to a whole new world of agony after Jace walked into the room. In the end she growled and spat out blood. “... caught on security footage ... torturing a Shadowhunter, for a Downworlder.”

Jace’s eyes flashed. “Do you imagine that you’re the only one skilled enough to play with cameras? Underhill switched off the one in this room a long time ago.” Without a shred of guilt or mercy the blond grabbed her neck with a hand that was stained by her blood and lifted her to the wall. “I feel Alec’s pain like my own right now. Unless you want me to let you feel every little bit of it...” He tightened his hold before releasing just enough of it to ensure that he wouldn’t suffocate her. “... tell me how to save Magnus. Right now.”

Tamara smirked icily. Maybe this would be the death of her but she wouldn’t go alone. “Nothing...”, she choked. “... can save that disgusting warlock.”

/

The long night came to an end. A new bleak day began. Alec must’ve nodded off at some point despite his best attempts not to because all of a sudden he was blinking his eyes open, trying to figure out what was going on.

And then it all struck him with a brutal amount of force.

Frantic once more, Alec checked Magnus over. The man was even colder than before and unconscious, and the alpha’s gentle persuasion failed to rouse him. Over the night it’d also turned out that Magnus needed oxygen whiskers. But those breaths and a sluggish heartbeat were there. Life was still there.

Alec exhaled a shuddering breath. “We made it through the night”, he whispered and brushed Magnus’ cheek with his lips. “Didn’t I tell you, everything’s going to be alright.”

Apparently fate was eager to prove him wrong. Mere moments later Catarina entered the room. The expression on her face made Alec’s stomach twist to several painful knots. He pulled his husband more tightly against his body, as though somehow able to shield Magnus. “What is it?” he managed with effort.

"The internal bleeding still hasn't stopped so it looks like Magnus needs surgery. And..." Catarina swallowed loudly and wiped her eyes swiftly. “Much like I suspected at first, this was all caused by a toxin in Magnus’ body. For now it’s unclear how it got into his system.”

Alec nodded slowly, a million thoughts and emotions wrestling over control. He wanted to find whoever was responsible and tear them apart with his bare hands. Right now, though, getting Magnus better was a priority. Wasn’t figuring out the toxin good news? “So... You'll operate on him. And you can give him a cure, right? Now that you know what's causing all this.”

If possible even more sorrow filled Catarina’s face. “Alec... I’ve consulted the Spiral Labyrinth and a lot of people. But...” A couple of tears escaped while she shook her head. “There’s no known cure because the toxin doesn’t come from our world.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man, I’m gonna have to run for my life before this story is over... (winces) And oh, Malec...! Things look bleak. Like, really, REALLY bleak.
> 
> Okay, let me hear it. Rants? Thoughts? Speculations? PLEASE, do let me hear from you! Comments ALWAYS make my days brighter.
> 
> Until next time! I REALLY hope that I’ll see you all there.
> 
> Take care!


	6. Moments of Despair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time is running out and Magnus is slipping away. It leads to a potentially disastrous decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew! FINALLY it’s time to update. Yay?
> 
> THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart, for your comments, love and support! You can’t even imagine how happy you being there makes me. (HUGS)
> 
> Awkay, then. Are you ready? Are you sure...? Because here we go.

The world spun around Alec. Which made sense, because it was falling apart. “What do you mean, there’s no cure?” His voice didn’t sound anything like his own. “Catarina, there has to be a cure! There must be something...!” He trailed off because his throat was too tight for anything to squeeze through it.

A few tears rolled down Catarina’s cheeks. “You know that I’d want to save him almost as much as you do. But... I can’t.” She fought visibly to get herself under control and sniffled. “Alec, I’m sorry, but I can’t.”

Alec shook his head. Once, twice, thrice. As though the simple gesture would’ve been enough to chase away the horrible news. Dazed in the worst way, he looked at Magnus, who was alive and breathing in his arms, shaky as those vitals were. He then pressed a hand against his husband’s bump and a tiny jolt answered him. He hadn’t lost his mate and son. (Yet.)

“Alec...”

Alec shook his head. Another word and he might fall apart entirely. He did take Catarina’s hand and squeezed it when she lay it on his shoulder, though. They were together in this pain.

Alec growled and Catarina tensed up when someone entered the room. A young, apologetic looking medic cleared his throat. “We’re ready for the surgery, now.”

Some new fire appeared to Alec’s eyes. That’s right. Magnus would be operated on in hopes of stopping the internal bleeding magic couldn’t fix. For as long as the omega would keep holding on, they’d do everything to give him a fighting chance.

Alec knew that he’d have to let go of Magnus for a little while but he really didn’t want to. He stared at his mate like it might be for the last time and swallowed futilely against the lump in his throat. “One more miracle for me”, he whispered. _Don’t leave me. Don’t you dare leave me._ “Okay?”

There was no reply. And then Magnus was wheeled away. It didn’t matter how long Alec might get to live, he’d never forget how it felt when his husband’s hand slipped away from his.

Alec couldn’t stomach being in the room that now had an empty bed. He paced and paced, until he finally made his way to the waiting area. He shouldn’t have been surprised to find Jace waiting for him there.

Sympathy and shared agony were all over the blond’s face. Jace hugged him but offered no empty promises. “We’ve got a couple of hours, right? I think there’s a punching bag calling your name.”

Alec pummeled the bag with all his might and for those stolen moments in the middle of a horror story he could breathe. He refused to let himself fall apart and cry. Falling apart would’ve meant that he was giving up and accepting a fate he refused to consider inevitable.

/

Aldertree had tried to reach Tamara all day. He needed to stop by outside and wouldn’t be able to pull that off without Underhill breathing down his neck unless she helped him. Something was going on and he had no idea what because those at the Institute loyal to Lightwood kept him in the dark. (To his irritation there were more of those people than he’d known to expect.)

Then he passed by Lightwood’s office, to see Izzy sitting there with a strained facial expression and a bottle of what looked like strong alcohol. He entered and nodded towards the bottle as soon as she looked up. “Dare I ask?” He lifted his hands at her visible suspicion. “I come in peace. You just... look like you could use a listening ear.”

Izzy worked her jaw while glaring at the alcohol like it was the thing that wronged her. Eventually she uttered speech. “Magnus... He’s at the infirmary, it looks like someone poisoned him. Catarina doesn’t think that he’ll make it.”

Aldertree used all his acting skills to make his sympathy convincing. At least he didn’t have to feign surprise. So the toxin was finally working? Took it long enough...! He sat beside Izzy, pleased that in her current emotional state she didn’t resist his... comfort. “I’m sorry to hear that.” He lay a hand on her leg. “Is there anything I can do?”

Instead of producing speech Izzy handed him the bottle. Without hesitating he took a long sip. All things considered, he might take a moment to celebrate. They sat in a surprisingly companionable silence for a mighty while.

“I just... It doesn’t make sense to me.” Izzy shook her head and wiped her cheeks. “What kind of a monster would do that to a pregnant person?”

Aldertree’s blood boiled, in more ways than one. Suddenly his tongue wasn’t under his control anymore. “It wasn’t a monster”, he hissed. “I wanted to help rid the world of a monster, along with a demon’s spawn.” He shuddered. “What the...?”

Izzy’s eyes had gone from sad to smoldering. Clearly he wasn’t the only one with acting talent in the building. “Ah, there it is. The real you.” She showed him the bottle. “I happen to know a warlock who created an excellent truth potion.” She clicked her tongue. “It must’ve been torture to wait and pretend for this long.”

Aldertree attempted the lunge at her. To find himself being hurled to the floor with a brutal amount of force. A fist slammed at his face, breaking his nose. “That... was for touching me.” She leaned closer, almost like about to kiss him. Instead she slammed her forehead against his, so that his head banged loudly and painfully at the floor. “And that was for Magnus.” He attempted to squirm but she kept him pinned down while continuing. “Now that I know I’ll get honest answers from you... Let’s talk.”

/

Twenty minutes later Andrew, who recorded to whole thing but ensured that Herondale would only receive Aldertree’s confession, walked in. He was just in time to see Izzy straighten, her high heels clicking under the force of her emotions. “Is he...?”

“Alive, yes.” Izzy stormed past him, needing to get out as fast as possible. “Get him away from here before I change that.”

Her blood burning with adrenaline, Izzy made her way to the infirmary’s waiting area. That fire transformed to ice at the sight she encountered. Alec stood there with his back to her, so she couldn’t see his face. Jace was right beside his parabatai and what she found from the blond’s gaze was like a blow to her gut. Clary was nearby as a support for Jace but also because of the special bond she had with Magnus. (She was his Biscuit and he’d watched her grow up since she was a little girl.) Usually seeing such a united front might’ve warmed Izzy’s heart. Now she froze where she stood.

_No, no, please no...!_

Inka, the sweet elderly head of the entire medical wing, was the one who had to deliver the news. She spoke softly and clearly, like a true professional used to delivering miserable verdicts. “... was successful. We’ll have to monitor the situation for a while but it looks like the internal bleeding is under control. I’m afraid the toxin is still an issue, though.” Inka paused, giving Alec time to brace himself before getting to the worst part. “The surgery took a toll on Magnus’ body and his vitals... They’re getting worse.” She didn’t have to clarify what that meant.

Time was running out, quickly.

After Inka’s condolences Alec stood horribly still until the woman was out of sight. Then, without any warning and not making even the slightest bit of noise, Alec fell to his knees. His tall, seemingly endlessly strong body shook from soundless sobs as he fell apart like never before in his life. Like his heart was being torn from his chest.

Jace moved first to offer his support, knelt by Alec’s side. Izzy stepped forward next, lay a hand on Alec’s shoulder. Clary was quick to follow her example. But no matter how close to Alec they stood, no matter how firmly they held on for him, they knew miserably well how little difference it all made.

Alec was slipping away from them with Magnus and their unborn child.

/

Catarina watched Magnus fight a war to make it through the surgery. To be left with the knowledge that they were still losing him. She’s been a medical professional for a very long time but this wasn’t just any patient. This was one of her dearest friends. Could she be blamed for needing a small break? Just fifteen or twenty minutes to pull herself together.

Magnus’ loft was a safe haven for the city’s warlocks. Its familiar wards practically embraced her when she portaled in, which made keeping her emotions in check even more difficult. And then there was seeing Adira, who slept in a carrier with marks of dried tears on her cheeks.

“She cried for hours until she finally fell asleep ten minutes ago.” Ragnor’s voice and eyes suggested that he’d cried, too. The man was surrounded by piles upon piles of books, scrolls and papers from how he’d also put his all into finding a solution. He looked at her, and she could pinpoint the exact second when he realized just bad things were. His lips opened but nothing aside a strained gasp came out. Catarina didn’t know what to say, either.

They’d been Three Musketeers for such a long time and now...

In the end the two did the only thing they could. They hugged, held on simply because they could. (And because they needed it.) The feel of Magnus’ essence everywhere around them was some little comfort.

/

Alec had imagined that when a person is in enough pain it gets so great that a mind is unable to comprehend it. (Wasn’t that how shock worked? He actually wasted a couple of precious seconds on trying to remember so his thoughts could escape the current situation.) Clearly such wasn’t the case. Because standing beside Magnus’ unconscious form and holding a cold, limp hand in his, Alec experienced every little bit of the invisible knife going through his heart.

To protect. To fix things. Those were what he was born to do. What good was he if he couldn’t help those most precious to him?

Holding Magnus for dear life, Alec thought about their angel baby. About how Adira still sometimes reached out towards her late twin’s side in her sleep. He thought about all those hopes and dreams they had for the future they were supposed to face as immortal mates. He thought about his nightmares, which were rapidly coming true. Certain words continued to echo in his skull.

/ _“Only I can save them.”_ /

Alec was exhausted, in a world of agony and desperate to not lose his family. Quite possibly out of his mind. Over the course of thirty endless minutes he worked busily with his phone and sent several fire messages. With every passing second he sensed Magnus sliding a little further away from him. When he finally received a fire message back he’d been close to praying for he almost broke down to tears of relief.

‘ _I will help you. But yours is quite a request so it will cost extra, and I can’t promise his cooperation. He will only come if he desires it._ ’

Alec kissed Magnus’ forehead and hated how cold it was. “I will find a way”, he swore with as much volume as he could manage. And at the moment it looked like there was only one way. He wasn’t aware of the tear sliding down his cheek while his grip on Magnus’ hand tightened out of sheer despair. “You and our son... I’ll protect you, whatever it takes.” He sniffled just once and nodded to himself, steel hard resolve and love filling his eyes. “There’s still life in you, and there’s still life in me. I’m not giving up on you.” He caressed the other’s stomach. “On either one of you.”

Leaving... It was definitely one of the hardest things Alec had ever done. Magnus, who usually oozed power and magic, was so very feeble at the moment. Their son was even more so. But in order to save them he had to go and hope with his entire aching heart that he’d make it back before it was too late.

Alec kissed Magnus’ fingers, then cheek. “I’ll get you help. Just... Just wait for me.”

/

Leaving was already excruciating on Alec. Perhaps it was a mercy that he didn’t have to see how behind his back Magnus’ hand, which he just let go of, twitched. It was especially a relief that he didn’t see the tears the unconscious warlock shed, sensing his departure.

Inside the darkness in which Magnus’ mind wandered he heard his father’s voice. Taunting him when he was already at his most vulnerable. ‘ _I can sense your pain, my boy. But don’t worry, it won’t be for much longer. I will see you soon._ ’

Magnus experienced the heat of Edom and inexplainable cold, such that went to his bones, simultaneously. It was too much of a shock to his already tormented system. Drifting somewhere on the edge between life and death, he managed a barely audible little whimper. “... ‘lec.”

No one answered him. No one was there to hear him. While his mind drifted further into the dark his heart began to stutter to a stop.

/

It wasn’t easy or cheap to find a warlock foolish enough to channel Asmodeus. Alec knew all too well who he was about to deal with. He was also very aware of how stupid it was to seek out an actual Prince of Hell. It probably should’ve scared him how little he cared about the possible consequences. How was he supposed to care if the outcome was that his mate and child would live?

The warlock gave him a long, evaluative look. Visibly tense and curious. “Are you absolutely certain about this? Asmodeus... He’s powerful. You Shadowhunters shouldn’t be meddling with someone like him.”

Alec nodded without a heartbeat of hesitation. “He’s the only one who can help me. Let’s get this over with.” She made no effort to hide her distaste towards him. At the moment he chose not to waste time on pointless prejudices.

Alec’s heart thumped madly while the woman muttered what sounded like a spell, closed her eyes and opened them again. They were milky white. Seconds later a man who looked chillingly lot like Magnus sat in her place.

Asmodeus’ smile was sickeningly satisfied and the man’s voice came out like a cat’s purring. “Alexander Gideon Lightwood.” (So the demon knew who he was. And clearly didn’t respect his marriage enough to call him by his full surname.) The man tilted his head. “Tell me, how is my son?”

Alec’s eyes flashed. “You know how he is”, he hissed. “He’s dying.” Uttering that wasn’t easy, especially in front of Asmodeus who visibly relished his pain. “And you’re the only one who can save him.”

Asmodeus nodded. If his own child’s fate worried the Prince of Hell at all it didn’t show. “I did wonder when you’d come to bargain.” The man pressed his hands together. “Very well. Let’s make a binding contract.”

“You actually want to make a deal over your son's life?” Alec was repulsed but, based on what he’d heard from Magnus, not surprised. He clenched his jaw and did his best to maintain a steel hard facial expression. “Alright. What do you want to convince you to save them?”

Asmodeus clicked his tongue disapprovingly. “You’re asking the wrong question.” The Greater Demon leaned closer. “What do you have to offer that’d be as valuable as Magnus’ life? How much are you willing to give to save him?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh crap...! Can things actually be getting worse? (gulps) Our poor boys! Who wants to scream at Alec for doing this and hug him endlessly at the same time?
> 
> So... Was that any good, at all? Are you guys okay? PLEASE, do let me hear from you! Comments ALWAYS brighten my days. And I could kind of use some cheering up right now.
> 
> Until next time! I REALLY hope that I’ll see you all there.
> 
> Take care!


	7. Into the Flames from Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did Alec make a deal with Asmodeus? And if he did at what cost? Is it already too late for even Asmodeus to save Magnus?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man... I’m updating at a WAY earlier hour than usual but I don’t know how long you’ll be happy about it... (chuckles nervously)
> 
> THANK YOU, a million times, for your comments, love and support! They mean more to me than you’ll ever know. (HUGS)
> 
> Awkay, then. Let’s go and check out this Halloween special. I’m sorry...!

Alec’s heart pounded, his head whirred and his eyes stung hellishly while he hurried back towards the Institute. He already felt horrible because of leaving for as long as he did. What if...?

All his thoughts and movement came to a screeching halt as soon as reached the room he left Magnus to. Because its only bed was empty and freshly made. There wasn’t even a hint of his mate’s familiar scent.

Sheer shock kept Alec from crumbling to the floor while his mind attempted to comprehend what was going on. Was he too late? No, Magnus couldn’t be...! He would’ve felt, if... Would’ve known... But, where...?

_No, no, no, nononono...!_

“I was hoping that I’d get here before you’d be back from your breather.” (That was the official explanation to his departure. He couldn’t exactly reveal where he went.) Catarina’s familiar voice barely registered. Even when she stood right in front of him he struggled to comprehend that she was there and stared at her lips in a daze. Her eyes revealed that she’d been crying. “Magnus’ heart... It’s about to stop. And being here... It obviously made him feel uncomfortable, he was crying and trembling.” She added that last bit with visible reluctance. “So we transferred him to your loft.” The message would’ve been clear even without the distraught look on her face.

Magnus had been transferred because there was absolutely no hope left. To let him pass away where he felt safe and comfortable. There was nothing the Institute’s infirmary could do. Nothing anyone could do.

Aside one person.

Alec was even surer of his decision. He braced himself as much as he could but there was nothing in the world that would’ve made the whole thing bearable. “I... I have to go home.”

“I’ll open a portal for you.” It was painful to watch how Catarina wrestled with her own emotions. “I wish that I had the words for this but...”

Alec nodded and settled for that because he didn’t know what to say, either. They exchanged a long, tight embrace that communicated everything necessary nonverbally. Then Catarina opened a portal and Alec braced himself. As he’d known to expect the loft was far from empty.

Jace and Clary sat on a couch, hand in hand and shoulder to shoulder. The redhead’s eyes were far from dry and the expression on his parabatai’s face revealed that the blond knew exactly how he felt, better than anyone. To his surprise his father was also there and squeezed his shoulder comfortingly. (Even on such a horrible day it surprised him in the best way how far the man had come, how far their relationship had come.)

Raphael was there as well, for once openly vulnerable. They shared a look and nods of mutual understanding. They’d had a great deal of... differences but this ache was something they shared.

“Hey.” Max actually managed to sneak up on him. “We all wanted to keep Magnus and the baby company before you’d get here.” His little brother was uncharacteristically solemn. “Alec, I’m...”

Alec shook his head. He didn’t want to hear those words, didn’t want to fully understand that this was happening. “Thank you for taking my post while I was away.” He ruffled the boy’s hair, which would’ve usually been met with protests. “Don’t tell Jace but you may be my favorite brother.”

Izzy had been seeking comfort from the arms of Simon, who didn’t seem a lot less emotional than she was. She moved like a lightning and all of a sudden her arms were around Alec. (What she attempted to do came to him after a delay. She tried to shield him with her much smaller body, protect him like he’d always protected her.) “We’re all here for you, remember that, _hermano_. You’re not alone in this.”

Alec clenched his jaw. Once, twice. It didn’t make him feel any better. “I know”, he managed with difficulty. He let his gaze scan through the crowd gathered to the loft. “Thank you, for being there for us. But... Right now I... I kind of need to be alone with my husband.”

Izzy’s brows furrowed. “What? No, we’re not leaving you...!”

“Iz, please.” Was that really his voice? “I need to... And I can’t...”

Fortunately Jace seemed to understand. (Well, half of the truth, anyway.) “We get it. And if you need space we’ll give you that, whatever you need. Just... I’ll sense immediately when...” The rest didn’t need to be voiced. “Don’t expect me to _not_ come running then.”

Alec was spared from having to comment on that because Ragnor emerged from the bedroom, wiping his eyes swiftly. The warlock appeared both relieved and pained upon seeing him. “There you are. He’s been waiting for you.” _He’s been holding on for you_ , was the unvoiced part.

Alec nodded, then looked at his siblings and father, even at Raphael and Ragnor. Seeing them there, united for this agonizing battle... It gave him a great deal of comfort. Along with enough strength to make his way to the bedroom.

Alec had imagined that it all couldn’t get any more painful before he entered the bedroom. His mom sat there, watching over Magnus and Adira who slept side by side. It was easy to see how hard his little girl had cried and it shattered his heart. At least at the moment she appeared content, clinging to her papa. She was blissfully unaware of the fact that the omega was slipping away.

Alec didn’t know that he whimpered, which was what caused his mom to look his way. Her suspiciously moist eyes filled with grief for him. “She portaled here almost as soon as he was transferred. I didn’t have the heart to take her away because she finally stopped crying.”

Alec nodded, words fleeing his mind. At least his mom wasn’t expecting him to say much. She closed the distance between them and pulled him to a long, supportive hug. He embraced her back like when he was still a little boy, tried to convey everything he wanted to say with that contact. “I love you, mama.” He had to pause because his voice broke. “Thank you for looking after them.”

His mom tightened her hold on him. “I love you, too. And of course I’ll be there for all of you, anytime you need me.” They both knew that he’d never needed her more.

Alec swallowed, his gaze locked on his little family. He didn’t want to look away for even a second as long as he still had them all in front of him. “Can you babysit Adi? I just... What’ll happen tonight...” He didn’t want his daughter to see it.

“Of course.” His mom sniffled and he could sense how badly she would’ve wanted to take his pain away. “Alec, I’m so sorry.”

Alec closed his eyes. A few tears escaped his steel-hard control before he managed to get a grip over himself. “So am I”, he murmured and bit his lip to not utter more. He remained in her embrace for a few more seconds before speaking. “Before you leave... Can I have a moment with Adi?”

Of course his mom granted him that. Alec waited until she was out of the room before sitting to the edge of the bed. His hand wasn’t entirely steady while he caressed his daughter’s hair, identical to his husband’s. His heart ached when she opened her eyes and smiled radiantly at him. “Daddy! Daddy!”

Alec smiled, even if it was through the tears he didn’t shed yet. “Shh, Adi. Go back to sleep.” He breathed in and out. It didn’t do much good with how tight his chest was. “I know that things have been scary. But everything’s going to work out, I promise. So go back to sleep.”

Adira didn’t seem convinced. She pouted and grabbed his hand, held on incredibly tightly. Needing her to go back to sleep before he’d break down, Alec started to sing softly. It was a lullaby he’d caught Magnus singing to her a few times. He didn’t think his voice was anywhere near as beautiful, especially with how it cracked a couple of times, but it did the trick. Adira fell asleep clinging to his finger. Never knowing of the tears her daddy shed.

/

Slowly and quietly the loft began to empty. It was a small mercy that Adira remained fast asleep in Maryse’s arms and didn’t know that she was taken away. The group didn’t like the idea of leaving but at such a time the least they could do was respect Alec’s wish. Jace was the last to go, with every cell in his body screaming at him to stay.

Before going Jace peered into the bedroom. It was terrifying to see how close to being completely gone Magnus was. He dreaded to imagine what’d become of Alec _after_ , how little would be left of his parabatai.

Alec bonded with Magnus to stay with him forever – would the alpha have the strength and will to _stay_ without his omega?

“Hey”, Jace whispered when a pair of bloodshot eyes rose to meet his. (The small growl that came before the eye-contact was heartbreaking. Alec would keep protecting his family until the very last second.) “Are you sure that you don’t want me to stay?”

Alec nodded. This was his fight, until the bitter end. Alec had always preferred isolating himself when he was suffering. Nothing had ever been as bad as this.

The brothers exchanged a hug, clung to each other to shoulder the agony they shared only partially because of their bond. “You’ll be with me, all the way”, Alec pointed out quietly. “We’re parabatai, remember?”

“That’s right”, Jace affirmed. Glad that Alec remembered and was able to find some solace from that knowledge. “And I’ll be back here, after. I won’t let you go through that alone.”

Alec nodded. Jace had already almost left when his brother spoke up. “You’re a great parabatai.”

Jace shrugged. He wasn’t quite sure how to handle the unexpected compliment. “I'm not so sure about that but I have my moments.” He glanced towards Magnus once more and wished that he could’ve done something to help his dying brother-in-law feel better. But no useless words would’ve done any good and he doubted that touching, even by him, would’ve been taken well by Alec. Maybe the knowledge that Alec wouldn’t be alone was enough for Magnus, wherever his mind drifted at the moment. “See you later.”

He blamed the strange look Alec gave him on the absolutely horrible day. “Yeah. See you later.”

/

Vera had channeled numerous demons over the course of her long life. But never before a Prince of Hell. Perhaps that was why she ended up underestimating what he was capable of. And the experience was rattling as well as exhausting enough to make her forget something.

She didn’t break the mirror – and before long she found Asmodeus looking back at her, in all his glory.

From the moment he said Vera’s name her body and mind weren’t hers anymore. She allowed him to her world and he repaid by dropping her to the floor as though she was a broken toy. Asmodeus didn’t spare her lifeless body a glance while marching out of the store like a proper royalty. “I have a son to save. And a prize to collect.”

/

An actual Prince of Hell entering New York... It was bound to be noticed. At the Institute Magnus’ wards and several other detectors reacted to the unwanted visitor almost instantly. Elsewhere Ragnor dropped the mugs of tea for himself and Catarina he’d been carrying, sensing the new, menacing magic. He blanched, several pieces of a puzzle coming together in his head. “Asmodeus...!”

While the two warlocks rushed to the Institute to warn and obtain backup they sorely needed Asmodeus was fast on the move, as was his plan.

/

Even without their bond Alec would’ve known that Magnus’ time had almost come to an end. The man’s body continued to grow colder in his arms, even if there was still a hint of life inside it. Those feeble breaths and the sluggish heartbeats that kept Alec’s own hope alive had taken the kind of a pattern common for a body that was letting go. Soon the body he was anxiously clinging to would be nothing but an empty shell. Even the thought was unbearable.

“I’m... I don’t know if you can sense me at all anymore. But... If you can...” It was incredibly hard to speak through the immense weight sitting on his chest. “Please, hold on a little longer.” His other hand caressed the bump that had gone far too still. “Both of you.”

Suddenly Magnus’ body shuddered violently and Alec’s heart stopped for a couple of seconds, fearing that _that was it_. Then the wards protecting the apartment tingled, announcing a threat. And a firm, rhythmic knock pierced the suffocative silence. Alec knew instantly who it was. So did his mate.

Magnus frowned and whimpered. Which nearly broke Alec’s resolve until he reminded himself firmly of why he was doing this. “I promised in our vows that I’d protect you, do you remember?” He kissed Magnus’ forehead which brought out another whine of distress. “Shh, baby. Don’t worry. Everything’s going to work out.” Leaving the bed was as hard as leaving the infirmary’s room not long ago.

For the second time he missed a hand twitching and attempting to reach out, begging to be held.

Opening the apartment’s door, Alec glared at Asmodeus. “How did you make it to this world?” he demanded. “That wasn’t a part of our deal.”

Asmodeus rolled his eyes while letting himself in. “Did you imagine that a feat such as this one could be achieved without my physical presence? Foolish Nephilim. As to how...” Asmodeus snapped his fingers, producing sparks of threatening red magic. “I am a Prince of Hell. Now allow me to focus on my son.” That... sounded like something close to genuine care.

Alec was quick to follow the Greater Demon. Allowing him near Magnus, whose anxiety was visible... Alec had to use all his willpower to remember that this truly was the only way. Even with that knowledge he was so stiff that his muscles twitched.

If Asmodeus noticed his or Magnus’ displeasure it didn’t bother the man. The demon leaned to his son’s ear and whispered something in a language Alec couldn’t understand. Magnus whispered back something that made Asmodeus smirk before the man blew. The same magic Alec saw earlier formed a cloud which Magnus breathed in, to emit a pained moan immediately after.

“What did you do to him?” Alec growled.

Asmodeus darted a pair of vicious cat eyes at him. “I’m saving him, as was our deal. Now be quiet or I will have you removed.”

Thirty seconds, which Alec counted, dragged on. Until without a warning Magnus’ back arched and a puff of green smoke came out through open lips, to disappear a heartbeat later. The warlock’s drained body slumped back to the bed. Breaths coming out easily. The relief that rushed through Alec almost brought him to his knees.

Magnus would make it.

“I did as we agreed.” Asmodeus straightened and took a threatening step closer to him. “Now it’s time for your payment.”

/

Magnus returned to the waken world slowly and with great effort. The first thing he registered was the familiar room. And then the even more familiar man sitting beside him. He would’ve smiled if it wasn’t for the sadness in Alec’s eyes.

What was going on?

Alec caressed his hair and looked at him like it was for the last time. “Magnus, I love you and our kids. More than anything. And... I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. But... This was the only way.” A desperate kiss was planted to his lips and he responded the best as he could. (Still far too out of it to understand what, exactly, was happening.) “Please forgive me.” And then Alec was leaving.

Magnus’ heart clenched painfully and their son reacted to his distress by moving restlessly. What? No, Alec wasn’t supposed to be leaving! Where was he going?

Frantic but far too drained to actually do much, Magnus reached out for his husband’s face. Pressed a desperate hand against the other’s cheek. “... stay with me ...”, he pleaded, barely audibly but from the bottom of his heart and soul. Tears gathered to his eyes although he still didn’t understand.

Alec closed his eyes, like watching him was something unbearable at the moment. “I’m sorry. I can’t.” The alpha visibly braced himself before walking away.

Magnus didn’t have the strength to stop him. And the sense of failure... It was like a stab right through his heart.

/

In the living room Asmodeus was waiting for Alec with impatience written all over his face. The Shadowhunter clenched his jaw. “You promised me three minutes. Now I’m coming along. Just as we agreed.”

That was the deal they made. A one-way trip to Edom, for the lives of Magnus and their son. (No Nephilim survived where he was about to go.)

Asmodeus watched him with something akin to curiosity for a couple of seconds. Then nodded, all traces of emotion gone. “Very well.” When the Greater Demon moved to snap his fingers Alec grabbed his wrists, causing the man to glare at him.

Alec glared back as fiercely. “Not here.” He had a horrible feeling that he’d scream, as hard as he’d try not to. He didn’t want Magnus to hear it.

Asmodeus rolled his eyes. “You Nephilim with your demands... But alright.” A portal opened. “Let’s stop wasting time. My presence here won’t go undetected for long and I’d appreciate avoiding further delays.”

Seconds after they walked through the portal Catarina, Ragnor, Jace, Izzy and Clary barged in.

Asmodeus and Alec stood on a rooftop. The archer looked at the city where he’d spent all his life. His gaze swept longingly towards where he presumed home was. A home he’d never see again.

_I love you_ , he focused on, wanting it to be the last thought he’d ever have. He worked his hardest to maintain a brave façade even while fear, guilt and pain clawed at him mercilessly. “I’m ready.”

“Believe me, boy, you are not.” Seconds after Asmodeus’ ominous words fire from hell itself began to rise. And engulfed them both on their way down.

Alec squeezed his eyes tightly shut when the burning became too much to bear. _I love you. I love you. I love you so much._ He broke into a howl of anguish while the merciless flames dragged him from the world he knew to Edom.

/

Jace started to scream just as Alec did and fell down to his knees, his brother’s pain literally sweeping him off his feet. He couldn’t hear Izzy and Clary demanding to know what was going on. All he could comprehend was that his parabatai rune... It was on fire.

In the bedroom, still too weak to actually scream, Magnus howled soundlessly from similar anguish, tears rolling down his pale cheeks. He cried out silently, again and again. Clawed at the bedsheets, then clutched at his head to make it stop hurting.

And then it was over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo... Yeah... I’m just, you know, going to RUN. Like... Now. And you thought Halloween sucked for Malec on the show...!
> 
> How much does/did Alec love Magnus? THAT much. (sniffles)
> 
> Bring it on! Rants, threats, just comments in general? PLEASE, do let me hear from you! Comments ALWAYS brighten my days.
> 
> Until next time! I REALLY hope that I’ll see you all there.
> 
> Take care – and even after a chapter like this, Happy Halloween!


	8. Pains of Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened to Alec? The gang attempts to cope with the situation and figure out what to do next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man, the previous chapter was quite emotional, wasn’t it? We’ll see how this one turned out... (gulps)
> 
> THANK YOU, a million times, for your comments, love and support! It means SO MUCH to me that you’re all so emotionally invested. (HUGS)
> 
> Awkay, then. Are you ready? Let’s go and hope for the best...!

Once the searing agony was over Jace still couldn’t breathe. His hands trembled pitiably while he lifted the hem of his shirt, absolutely terrified of what he’d find. Or wouldn’t. Tears filled his eyes, blinding him, and in almost any other situation he would’ve been embarrassed.

The parabatai rune was still there. Faded to about half of what it should’ve been but not gone. Which meant that Alec was still there, too, somewhere.

“ _Jace?_ ” A hand pressed against his face and a pair of worried eyes attempted to catch his. Izzy was frowning and tense, ready for a battle. “Jace, what the hell happened?”

Jace shook his head. He didn’t understand it himself. At the moment only one thing made sense. “Alec”, he whispered miserably. He had to find his brother. He had to get to his parabatai.

A heavy, shocked silence lingered for a few seconds until someone joined in. “Alec made a deal with Asmodeus. I should’ve...!” Magnus’ voice didn’t have its usual force but it nonetheless startled them. The warlock stood leaning against a doorframe, pale and visibly unsteady. There was a wild, desperate look in his eyes that mirrored what Jace felt. He must’ve used almost every little bit of the strength he just regained to make it out of the bed. “He took Alec to Edom, didn’t he?” By then Magnus’ knees were trembling so badly the Ragnor helped him to a couch.

Seeing Magnus there, alive and conscious, was like soothing balm. Thanks to Alec’s brash decision they didn’t lose him. Seeing the omega gave them hope that they wouldn’t lose the alpha, either. They wanted to tell Magnus how happy they were to see him but the moment wasn’t right.

“Edom?” Izzy’s brows furrowed while her face became even paler. “But, how could Alec survive there?” She clicked soon. “Because of the bond with Magnus?”

“That son of a bitch knew and took Alec where he wanted me to follow.” Magnus’ unglamoured eyes darted around restlessly, like his mind was a million miles away. “Asmodeus, when he gets impatient... I have to get there before he loses his patience and takes it out on Alec.”

“What does Asmodeus want from you?” Jace really hoped that he managed to sound tense rather than hostile. (Not that Magnus would’ve paid a lot of attention to his surroundings.) Why would a Prince of Hell play sick games like this with a warlock, even someone as powerful as Magnus?

“He wants me to rule Edom beside him. He’ll do whatever it takes to get me there.” Magnus lifted his chin, bracing himself, trying to appear strong despite only just having been at death’s door. “Because I’m his chosen son.”

/

Sari was a daughter of Asmodeus. There was a time when she rebelled against her father but she returned to his side when terrestrial life turned out to be so painful that it almost killed her. She let him educate and mold her, transform her into the perfect Princess of Hell. She didn’t care about ruling beside him. She wanted him to make her strong enough to punish the brother who took away everything she cared about.

And now one of the three things Magnus cared about the most was right in front of her, unconscious and chained.

Sari tilted her head, watching the Nephilim. She could see why her brother fell for his charms. He was a pretty thing, even if there were still some traces of fast healing burn marks on his skin. Magnus had always enjoyed pretty things.

She’d be sure to ruin this one for him.

“Why is he chained?” she demanded upon hearing steps. The real question was audible. _Why is he alive?_

“Because Magnus will come and collect his pet.” Her father sounded amused. “He’s quite fond of this one.”

Sari bit her teeth together. The years – decades, centuries – she’d spent with her father had taught her to keep parts of her plans to herself. Especially the kind of parts he wouldn’t appreciate.

Her father wanted Magnus to rule beside him. If it was up to Sari that’d never happen. He’d pay for what he did to her with his life. But before that she’d make him watch her burn his world, just like he burned hers. “I can’t wait to see Magnus again.” Perhaps the pretty pet they stole was worth something.

/

A heavy silence lingered in the loft while the group digested Magnus’ revelation. Of course Jace, Izzy and Clary had known that all warlocks had a demon parent. But a Greater Demon and a Prince of Hell... Now that was rare.

“This is all my fault.” Magnus bowed his head in shame and placed a protective hand on his stomach. He didn’t want to see the young Shadowhunters’ shock that’d soon turn into revulsion. Clary had given him a glass of orange juice but so far he hadn’t taken a sip. His grip on the glass tightened. “My heritage... I’m not proud of it. And now Alec...” His voice, already only a hint of its usual, faded away.

“Magnus.” Jace’s voice was firm but not hostile. He managed to get the rapidly spiraling man’s attention. “None of this is any more your fault than Valentine’s deeds were mine. The only one any of us blames is Asmodeus.”

Those words didn’t really make their way to Magnus’ heart but at very least the warlock was touched by the sincerity. He drank about half of the juice, then inhaled a deep, shuddering breath. “I need to go there. There’s no other way.” Under different circumstances he might’ve laughed at the cruel twist of fate. He swore to himself that he’d never, ever go back to Edom and now he couldn’t wait to get there.

“Absolutely not!” Ragnor’s eyes blazed while he shook her head. He wasn’t typically quite so hot-headed but... “Magnus, you... You just almost died.” _Do you have any idea of how close to losing you we were, how badly you scared me?_ , that gaze spoke. “Your body needs time to recover, especially because you’re pregnant. You’re in no condition for confronting a Greater Demon!”

“I’m not leaving Alec there!” Magnus protested, more than an edge of despair in his voice. His body was full of restless energy and what was left of his magic threatened to spin out of control. He got up, needing to walk it all off, but his knees buckled almost immediately.

Jace caught him before he could embarrass or hurt himself. “Woah! Careful.”

“Of course you’re not leaving Alec there.” It was easy to see how hard Izzy worked to seem calm. “But you need to think about your baby, too. Rest and recover first, for both your sakes. We’ll figure out a plan together.” They had to be smart if they wanted to beat Asmodeus in his own home, while he had a precious hostage they couldn’t bear to lose.

Magnus attempted to find comfort from knowing that he wasn’t alone in this. All he could think about was Alec, trapped and under Asmodeus’ joke of mercy, in who knows what condition. The unfortunate reality was that his Shadowhunter allies literally couldn’t go to Edom and Ragnor and Catarina weren’t strong enough to challenge his father, even together. “We may not have enough time to come up with a plan”, he pointed out quietly.

“We do.” Jace gave him something like a smile. “Because Alec is at least as stubborn as you are. He’ll never give up trying to find his way back home.”

Ragnor lay a hand on his shoulder. “We’ll figure this out. Together. But right now you need to get some rest.”

“Come on”, Clary beckoned gently. She didn’t quite hug him. (They all understood and respected that there was only one person he would’ve wanted a hug from.) But the way she wrapped a supportive arm around him was as good as an embrace. “Let’s get you to bed. Do you need to borrow my strength? Like when you were healing Luke?”

Magnus shook his head firmly, ignoring how the action made black spots dance in his line of vision. He was being a fool. But sharing strength... It was something incredibly intimate. Which was why he’d only ever done it with Alec and would never do with anyone else.

His mind and body... They were utterly drained, unable to remain functional, no matter how badly his heart and soul wanted to keep going. He was out cold before his head hit a pillow. He didn’t stop dreaming of Alec for even a second. In the most awful ones of those dreams Alec said goodbye to him over and over again before getting burned alive by hellfire. In the most soothing dreams they were holding each other and never let go.

/

When the fire from hell consumed him, Alec expected it to be his end. He didn’t expect his eyes to flutter open and see the menacing sky of Edom, with demons circling there like vultures. He swallowed thickly, his breath catching. A deed which startled him.

He... was able to breathe? And he had a heartbeat? How...?

He didn’t realize that he wondered out loud until a voice answered him. “There’s so much you and Magnus don’t know about your bond. You can survive in Edom, now.” Asmodeus’ steps approached him. “Welcome to your new home.”

Alec shivered from revulsion and attempted to get up to fight. Only to find that he’d been shackled heavily to the ground. The metal around his wrists, ankles and neck burned. Not enough to leave marks but certainly enough to make it uncomfortable. With effort he turned his gaze towards Asmodeus, who towered above him. “Why didn’t you just kill me?”

“Simple, Shadowhunter. Because you’re still useful to me.” Asmodeus smiled in the kind of a manner that would’ve chilled anyone’s blood. “We have more in common than you realize. You value your family. Especially your children.”

“ _Do not_ speak of them”, Alec hissed.

Asmodeus went on as though not having heard. “I want those of my children I’ve chosen close to me. And just like you, I’d do anything to make that happen.”

“Magnus will never come to you”, Alec growled and tried very hard to sound convincing.

Asmodeus wasn’t impressed. “You don’t believe that yourself, do you?” The demon’s cat eyes flashed. “At first I planned to kill you. I also toyed with the idea of ending your relationship with Magnus but you seem to have this infuriating habit of finding your way back to each other. So I chose to use that bond to my advantage.” The man looked at him with something very close to amusement. “Having you here... What would beckon my foolish son more? With him I’ll also have your unborn child. It’s a boy, isn’t it?” Asmodeus’ new smile revealed his teeth. “He will rule beside me, one day. They both will. And when she’s old enough to be useful to me Adira will start looking for her parents and join us.”

Alec felt sick to his stomach because Asmodeus was right. While attempting to save Magnus and his son he condemned his entire family to literal hell. Suddenly another nauseating thought came to his head. “You orchestrated all this, didn’t you?” How could someone, anyone...? “Those nightmares I had... I remember your voice whispering to me.” The memories of those dreams were even more jarring now that he’d seen them become reality. “And that toxin Magnus was poisoned with, it was from another world. How did you know that it wouldn’t kill him before your plan worked?”

Asmodeus shrugged. “I would’ve had him back, anyway. In spirit or in body.” There wasn’t a shred of guilt or sorrow. If anything the Prince of Hell appeared pleased. “However, I knew that I could count on you two. Nephilim have always been pathetically predictable and so is my son. Now we’ll just wait for him to arrive.”

Alec shook his head. Refused to believe that Asmodeus would just... have his way like this. “I will get free from these chains.” He would find a way, whatever it’d take. “And when I do, I’ll kill you.” He’d killed demons before but doubted that he would’ve ever enjoyed it more.

Asmodeus pursed his lips almost playfully. “You see, I don’t think you will.” The demon leaned closer, taunting him. “I think my life is quite valuable to you.”

/

Magnus had no idea how long he slept. He woke up with a shudder to the sensation of someone touching him and growled viciously. His potential attacker didn’t need to know how feeble he was at the moment.

Mia gave him an apologetic look. “I’m so sorry I startled you.” She gave him a few moments to calm down before continuing. “I know that you wouldn’t want to do this without Alec. But we need to make sure that your little one is alright after... well, everything.”

Magnus tensed up. She was right, he didn’t want to see his son without Alec by his side. But his child’s wellbeing had to come first. So he nodded and moved the hem of his shirt out of the way.

This time the devise used was a portable one and the screen was a lot smaller. Magnus saw clearly nonetheless and his heart thudded at the precious sight. His baby... A spark of life that almost went out with him...

A heart was beating strongly and stubbornly. Little legs kicked furiously and the child had his fists balled. Not even born yet and already prepared for a battle. Already so much like his daddy. Magnus could barely breathe from the pressure squeezing his chest and his eyes blurred.

_Oh, Alexander... You saved him. Your foolish, incredibly brave sacrifice... It saved us both. Can you sense that from where you are? You saved us._

It was the most bittersweet moment of his entire long life.

/

It was deviously easy to lose track of time in a place like Edom. Alec glared at the sky he’d likely have nightmares of and worked his hardest to figure out a way to escape. He thought of Magnus. Of their unborn son. Of Adira. He refused to give Asmodeus the satisfaction of hearing his screams but in his chest his heart howled from longing.

He wanted to be where his mate was, so badly.

Alec vowed to himself that he wouldn’t fall asleep in the presence of someone like Asmodeus. But he actually did need rest, as much as he had a habit of testing his limits. In the end exhaustion won.

His dreams... They were torture, the sweet kind this time. In them he was home. Magnus lay in his arms, safe, alive and healthy. They kissed and the pleasant kind of fire it brought to Alec’s belly drove him wild. Which was nothing compared to what overcame him when they made love. Their bodies moved as one, in perfect harmony. Created to fit together.

Alec woke up in the possibly most unpleasant way imaginable to Asmodeus’ hand tapping his cheek. Seeing the man looming over him, he clenched his jaw. Already bracing himself.

Asmodeus didn’t seem happy. “Magnus is being stubborn.” Red magic began to glow ominously. “It’s time to send him an invitation.” When he flinched the man huffed. “Stop trying to be so stubborn. I can tell how much you want to be with him again. I saw it in your dreams.”

Alec didn’t have enough time to react to those words. Asmodeus’ magic took a hold of him. He fought, and fought. But eventually he threw his head back and started to scream.

/

In New York Magnus had also been dreaming about Alec. He jolted to awareness when intense, fire-hot pain coursed through him. In a moment of awful confusion he couldn’t understand where it was coming from and clawed at his bump frantically, terrified that something was happening to the baby. Then, his eyes flying wide open, he realized that the agony’s origin was elsewhere.

_Alexander...!_

In wild panic and sheer rage Magnus wrestled his way out of the bed and stumbled to the bathroom. His legs were still unsteady and his whole body drained from his near-death experience. Alec’s pain... It left him even more unsteady. By some miracle he made it to his destination. Even if he slumped to the tiled floor as soon as he got there.

With what little magic he had at the moment Magnus sound-proofed the room, just coherent enough to suspect that others were in the apartment, plotting to save his alpha. While Alec’s agony echoed inside him, he screamed, at the top of his voice. And slammed his fist repeatedly against the floor. Anxious to open a portal he didn’t have enough powers for. “Alec!” he cried out like it was a prayer. Tears and blood from broken knuckles stained the floor. “Alec, I’m sorry! I’m so sorry...!”

In Edom a few tears escaped an unconscious Alec’s eyes. Asmodeus didn’t see them, nor would he have cared. With his eyes closed the Prince of Hell smiled, sensing his son’s distress.

Magnus would be home soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, who’s on team ‘Let’s kill Asmodeus’? Because, seriously! Poor Malec. (sniffles)
> 
> We’re moving from angst train to action train – we’ll see what the next few chapters bring...
> 
> Soooo... Was that any good, at all? PLEASE, do let me hear from you! Comments ALWAYS mean the world to me.
> 
> Until next time! I REALLY hope that I’ll see you all there.
> 
> Take care!


	9. The Downfall of the Mightiest...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus struggles to keep it together while Alec is still trapped in Edom. Will Asmodeus have his way? The Prince of Hell doesn’t realize that he makes a couple of mistakes along the way...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was one of those chapters that fought me every step of the way. Which is why I’m awake at a ridiculous hour. (chuckles) BUT, here we are. Yay?
> 
> THANK YOU, so much, for your comments, love and support! They mean more than you know to me. (HUGS)
> 
> Awkay, then. Let’s go! I REALLY hope that you’ll enjoy the ride.

Feeling Alec’s pain knowing that his husband was far away, where Magnus couldn’t help him... It was pure torture. Perhaps worse was suddenly not feeling Alec at all. Magnus clenched his eyes shut and screamed yet again, squeezing at his chest where his heart was falling to pieces.

When Magnus opened his eyes again he was in bed. Catarina and Ragnor were beside him, equal amounts of exasperation, concern and sympathy on their faces. “Your magic lashed out quite spectacularly”, Ragnor reported without needing to be asked to. “I’m afraid your bathroom suffered the brunt of it. Catarina and I fixed it while you... slept.”

Catarina held out a glass of something green. (He nodded gratefully before taking a small sip and shuddering at the taste. If he didn’t trust Catarina as much as he did, he would’ve assumed that she was attempting to poison him.) She sighed heavily. “You were so out of control that I had to sedate you. I’m so sorry, but I couldn’t let you accidentally harm your baby...”

Magnus shook his head. He... actually felt stronger. Physically, anyway. “Thank you for looking after us.” He felt sick imagining what could’ve happened if she didn’t interfere. Would he have harmed his child? Destroyed the entire apartment and those who were inside to keep him company and to try figure out how to save Alec? His mind locked on a single thought and there was a painful thud in his chest. _No! No, no...!_ “Alec...!” He couldn’t feel his mate at all. What if Alec was...?

“Jace still has the parabatai rune”, Ragnor interrupted his chaotic trail of thought. “He can’t feel Alec, either. Most likely due to Asmodeus’ interference.” (Of course. That was just the kind of a mind game the Greater Demon enjoyed playing. Not knowing how Alec was doing was torture. It also made him more likely to cooperate because he wouldn’t know immediately what kind of consequences disobedience would have.) Ragnor held his gaze to ensure that his friend had his attention. “Magnus, Alec is still alive. He’s still fighting to make it back to you. So keep your head in the game.”

Magnus fixed his attention on the ceiling and focused hard on breathing for a while. Then he did his best to smile convincingly. “I’m so glad I have you two in my life”, he murmured honestly.

“We’re glad to have you, too. So let us take care of you.” Catarina gave him a warm hug. “We’ll get you something to eat before you fall asleep again. You may not be hungry but the baby is.”

Magnus nodded absentmindedly. Even the idea of eating nauseated him but Catarina was right. He had to eat to regain his strength and be any use to his family. Drained and so frustrated that he wanted to scream, he curled up with one hand pressed against his bump. Magnus stared at his wedding ring longingly and wished that he would’ve been able to fee the soothing balm of his bond with Alec. A miserable whimper crawled up his throat.

His mate seemed to be even further away than before.

/

Ragnor could sense his friend’s agony and hated that there was nothing he could do to ease it yet. Emerging from the room, he saw Jace sitting on a couch with his face buried in both hands. “I... I can’t feel him, Clary. I can’t feel him...!”

At least Jace wasn’t alone. Clary wrapped a supportive, or perhaps protective, arm around him. She whispered something Ragnor couldn’t hear, nor was it meant for his ears. He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed tiredly.

This entire mess had already aged his soul at least a century and he had an unpleasant feeling that it was far from over.

_I know that you can’t hear my thoughts but damned it, Alec. You’d better hang on until we find a way to get you out of there. Because two people wouldn’t survive losing you._

/

Sari was left babysitting the Shadowhunter while Asmodeus announced that he had important matters to take care of. Her father healed the damage he caused the young man but the stench of burned flesh was still heavy in the air. One of the demons circling around above them caught the smell and dove closer eagerly. (Edom was a hostile place where every chance for a meal had to be embraced.) Sari was tempted to let the beast have its way but changed her mind on the last moment and chased it away with a blast of magic. The Shadowhunter would die but not until the moment was right.

Perhaps Sari was also a little impressed. Not that she would’ve ever admitted as much out loud. Alec survived the kind of brutality from Asmodeus she’d seen a couple of her siblings succumb to. The alpha was a fighter. Shame that he made the mistake of inviting someone like Magnus into his life.

She’d hoped to avoid having to listen to their hostage but Alec succeeded in catching her by surprise. He groaned quietly and attempted to sit up, only to slump right back down. It took quite a while before a pair of half-open, bleary eyes glared up at her. “... are you?”

Sari tilted her head. That was the first thing he wanted to know? “What would you do with that information?” she inquired, deciding to humor herself. Sources of entertainment in Edom weren’t aplenty. Why not make the most of this one?

She never heard Alec’s answer because his attention was claimed by other matters. He tensed up, his eyes becoming alert when alarm filled them. “What the hell did Asmodeus do?” Fear and rage blended together seamlessly, creating something incredibly powerful. “I... I can’t feel Magnus. What did he do?”

He almost got burned to death by Asmodeus’ magic and his concern was his omega? Sari wasn’t as amused or disgusted as she should’ve been. She’d experienced... those emotions, too, a very long time ago. “My father couldn’t severe your bond but he managed to mute it. Magnus can sweat for a while, wondering what condition you’re in.”

“Your father? Asmodeus?” Alec’s eyes gave away the moment he figured it out. “You’re Magnus’ sister.”

Sari wrinkled her nose in disgust. “I’d prefer pretending that such a connection doesn’t exist. But yes, I am.” She took a step closer. “With your help I’m going to cause him every little bit of the pain he put me through. Before I finally end his life after making him beg for it.” She could sense his thoughts whirring and snorted. “Oh, you poor thing. Magnus has enchanted you so badly. His dark side...” She clicked her tongue. “Believe me, it’s there, as much as he tries to pretend that he’s better than our father or me.”

Alec didn’t seem taken aback. “I’m aware that he has demon blood in his veins. And that he’s killed people.”

Sari’s eyes flashed. The agony that filled her heart even after all the years passed... It was unbearable. “Yes, he’s killed people.” She lifted her chin to hide how badly she was hurting. “I tried living topside, once, a couple of centuries ago. Because I met a man who made me feel all the things I can tell you feel for Magnus. He had a young daughter with his late wife and I loved her as if she was my own. We got two years together. Then Magnus found us.” When she closed her eyes, she could still see it. The small house exploding right before her eyes, her own howl of anguish, her so-called brother portaling away. Oh, how she wished that she was inside that house, too, like Magnus imagined she was. “His purpose was to kill me. Instead he took away everything I considered worth living for.” Sari had to pause for a while. “I returned here after that. Where else was I supposed to go?” She opened her eyes and half-glared at the Nephilim in front of him. It infuriated her how she couldn’t read his emotions. “Do you know why you’ve never ran into Magnus’ siblings before? We’re the last two left. Because our father has always encouraged us to fight each other to find out which ones of us are worth his time. And when you fight in Edom...” She shrugged. “You fight until death.”

Alec was quiet for a moment. A small hiss of pain could be heard when the man fought his way to a proper sitting position. “And that’s what you want to do with Magnus? Fight until death?”

“Yes.” Sari would’ve touched the other’s pretty face but had a sneaking suspicion that he would’ve bitten off a finger. “But don’t worry, you won’t have to see it. You’ll be dead by then. Until then you can ask yourself whether he’s actually worth dying for.”

Alec’s glare hardened into something chilling. She’d turned to leave when he hissed out. “Magnus would never kill a child. Wouldn’t have even during the darkest days of his past.” The man’s intense gaze beckoned her to consider his words. “Ask yourself this. Who would benefit from you losing those you love? Whose arms did you run to?”

Sari froze. And no matter how much she told herself to not fall for his tricks... She couldn’t help but wonder...

“You have quite the mouth on you.” Asmodeus approached them with a deceitful pleasant smile on his face. (He always looked like that before doing something awful.) “My so will be here soon and there are things I don’t want you telling him. So why don’t we seal those loose lips of yours?” Asmodeus snapped his fingers the exact moment Alec opened his mouth. Even the slightest bit of sound didn’t come out. Panic and helpless fury lit up in the alpha’s eyes.

Sari paid no attention to the young man anymore. She followed her father, something darker than her demon blood boiling under her skin. “Ilya and Valentina... Were you the one who killed them?” It sounded so impossible but... “I saw Magnus...”

To her shock Asmodeus didn’t even try to deny it. He shrugged. “You were a foolish child, you saw what I wanted you to. You needed to be taught a lesson and you came out of it stronger.” He sounded so dismissive...! “Love isn’t meant for the likes of us.”

Asmodeus didn’t understand love. He understood grief even less. So how was he supposed to comprehend that both emotions could survive for centuries. And be overwhelming in their force.

“Yes.” Sari was mindful to keep her tone flat. “I’ve learned my lesson.”

/

Magnus attempted to eat but it came back up almost immediately, stress not welcoming anything into his knotted stomach. He tried to sleep but all his dreams were of Asmodeus torturing Alec. He was going out of his mind from the seemingly endless waiting.

He was distracted from his misery by a very welcomed video call. Maryse looked like she’d been crying and hadn’t slept well but nonetheless smiled at him. “ _Isabelle called and said that you could use some cheering up. I think I have the best girl for that job._ ”

Maryse turned her phone. To reveal Adira, whose whole being lit up from joy at the sight of him. “ _Papa! Papa’s here! Papa!_ ” she squealed and reached out for the phone. Disappointment made her whine when she couldn’t touch him.

“I’m right here”, Magnus reassured his daughter. “I’m sorry that I can’t give you one of my special hugs, but... I’ll hold you soon. I promise.” He hoped, with his all, that he didn’t just give an empty promise.

Adira was far too young to understand fully but at least his voice helped her calm down a little. Her gaze searched for something and soon a single word pierced his heart with the viciousness of a blade. “ _Daddy?_ ”

Fortunately Maryse interfered before he would’ve lost control. “ _Adi, sweetheart, we talked about this, remember? Daddy isn’t home right now._ ” The woman winced apologetically. “ _Magnus, I’m sorry...!_ ”

Magnus shook his head. “Don’t be.” He swallowed and clenched his jaw. “Maryse... I’m the one who is sorry that I brought all this mess, especially Asmodeus, into Alec’s life.” He went on before she could interrupt him. “I’m going to find a way. And I’m going to get him back. We have two children to raise together.”

Maryse chuckled and sniffled. “ _That you do._ ” She sniffled again. “ _Magnus, you have to know that you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to Alec._ ”

Magnus wasn’t so sure he believed her but nodded anyway. They said their byes, and doing the same with Adira was a thousand times harder. Especially because she started to cry immediately upon realizing that the call would be over soon. Once his phone’s screen went dark Magnus didn’t have a lot of time to dwell in misery. Because he heard a much too familiar voice.

‘ _Those were some bold words. Will you actually live by them and come to collect him? I’m not sure how long he can handle your absence._ ’

“Get out of my head”, Magnus growled.

‘ _This bond you have with your pet... It opens some interesting possibilities, such as talking like this. And I don’t think you want me to cut the connection just yet..._ ’

‘ _Magnus...!_ ’ Alec’s voice... It was so small and frail. But real nonetheless. ‘ _Magnus, don’t...!_ ’

‘ _Haven’t you learned by now that he always does everything against what he’s been told? Ordering him around is the surest way to make him go against your wishes. Or am I mistaken?_ ’

Magnus couldn’t deny that. Nor did he dignify Asmodeus with an answer. “You know that I don’t have enough magic to make my way there.”

‘ _I can help you with that. On one condition._ ’ Asmodeus held a taunting pause. ‘ _If you say the magic words._ ’

Magnus almost threw up again. Instead he squeezed out the words he’d sworn to himself he’d never say. “Please, father, let me come home.”

In his head Asmodeus laughed without any warmth to it. ‘ _Good boy._ ’ A sudden sting at his side made him hiss. Lifting the hem of his shirt, he saw a rune-like mark appear. ‘ _Didn’t I tell you, your bond opens new possibilities. This is the only way magic can switch to a different host without us being in the same place. Now continue to be a good boy and embrace what’s your birthright._ ’

While Asmodeus worked busily so did Magnus. He used what energy he still had and cast a spell on his wedding ring. The Greater Demon would pour Edom’s darkness into him with the additional magic. He had to shield his heart and soul against it. As long as he’d have the ring and Alec’s love he wouldn’t succumb to any amount of evil force.

Seconds later Magnus bit his teeth together when power rushed into his body. It was dark but familiar, made his still severely depleted magic sing in greeting. For a few moments he breathed to become familiar with his renewed strength. Then he lifted his hand and snapped his fingers experimentally. Red sparks rose for a victory dance. Magnus smiled, cat eyes on display.

He’d swallow the bait Alec was used as and humor his so-called father. He’d dig out what the man actually wanted from him. Then he’d show Asmodeus why he chose a name which meant Great Destruction.

Asmodeus imagined that he was still the scared and gullible little boy, one starving for affection and acceptance, the demon found centuries ago. That was his first mistake. Asmodeus still imagined that emotions were weakness. That was his second mistake. (Alec had taught Magnus differently like no one else.) Asmodeus harmed those most precious to him, his mate and unborn child. That was his final mistake.

As soon as Alec would be out of harm’s way Asmodeus would pay for his mistakes with his life – with the aid of power borrowed from the Prince of Hell himself.

“ _Magnus!_ ” Jace sounded frantic behind the door. “ _What are you doing?_ ”

Magnus lifted his chin. Oh, yes. His full strength coursed through his veins, right under his skin, tingled and celebrated. In his belly his son moved around wildly, very clearly excited. “I’m getting my husband back home.”

Opening a portal was easy when he was recharged and motivated. The flames... They burned hellishly on his way down. Magnus didn’t scream from the pain, he roared a battle cry.

/

In Edom Alec moaned and grimaced as a response to his omega’s pain. A satisfied gleam lit up in Asmodeus’ eyes. “Do you feel that, Nephilim? He’s coming for you.”

Alec hoped that his glare spoke all the words he wasn’t allowed to say.

Asmodeus looked at him like he just said something funny. “This place... Do you have any idea how strong it’ll make Magnus? How dark and intoxicating that new power is? That’s why he’s stayed away so long and so vehemently. Because deep down he knows that he wouldn’t be able to fight that pull if he came.” The Prince of Hell grinned. “I recommend making yourself comfortable in those chains. Because once Magnus becomes the person he was always destined to be, in his true home... He will never want to leave again.”

/

Magnus shivered from revulsion upon making it to the other side. Edom was exactly as he’d remembered, in the worst ways. As was his destination, which he saw a small distance away. He bit his teeth together and his eyes flashed as he began to approach his father’s house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Asmodeus’ arrogance and inability to understand emotions seem to be his downfall. He’s going to get SO MUCH MORE than he bargained for with Magnus! (smirks)
> 
> Soooo... Thoughts? Comments? Was that ANY good at all? PLEASE, do let me hear from you! Comments ALWAYS make my day.
> 
> Awkay, it’s time to FINALLY go to bed. Until next time! I REALLY hope that I’ll see you all there.
> 
> Take care!


	10. It Ends with Dust and Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus is in Edom to get Alec back, whatever it takes. But first he’ll have to play Asmodeus’ game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry that I missed one updating day! This chapter includes action and I’m a little shy when it comes to my skills at writing action scenes, so editing took time. (blushes and smirks sheepishly) BUT, here we are, at last! Yay?
> 
> THANK YOU, so much, for your comments and love! You’ll never know how much it means to me that you’re out there. (HUGS)
> 
> Awkay, then. Let’s go! I REALLY hope that you’ll enjoy the ride.

Alec wasn’t sure if it was his current environment or the torture he’d been put through that got to him. No matter how hard he fought staying awake was nearly impossible. Which was frustrating, because the knowledge that his pregnant omega was coming to get him back from hell should’ve been a mighty adrenaline boost.

Alec continued to fight, though. He couldn’t afford to let himself pass out, no matter how much he was hurting. Because there was far too much at stake.

Through a great deal of blur he saw someone approaching. With how deep his and Magnus’ connection was he recognized the arrival easily. Words reached his ringing ears with difficulty.

“... your pet ...”

“... let me see what’s mine ...”

The voice sounded cold. But the golden eyes that Alec met... They were full of nothing but warmth and love. Dressed in all-black clothes that had a whisper of gold, visibly ready for a war, the warlock looked so beautiful that Alec’s heart hurt. His mind was too preoccupied by other things for him to care whether Asmodeus heard the small whines they both emitted as Magnus fell to his knees beside him.

Magnus was there. They were finally together again, even if it was under the worst of circumstances. The alpha inside Alec purred.

The things Alec would’ve given to have his hands free...! And to be able to say something, anything...! Magnus caressed his cheek and he closed his eyes while leaning to the touch with a whimper. It felt so good to feel his mate again that he didn’t know what to do with himself.

Alec’s ears were still buzzing and Magnus talked quietly. So he wasn’t sure if he heard what came next correctly. “... going to get you out of here, Alexander. Whatever it takes. I’ll take you home to Adira.”

The thought of making it home... It was so lovely that Alec had hard time keeping tears at bay. His eyes were still closed and his head was fuzzy, so he didn’t notice Magnus leaning closer until a pair of familiar, soft lips pressed again his. He gasped into the kiss before returning it as eagerly as he could in his current condition. The sensation of what was purely and simply _Magnus_ charmed him so that it took time before he noticed his husband’s magic working on him. Easing his pain, healing those of his injuries Asmodeus left him to suffer with.

How odd. His body had always reacted to Magnus’ magic happily, welcomed the feel of it. But it’d never been as intense as at that very moment. Every cell in his body rejoiced and responded. It was like there was the most pleasant kind of fire under his skin.

The earlier words, kiss and magic were for him. What Magnus said next was obviously for Asmodeus. “I’m truly sorry that I got you dragged into this mess. But fear not, my Shadowhunter. You’ll learn to love our new home.”

Alec nodded tensely because there was nothing else he could do. Whatever plan Magnus had, he hoped from the bottom of his heart that it’d work. They really needed some good luck for once.

/

Sari sensed Magnus coming moments before her brother walked into Asmodeus’ house. Seeing him now that she knew what truly happened to her loved ones... It was a conflicting experience.

There was fresh guilt, such that tasted bitter in her mouth. As well as a whole lot of rage. A tiny part of her was even happy to see the only sibling who treated her with any sort of kindness when they were kids. And then, on top of all, there was stubbornly lingering resentment. She’d blamed Magnus for the greatest tragedy of her whole life for such a long time, that hatred and her hunger for revenge kept her alive. Letting go of it wouldn’t be easy.

“Brother”, she greeted, hoping that her tone didn’t give away too much.

Magnus appeared shocked. It took some time before he managed to put it into words. “Sari...! I... He said you’re...” He trailed off.

Sari wondered just what sort of a story Asmodeus came up with to convince Magnus that she was gone. (The most likely option was claiming that she perished with her beloved. She wished she had.) Now was hardly the correct time to ask.

Asmodeus clearly agreed. The man smiled in a manner she knew better than to trust, now. “As much as I’d love to give us a chance to catch up... I’m afraid we have some work to do. Lilith isn’t going to wait idly.” He whirled around. “Sari, keep an eye on our Nephilim pet. You know how precious he is to Magnus. Magnus, why don’t you join me for a walk? We have matters to discuss.”

Sari grabbed her brother’s wrist before he could go. “I know how much of an idiot love can make us. But what are you going to do to get Alec out of here?” She could already tell that he was planning on something stupid. He always had that expression on his face when he planned on something stupid.

Magnus’ eyes hardened still. “The same thing he did for me. Absolutely everything I can.” He broke free from her hold gently and started to walk away. To pause after a few steps. “Sari...”

“I know.” Sari inhaled sharply. “Later.” They needed to talk, properly. Long and hard. She truly hoped that they’d get the chance to.

While Magnus walked out the long, black coat he wore billowed like a war flag.

/

Asmodeus watched with a scowl on his face how more and more demons flew towards Lilith’s castle. She was bracing herself for a battle. If she wouldn’t be shown her place soon, she’d show him his. “She knows that I have two of my children here and what it means.”

“She’s getting ready for a war”, Magnus mused from beside him. With little feeling in his voice. His son’s eyes were on fire, however.

Asmodeus smiled. Now that was the Prince of Hell he’d attempted to raise, ready to take his place. “What if we don’t give her a chance to fight? You, Sari and me... Together the three of us are strong enough to destroy her. We can control the entire demonic plane.”

Magnus’ attention turned to him. (For the first time ever Asmodeus wasn’t able to tell what his son was thinking. It unnerved him far more than he would’ve liked.) “Is that why you lured me here? So that I’ll help you stop her?”

Asmodeus lifted his chin and glared at Magnus in a manner that always made his boy tremble from fear when the warlock was still a child. “I wanted you here because you are my chosen son. We will take over our world together. And once we have, I will reign as king with you as a prince by my side.” He tilted his head and used a tone that’d fooled Magnus numerous times in the past. “To have my children by my side... Isn’t that what any parent wants?”

Magnus hummed softly. The younger man’s face remained unreadable. “True”, Magnus conceded at last.

They didn’t have time for further chitchat. There was a nearly deafening screech and soon another flying demon passed them by. Asmodeus smirked at the way Magnus’ muscles tensed up and eyes narrowed. “Go on”, he urged. “Use your magic. Taste the full power of Edom. Embrace your birthright.”

Magnus seemed to take his advice. Two arms rose elegantly, to be pointed ahead towards the demons rushing to their Queen. Asmodeus did the same thing and they activated their magic concurrently. Their powers merged and the red glow intensified steadily, pulsated and sizzled, ready to explode. They released it together, painting the entire sky even redder than it had been.

Their blast collided with roughly thirty demons. They howled loudly from anguish before exploding to dust. No new ones dared to approach Lilith’s castle.

Asmodeus smiled, pleasure over having experienced all that power coursing through his body. “Do you see now, Magnus? That’s how strong we can be together.”

“You make it sound like a dream come true.” Magnus took a step closer to him. “Did it ever occur to you that it might be my worst nightmare?”

Once again they activated their magic simultaneously but this time it wasn’t for friendly cooperation.

/

Magnus was fast but so was Asmodeus. They clashed viciously with their magic, spun and kept their hands in motion. Their little dance destroyed a great deal of the already miserable landscape around them and at some point there was a nasty slash of pain at Magnus’ side. He clenched his jaw through it, deciding that he’d worry about a possible injury later. Inside him his son kicked vigorously, enjoying the action.

It was disturbing how similar their fighting styles were. Not surprising, though, since Asmodeus taught Magnus most of what he knew about magic and protecting himself. They both intended to have the other on their knees with hands bound. Asmodeus almost succeeded once but thinking about Alec gave Magnus the push he needed and he bounced back up immediately. He moved behind the other man quickly enough to force the demon slightly off balance to follow his motions. Magnus used the roughly two seconds Asmodeus wasn’t attacking him openly to his advantage. A swift wave of hands and his magic pinned the Greater Demon to the ground. Asmodeus howled while the attack burned like a hundred small blades. Magnus’ eyes blazed hellfire.

To imagine that there was a time when he loved and feared the monster in front of him.

Asmodeus coughed. A few specks of blood appeared to the man’s lips. “... don’t want to do this ...”

Magnus actually laughed. It was a frost cold, threatening sound. “You almost killed my unborn child and my alpha. You tortured the man I love and made me feel it. I want to do so much worse than just kill you.” Didn’t Asmodeus tell him to embrace the dark power of Edom? He would.

Magnus sent a pulse of red and blue towards Asmodeus’ forehead. The shriek that came from the man was nothing human while all the pain Magnus sensed him put Alec through tormented him. Over and over again, in seconds long merciless bouts.

Magnus waited with the patience of a cat playing with a mouse it was going to kill. Once Asmodeus had screamed himself hoarse he decided that it was time for the next move. “You have attempted to ruin my life for the last time, father. You’ve hurt those I love for the last time.”

/

Alec’s heart raced from fear for Magnus. He saw and heard the demons, too, of course. Along with the blast that destroyed them. It was terrifying in its force. What came next was worse. Red painted the sky once more. The force with which it was all released made the ground shake.

Alec struggled and writhed to break free from his shackles. What in the world was going on? Was Magnus alright? That he couldn’t feel his mate because of whatever Asmodeus did made things even worse.

As the ground shook Sari stepped out of her father’s house with a frown. She arched an eyebrow at the look he was giving her. “You have something to say, don’t you?” She snapped her fingers and it was like someone had removed a bag that’d been pulled over his head. “Fine, speak. But don’t make me regret my generosity.”

Alec didn’t waste a second. His voice came out hoarse from disuse but not weak. “You and Magnus... You want to kill Asmodeus.”

Sari rolled her eyes. (Yes, she was definitely Magnus’ sister.) “Well, aren’t you a smart one.”

Alec clenched his jaw. Magnus didn’t have time for this...! “You can’t kill him”, he half ordered, half pleaded through his teeth. The last thing he wanted was to leave the Greater Demon alive but... “When Asmodeus saved Magnus... He tied his lifeforce to him’. To ensure that if his son would ever betray him, he’d die with him.” It’d be the ultimate failure at a loyalty test. Alec was terrified that his husband would fall for it.

Sari stared at him, clearly wondering if he was serious. When she realized that he was she swore loudly under her breath. “I can’t believe this...!” With that she started to run.

“Hey!” Alec snarled. He pulled at his chains, the burning under his skin he experienced while kissing Magnus growing stronger. “Let me loose!”

“Stay”, Sari ordered. With the authority of a true princess. “Your skills are worth nothing here. You’d be in the way and probably get yourself killed.” She shrugged at his surprise. “Magnus isn’t the only one in our family with appreciation for pretty things.” She’d vanished before he could process those words.

Not that Alec would’ve spared a lot of thought work on how cryptic warlocks tended to be. He yanked at the shackles yet again and his frustrated fury escalated to a point where his blood boiled. Caught fire.

He thought about the way Magnus’ eyes shone when they first met. He thought about the feel of the omega inside him. Of how Magnus’ mouth tasted.

/ _“I love you.”_ /

The power inside Alec exploded. To his astonishment he realized that the furious, red cloud which erupted was angry magic. It obliterated the chains confining him and most of the building around him. He stared at his suddenly free hands and the sparks still surrounding them in marvel.

So... He had magic, now? Asmodeus did mention that Edom would strengthen his bond with Magnus. At least the demon didn’t lie about one thing. (Didn’t anticipate _this_ and use magic restraining cuffs, though.)

Alec would have time to mull over that later. Gritting his teeth, he pushed himself up and hated how unsteady his feet were. He almost slumped back down until there was a new violent burst of power outside, followed by a second miniature earthquake. Running on fumes, stubbornness and adrenaline, Alec sprinted forward, his mind chanting a single word desperately.

_Please...!_

Making it to the scene took infuriatingly long with how stiff and achy his body still was. By the time he got there red, black and dark brown dust floated in the air. Asmodeus was on the ground, with blood stains on his face but alive. And Magnus... Alec had never seen that chilling expression on his husband’s face before. But he could tell that the warlock was preparing himself for an attack.

Fear, the kind that filled him with cold even in literal hell, surged through Alec. His eyes widened. “MAGNUS, DON’T...!” He was too late.

Magic, a blindingly bright combination of orange and red, erupted. Alec was forced to look away. When he turned his gaze back even more dust floated and Asmodeus was still down, head turned away from him. It was impossible to tell if the man was dead or alive. All of Alec’s attention was fixed on Magnus while his heart raced. His mind had the time to chant ‘please’ twice more before his omega fell to the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (takes a deep breath) That... was kind of intense. Phew! Oh man... Let’s hope that our babies make it back home safely.
> 
> Sooooo... How was that? Was the action okay? PLEASE, do let me hear from you! Comments ALWAYS brighten my days.
> 
> ALSO... Do you want Alec having magic to be a temporary or permanent thing?
> 
> Until next time! I REALLY hope that I’ll see you all there.
> 
> Take care!


	11. To Ashes and Void

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The battle concludes. Will Alec and Magnus make it out of Edom?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yuuuup. That’s right. I’m back with another chapter. (grins)
> 
> THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart, for your comments, love and support! You have no idea how good it feel to have you supporting me. (HUGS)
> 
> Awkay, then. Let’s go! I REALLY hope that you’ll enjoy the ride.

Fear… It paralyzed Alec for an endless moment. He stood there staring at Magnus’ unmoving form like watching long enough would make the sight change.

Then the slightest twitch had Alec running so fast that he almost tripped on his own feet.

Right beside Magnus Alec finally let himself fall down. His hand trembled while he lay it against his husband’s cheek. The skin was soft and warm from life. Tears of relief appeared to Alec’s eyes when he caught the small, panting breaths. “Magnus...!” was all he managed to choke out. _Wake up, open your eyes, come back to me, please...!_

Reacting to his voice, touch and plea, Magnus emitted a tiny, grumpy sound. The tiniest bit of movement that led to the omega leaning to his touch... It was definitely among the best things Alec had ever felt in his life. It was fortunate that he was sitting down because otherwise his knees would’ve buckled.

And then Magnus’ eyes opened. Barely even a crack but they were aware and after a moment of confusion locked with his eagerly. “... ‘xander.” Magnus was obviously as anxious to hold him as he was to embrace the warlock, because the man struggled to sit up.

Alec reacted faster. Gentle and demanding at the same time, he gathered Magnus to his arms and pulled his husband as close to him as humanly possible. His mate clung to him every bit as tightly and their scents mingled. Like they were bonding officially all over again.

It all crashed down on Alec at once. Magnus almost dying... Agreeing on a deal he was sure would kill him to save Magnus... Ending up to Edom and the torture... Well, nothing was worse torture than feeling Magnus fading away in his arms, with their son inside him.

Alec didn’t notice the tears running down his cheeks or the way his entire body was shaking. He did notice how his newly discovered magic reacted. Dust formed a whirlpool around them while all the stress that’d been tearing him apart for far too long became unleashed. He squeezed his eyes tightly shut and leaned his head against Magnus’ shoulder. The other gasped in astonishment upon discovering what he was able to do.

Alec was too overwhelmed to even notice. The words bursting out of his mouth were likely incomprehensible. “Asmodeus said that if he dies, you die, too... took away my voice, so I couldn’t warn you... Magnus, I thought...!” He couldn’t bring himself to utter the rest out loud.

Magnus’ hold on him tightened. It helped them both feel more steady and secure. “As did I”, the man admitted barely audibly. “When he took you here... And tortured you... I thought I’d never see you again.” The omega sniffled and nuzzled his nose against his neck to comfort them both. “But... You’re here. So am I. We didn’t lose each other.”

Alec gasped and realized belatedly that he was also sobbing. “... love you.” He needed to say it after being so sure that he’d never get to tell Magnus again. “I love you, I love you so much.”

Magnus cupped his face with both hands and kissed him in a way that spoke far louder than any words. It continued for a long time but still ended too soon. The older man leaned his forehead against his. “I love you, too”, Magnus breathed. “My brave, magical, self-sacrificing fool of a husband. My alpha.” The pleasant emotional weight of those words was palpable. Magnus gave him a moment. “I know that the power inside you... It’s hard to control, I struggled for a long time. But I need you to calm down, love. Anchor your mind on me.”

Alec did as he’d been told. It took frustratingly long but eventually, with the aid of his mate’s grounding presence, his hard work started to pay off. His heart didn’t calm down fully but it filled with warmth and settled down. (How could it not when he had two of the three pieces of his world in his arms?) The raging, chaotic magic eased to an almost pleasant background buzz. (Was that the tingle under his skin Magnus sometimes talked about?) Edom’s dust floated softly to the ground.

Magnus caressed him gently. “Good. You’re doing wonderfully.”

Alec’s process of soothing himself was distracted when his hand slipped, touching Magnus’ side. The ensuing groan made him stiffen. “Magnus?” Eyes frantic and a heat rising inside him once more, he checked his husband. His stomach knotted when he noticed the large, ugly burn mark Asmodeus’ attack left behind. This nightmare just refused to end...!

“Hey.” Magnus’ voice managed to snap him back into some level of focus. The man’s eyes were warm and firm at the same time, exhausted and a little pained but clear of haze. “It’s only superficial, looks worse than it is. I’m fine.”

Alec had heard that reassurance far too many times to trust it blindly. This time he was actually able to do something to help. “I’ll try to heal you. You have to tell me if I’m making it worse, okay?”

Magnus nodded and shifted slightly to grant him an easier access to doing what he needed to do. “But let me help you. You can’t possibly expect yourself to be fluent at something as complex as healing immediately.”

Alec was more than happy to let Magnus take and guide his hand to the injury. (The attack hit far too close to where their baby was kicking to either of their liking.) They concentrated on the sensation of each other and the magic. Then, under Magnus’ wordless guidance, Alec got to work.

It took a few seconds before anything happened. But then, at last, a soft, blue glow appeared. It pulsated like a heartbeat and grew. The sheer power of it, there in his hands... It was baffling. After some nudging from them both the glow settled around Magnus’ side and began to work on healing the singed skin. Soon there was nothing but smooth, soft, healthy tissue left.

Alec gasped. Because, that was...! He was a Shadowhunter and he just...! “That... That was...!”

“Quite amazing, wasn’t it?” Magnus smiled fondly at his almost childlike excitement. “I know that it’s probably... strange for a Shadowhunter to possess something like that. But you using your powers looks so right.” The warlock winked. “And very sexy.”

Alec stared, then grinned. How was he not supposed to not feel a little smug? “Unbelievable... Are you flirting with me? While we’re literally in hell?”

“Are you complaining?” Magnus countered.

“No.” Alec watched his hands. Some blue sparks still danced around them. “Do you think this is a... permanent thing?”

“I don’t know”, Magnus admitted. “Edom... It strengthens our bond and magic. We’ll have to wait and see what happens when we make it back to topside.”

Alec nodded, for once at peace with the unknown.

“Sorry to interrupt you reconnecting.” Sari’s voice caught them both by surprise. If she noticed Alec’s protective growl, she didn’t let it show. “But there’s something we kind of have to take care of.”

She was pointing towards Asmodeus. And it wasn’t until Alec remembered that indeed, they still had a problem to sort out. He glared at the motionless Greater Demon. “We can’t slaughter him. So what are we going to do to him?”

/

Magnus also glared at his father. At the man who’d been so many different things to him over the course of his long life. A savior. A monster. A teacher. A tormentor.

A tiny part of him still felt some pathetic, sick form of sadness over the monster’s fate. But mostly... Mostly he wanted to tear the man to shreds for what his family had been put through. Unfortunately that wasn’t possible so they needed a more creative solution. Magnus tilted his head. There was no need to worry about Asmodeus waking up, the demon was dying. And unconscious. “There’s this thing about portals. If you enter one unconscious you get lost into a limbo forever.” Asmodeus would never wake up, die or come after him again. Would never hurt anyone again.

As a response Sari opened a portal. “Great. Then let’s handle the trash.”

Magnus held up a hand. “Wait. I need to do something first.” Approaching Asmodeus definitely wasn’t among his favorite things but he had to ensure something. His eyes were ice cold while he made his way to the barely breathing man.

If he could’ve he would’ve taken away Asmodeus’ magic by force. It would’ve been a just punishment. Unfortunately it couldn’t be done without the demon’s consent so he’d have to content himself with the next best thing.

It took some searching. But then he found it. The very lock of Asmodeus’ powers that kept him from feeling Alec properly. One that might become permanent if it wasn’t taken care of before the Greater Demon would be sent to a limbo. Fury flowing through him, Magnus grabbed the blockage. With all the force of his love. And shattered it.

Alec’s moan of pleasure gave away the very second there was nothing clouding their bond. Magnus reacted in the exact same way, his heart singing from contentment. They exchanged a look and smiled.

They’d made their way back to each other again, properly.

Sensing how close to death Asmodeus was, Magnus forced himself to focus on their current task. He turned his gaze to find Sari’s impatient one. “Alright. Let’s do it.”

They both wanted their share of the deed so they did it together. Their combined magic picked up the unconscious man. Then tossed him into the portal and closed it.

Once they were done Magnus gasped and clenched his jaw. “Goodbye, father.” Alec’s hand on his back helped him process the more conflicting emotions fighting over room inside him.

“This world and the one up above are better places without you”, Sari hissed, her eyes narrowed.

Alec wrapped his arms around him. Their bond, now fully free once more, was loaded with relief. “Let’s go home. Let’s go back to our daughter. I want you and our son out of here.”

Magnus opened his mouth for a wholehearted agreement. Only to notice that they still didn’t get to stand down. Because Lilith sensed that Asmodeus was no longer a threat and didn’t seem to plan on wasting time before making her move. Even if she hadn’t received even nearly as many demons as she would’ve liked for backup.

Alec took a protective step closer to him. “Are we strong enough to take her on? The three of us?” Seeing the warlocks’ questioning looks, the Shadowhunter shrugged. “I have magic, now. And I’m going to use it to protect my mate and child.” That tone of voice made beyond clear that Alec wouldn’t accept arguments.

Magnus did his best to not command his alpha to stand back, to stay safe. He would’ve wasted his breath. “Let me guide you. If you want to be a part of this you have to let me help you. The kind of power you have now... Losing control over it may lead to a disaster.”

Alec didn’t seem worried, instead grabbed his hand. There was nothing but love and determination in the taller man’s eyes. “We can do this, together. I trust you.” Despite how strong their relationship was hearing those words was a special kind of a thrill.

Once their fingers were tangled together securely Magnus and Sari exchanged a look. Even when they lived together in Edom Asmodeus made them fight each other rather than encouraged cooperation. (Perhaps the Prince of Hell realized already then how dangerous things might get for him if they woke up from the manipulation and turned on him.) But now... Now, for the first time in literally centuries, they were on the same page. Had a common goal. So they joined hands and the three of them braced themselves while Lilith approached quickly, screeching as she charged.

The amount of power they managed to gather together... It was phenomenal. And due to the stunt Magnus and Asmodeus pulled together earlier Lilith wasn’t actually at her full strength. She was no match against them.

The blast hit Lilith mercilessly. She froze in the air, screaming from agony and rage. For a few seconds they dreaded that the attack didn’t work, after all. Until the Queen of Edom began to... well, fall apart. Literally. A light that wasn’t hers lit up inside her, spreading rapidly until it consumed her. Once it was everywhere it gained more spark and lit up to a full flame. The explosion was so bright that they had to look away. When they looked back again what little was left of Lilith rained down in ashes.

It was over – it was time to go home.

/

As much as the friends and family of Alec and Magnus would’ve wanted to just barge into Edom to reclaim them it wasn’t possible. Asmodeus had Alec under his mercy and would definitely take the intrusion out on the young archer. The Shadowhunter part of their gang also wouldn’t survive in Edom and so far they hadn’t found a way to change that. Ragnor was a calm, patient man. But all the stress and emotional turmoil... It was starting to get to him. Snapping closed another useless book, he itched to tear something to pieces with his powers.

Catarina noticed his state of mind. She lay a supportive hand on his shoulder. “We’ll get him back. We’ll get both of them back. We’ll find a way.”

“What if we don’t?” Even the thought sickened Ragnor but it had to be uttered out loud. “What if...?” He never had to finish.

Because just then they both heard the sound of a portal opening. If they were anywhere but inside the protection of Magnus’ wards, they would’ve worried that someone was attacking. As it was they dashed into the loft’s living room. Along with Jace, Clary, Izzy, Simon, Max, Raphael and Robert, who’d joined their efforts.

The first person leaping through the portal was a young-looking woman they didn’t recognize. Nor did they pay much attention to her due to those who followed. Magnus and Alec... were a mess. Covered in dust, traces of healed injuries and drained. It seemed that they wouldn’t have been able to stand if they didn’t lean on each other. Nonetheless Magnus flashed them a disarming, triumphant smile. “Didn’t I tell you that I’d get him back. Did you miss us?”

With those words the men didn’t have enough strength to stand any longer. But that was alright. There were plenty of loved ones around to catch and embrace them.

To welcome them home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That’s right, folks. They’re home! (BEAMS, and sniffles) Did you like their departure? And oooh, we’ll see what happens with Alec’s magic.
> 
> Was that any good, at all? PLEASE, do let me hear from you! Comments always brighten my days.
> 
> Until next time! I REALLY hope that you’ll all join in for that one.
> 
> Take care!


	12. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec and Magnus enjoy being back home. And receive a lot of hugs from those who have been worried sick about them. The most precious embraces come from Adira.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m SO SORRY that I haven’t updated in a while! But now I’m FINALLY back. Are you guys still there...?
> 
> THANK YOU, so much, for your comments, love and support. It’s thanks to you I found the spark to bring this back. (HUGS)
> 
> Awkay, then. Let’s go! I REALLY hope that you’ll enjoy the ride.

Alec had no idea how long he slept. For once the rest came completely without dreams. When consciousness began to rush back he didn’t open his eyes immediately. Because he didn’t dare to trust that what his senses reported.

That he was home, with Magnus pressed against him.

Then soft fingers brushed a strand of hair from his forehead and he couldn’t resist the temptation anymore. After taking a deep breath, which overwhelmed his mind with his mate’s familiar scent, he opened his eyes halfway. To meet a pair of golden ones he loved so very dearly. “Is this real?” he murmured in what was barely a whisper.

Magnus nodded despite appearing as baffled as he felt. The hand that brushed him earlier was laid against his cheek fully. They both needed the grounding contact. “Yes. This is real.”

Alec already had a breakdown in Edom. But that moment, the slowly solidifying realization that they were actually both still there... It struck him breathless, in the best way. He gasped and pulled Magnus as close as humanly possible. The warlock held on to him as tightly. And that was how they stayed for the longest time, basking in each other’s body heat.

Alec could’ve very easily fallen asleep again. (When was the previous time he got the chance to rest properly?) If it wasn’t for Magnus barely audible, disbelieving voice. “I can’t believe you went to Edom for me.”

Alec snorted and met his husband’s genuinely bewildered gaze. “Magnus, you were...” He couldn’t say the word. “I was losing you. I would’ve been willing to do much more than just go to hell to save you.” The sincerity behind those words was loud and clear. He poked at his beloved’s nose tenderly with one finger. “And you did the same thing for me, remember?”

Magnus sneezed and pouted in a manner that did funny things to Alec. Then studied his eyes, still disbelieving. “I just... I can’t believe that someone would do that for me.”

Alec shrugged. “Well, get used to it. Because there’s absolutely nothing I wouldn’t do for you.” While one of his hands caressed Magnus’ adorably unruly hair the other was pressed against his mate’s bump. Almost immediately he received a tap of greeting from their son. “And for our babies.”

Magnus kissed his forehead and somehow that simple gesture was more intimate than any lovemaking. The man’s lips were only a breath away from his skin as they whispered. “In that case... Get used to knowing that wherever you go, whatever foolish things you do for us... I will always come after you to take you back home. Always.” The omega nuzzled his neck with his nose. “I spent hundreds of years waiting for you, Alexander. I’m not letting you go.”

Alec held on tight, the kind of a smile he was once incapable of producing appearing to his lips. He didn’t know how to respond to that devotion. How to comprehend that it was all for him, that someone considered him so special.

Apparently some part of him knew exactly what to do. Magnus’ gasp almost alarmed him until the man spoke. “How about that...!” They watched in marvel how a soft, hue like glow of blue magic cocooned them both. It didn’t come from Magnus, but from him.

There were many Shadowhunters who would’ve been horrified and appalled to have magic coursing through them. Alec knew this magic as well as the hard-trained muscles of his body and was merely curious. “So it wasn’t just an Edom thing.”

“Hmm.” Magnus mused for a long time, possibly gave him time to think. “How would you feel if it turned out to be a permanent thing?” the man inquired cautiously.

Alec shrugged. Of course he understood where the other’s insecurity came from. “It’d take some getting used to. And I’d need a lot of lessons to learn how to control it. But...” They looked at each other. “It’s a part of you. It feels like you. And it’d help me protect those I love. Having it for good would be amazing.”

This time Magnus kissed his lips. Languidly, until they were both out of breath. After that they just lay tangled together, breathing each other in. Both eager to... _go further_ but still too tired for it.

“We should, ah... get up.” Magnus sighed. “This loft is likely full of people wanting to see us. And I really need to hold Adira.” The omega’s voice wavered slightly from longing for their child.

Alec nodded. “In a minute.” After all the time they’d been together he didn’t blush upon continuing. “First I need a shower, alone. There’s... a problem I have to take care of.”

Magnus giggled and after coming far too close to never hearing it again the sound almost moved Alec to tears.

/

Just like Magnus had known to expect, their living room was full of people by the time they finally emerged. Jace was the first to greet them, with a grin that almost disguised how terrified the blond had been. “About time to wake up! You slept for sixteen hours.”

That... actually wasn’t a surprise. Magnus scanned through the group gathering around them with his gaze. He wasn’t sure whether to be disappointed, relieved or worried when he didn’t catch a trace of Sari. “That woman who came with us... Where is she?”

“She left. Said that she needed some space and that you’d know where to find her.” Simon frowned. “Is she really your sister?”

Magnus tensed up. Catarina saved him from having to answer. “Let’s save story time for later. Right now you two owe us a lot of hugs.”

“True!” Izzy agreed. “Do you have any idea how worried we’ve been for you?” By then she was already embracing Alec tightly.

“We’re okay now, you know?” Alec chuckled breathlessly but his hold on her was so tight that his knuckles turned white.

“I’ll let you go when I know for sure”, Izzy decided.

Magnus would’ve kept watching but suddenly Clary practically threw herself at him with a stunning amount of force and determination. Catarina wasn’t far behind and no words were necessary as they clung to each other. Same with Ragnor. The three of them had been each other’s rocks for so long. This... This came far too close. Magnus was more surprised than he should’ve been when Raphael rolled his eyes before also embracing him. Oh, how far the vampire had come from the angry, self-destructive boy he once found...!

Exactly two steps away Izzy finally let go of Alec, making room for Jace. Magnus didn’t know what the parabatais whispered to each other. The looks on their faces spoke even more clearly. Magnus could only imagine how awful sensing all Alec’s torment, emotional and physical alike, had been to Jace. The blond shone from joy over having his brother back.

Max also ensured that he got the chance to hug them both. The teenager was the first one bold enough to touch Magnus’ bump and grinned when the baby kicked as a response. The intrusive hand withdrew quickly at Alec’s growl and Magnus bit his lip to not laugh at his alpha’s overprotective tendencies. (He couldn’t exactly fault Alec’s protective instincts for going haywire, all things considered...)

They were actually home. With friends and family surrounding them. They were still alive and together. With some vindictiveness Magnus hoped that in the eternal limbo Asmodeus knew that he lost.

“Simon, take a step closer to Magnus without asking for his permission and I swear...!”

“Sorry, sorry!”

/

Adira did her best to stay strong and brave. But she was just a little girl and missed her parents terribly. As much as she loved her grandma she wanted to go home, to her daddy and papa. She couldn’t understand why she wasn’t allowed to go home.

Adira wasn’t able to really sleep. Every time she tried to, she dreamed of her parents and was even sadder upon waking up to discover that they weren’t back, after all. It got so bad that eventually she was crying and screaming hysterically in her grandma’s arms.

She did need her rest, though. And eventually she dozed off. To start returning to the waken world with familiar voices whispering around her.

“... so happy you made it back ...”

“... shh, you’ll wake her ...!”

“Too late for that, I’m afraid.” Recognizing that voice made her heart thud hopefully. In a rush to wake up properly she blinked several times and yawned. The first thing she met was a smile she last saw what felt like a very long time ago. “Oh, sweetheart, daddy and papa missed you so much.”

Adira stared in disbelief, breathing hard. Then clung to the man carrying her with all her might. “Papa! Papa, papa!” She sniffled and nuzzled her entire face against him. “I missed you, papa, I missed you.”

Her papa kissed her head. “I’m sorry that we had to go away. And I’m so sorry that you had to be so scared. But we’re all back home, now.”

With the kind of hope only small children are capable of, Adira lifted her head. The smile on her face widened still when she saw her daddy, standing right next to her papa. The smile fell, though, when a certain possibility came to her mind. “No dream this time?”

Both her parents shook their heads. She was much too young to understand why they looked so sad, or to recognize that the second, equally strong emotion was guilt. “Not a dream, I promise”, her daddy swore. His voice sounded strange.

Her papa held her tighter, in such a way that she couldn’t see his face anymore. “Let’s all get some sleep, now. And just this once you can sleep with us. When we wake up tomorrow, we can have waffles for breakfast.”

“Waffles!” Adira squealed.

Quite soon all three of them were snuggled under the covers, huddled as close together as possible. Adira wasn’t quite ready to nod off yet. She pressed her head and a hand against her papa’s bump. Gently, just like she’d been taught to. “G’night, baby.” Her eyes widened when she felt the kind of jolts she didn’t remember her brother performing before. She looked at her parents questioningly.

Her papa smiled. “He’s having hiccups. He’s had a little too much excitement lately.” She was focused on the bump and her eyes were slipping closed, so she didn’t see the worry on his face. She was too tired to give it a glance but sensed the nightlight her papa created for them. She closed her eyes fully to its soothing, blue glow. “Goodnight, Adira. Have sweet dreams.”

“... never leave again ...”, she murmured, the tears of joy and relief she shed earlier drying to her face.

“We’ll do everything we can so we never have to”, her daddy promised, and it lulled her to sleep.

/

Catarina’s magical inspection deemed both Alec and Magnus healthy, if not drained, malnourished and mildly banged up. Alec’s new, possibly temporary magic also didn’t seem to be doing him any harm. Mia was in the middle of an emergency but promised hurriedly to stop by the following day to ensure that the little one inside Magnus was also doing alright. At the moment what the pair needed the most was rest and peace.

Catarina, for her part, needed answers. Coming to the conclusion that she couldn’t do more for the men, she headed towards Saoirse’s store and home. The woman had been something of a friend to her for a long time and her heart ached for what she’d have to do. But Saoirse was also the one who gave Magnus the potion that nearly killed him. She needed a chance to ask ‘why’.

Only, when Catarina entered the store she froze. Because instead of Saoirse she found Lydia and several other Shadowhunters. She frowned, taken aback despite knowing that she wasn’t under a threat. “What’s... going on here?”

“Are you friends with the people who live here?” Frustration and sympathy appeared to Lydia’s eyes after her nod. The Shadowhunter waited until no one was listening in before continuing. “I shouldn’t be telling you this, but... After his arrest Aldertree revealed what he’d been blackmailing Saoirse with.” Lydia paused when another Nephilim looked their way. “Her husband, Cillian... During the wars he was a part of a small but aggressive warlock resistance. He arranged an attack that was supposed to destroy a Shadowhunter camp but... Things went wrong, and instead five children lost their lives.”

Catarina blanched. All these years and she’d had no idea...! “By the angel...!”

“Valentine caught Cillian weeks later. His purple eyes were his warlock mark. By the time you and Magnus broke him and others free they’d been removed.” Lydia sighed heavily. “Cillian moved here with his wife to recover and get as far away from his guilt as he could. Before this Saoirse was the only one who knew what he did.”

Catarina nodded very slowly, trying to stomach the horrible information. “You came to arrest him.” With his blindness and poor health Cillian wouldn’t survive in a prison.

“I would’ve had no other choice. Aldertree had solid evidence and I can’t just look away with that heavy charges”, Lydia defended herself. “Apparently they knew it, too. Or maybe the guilt became too much. They took their own lives, possibly days ago.”

/

It would’ve been tempting to take a breath of relief and relax. To believe that it was all over. But Magnus and Alec were bound to have nightmares for a very long time after everything they were put through. And the warlock couldn’t shake off the feeling that something was _wrong_. The baby inside him didn’t move enough and when he did the motions were different from before. Then Magnus noticed that he was spotting.

It was exhausting, emotionally and physically, to make it through one nightmare to wait for another to start.

Mia came to visit with a portable ultrasound device early in the afternoon following him and Alec waking up from their home. By then the baby hadn’t moved at all for hours and despite her professional front he could tell how much hearing that worried her. While Ragnor and Jace did their best to keep Adira entertained in her room the parents-to-be and Mia retreated to bedroom and closed the door.

“So...” Slowly and gently, not wanting to set off either man while they were already understandably on the edge, Mia prepared her equipment. “You two have gone to hell and back lately, literally and figuratively. Let’s see what’s going on with little one in there after all that hassle.”

Alec’s grip on Magnus’ hand was so tight that it almost hurt and he held back in an identical manner, both their palms sweaty from sheer terror.

Mia’s search took longer than it should’ve, considering how far along the pregnancy was. The expression that eventually appeared to her face stilled Magnus’ heart for several seconds and filled his veins with ice. Alec’s hand clutched even more tightly.

“Mia?” Magnus couldn’t believe that he managed to find his voice. (Or a tiny hint of it, anyway.) “What’s wrong?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, everyone together now. No more angel babies! (whimpers) Just when everything was looking so good...
> 
> Sooooo... Was that worth the wait? Any good at all? PLEASE, do let me hear from you! Comments ALWAYS mean the world to me.
> 
> Until next time! I REALLY hope that I’ll see you all there.
> 
> Take care!


	13. Too Soon, Too Much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec and Magnus try to deal with unpleasant news and the recent, traumatizing events.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was supposed to update yesterday but LIFE got in the way. (pouts) BUT, nothing’s going to stop me from updating now. (rubs hands together)
> 
> Thank you so, SO MUCH for your comments, love and support! They always warm my heart. (HUGS)
> 
> Awkay, then. Are you ready? Let’s go, and after the previous chapter’s cliffie hope for the best...!

Mia inhaled a deep breath. “I don’t want either one of you to panic too much, alright? But I’d like to examine Magnus.”

Magnus stiffened, Alec even more so. A small growl, more one of fear than anger, left the alpha. “Why?”

Mia hesitated. “The baby... isn’t quite as active as I’d like and has turned to the position for birth. I also couldn’t help noticing that your bump’s already dropped a little.” She gave them a moment to take that in. “It looks like he’s planning on an early arrival.”

Alec blanched and his hold on Magnus’ hand tightened. (The warlock had no idea how his face looked at that moment. He could barely breathe or think.) “But...” The Shadowhunter shook his head. “It’s... This is too soon!” He wasn’t even twenty-six full weeks along yet...!

Mia nodded, deep sympathy on her face. “I know. That’s why we need to check what’s actually going on and do what we can to make sure that the little one stays safely where he is for as long as possible.”

For several long, stilled moments Magnus stared at Mia in utter shock. Slowly but inevitably the situation on hand started to sink in. And it was entirely too much.

The possibility that he might lose another baby... That another precious spark of life would become an angel... His heart couldn’t take it.

He was in a state of shock while Alec whispered soft, soothing words he couldn’t comprehend. He didn’t feel embarrassed when Mia pushed his legs apart gently because his mind drifted far away. Nor did he feel her fingers inspecting a beyond delicate area.

The words that soon echoed in his head sounded like they came from another world. “... two centimeters dilated ... know that warlocks don’t typically respond well to mundane medication but in this case I’d like to try ... and rest ... wait and see ...”

Magnus wanted to scream at the top of his voice. He’d fought so, so hard – for himself, for his son, for Alec. And now this.

Fate was never going to stop trying to yank his world away from him, was it?

Alec’s distress thrummed through their bond and he didn’t manage to find the strength to comfort his absolutely terrified mate. Their son was also in a distress inside him, might enter the world far too soon, and even all his willpower wouldn’t be able to stop it. In the living room Adira started to cry. Magnus would’ve given a lot to have the energy to leave the bed to go and console her.

His family needed him. And he’d never felt so weak and useless in his life. Asmodeus’ voice echoed in his head.

/ _“Pathetic.”_ /

(Magnus had no idea of Catarina entering the room, nor did he notice how she used her magic to ensure that his mind and body were able to rest.) /

/

Alec’s heart beat desperately while his unsteady hand caressed Magnus’ hair. Even in sleep his husband looked like he was in pain. Unable to escape the awful things his mind spewed at him.

Knowing that there was nothing he could do to help Magnus or their son... It went against Alec’s very nature. Against everything he was.

He went to Edom to save two of the three pieces of his world. He was at peace with the thought of dying if it meant that those he loved didn’t. He withstood Asmodeus’ brutal torture with the comfort of knowing that his family was safe. He tried to give _his all_ and it wasn’t enough, their child might still...

What was he good for if he couldn’t even...?

“Alec.” Mia knew better than to touch him but moved her hand closer as a sign of support. “I can see how scared you are. By now I know you well enough to have a feeling that you’d react best to facts and being able to understand. Do you think you can handle me explaining how things are?” She went on after his shaky nod. “These days premature babies born as early as at twenty-six weeks have a very good survival rate. And yours has both Shadowhunter and warlock genes helping him fight even harder. We’ll fight with him, every step of the way. Starting with trying to convince him to stay inside Magnus for as long as possible.” She couldn’t make any promises because it wasn’t in her power to keep them. But actual, solid information... It did help. Provided an anchor.

Alec nodded again. He was by no means calm but a great deal of his agitation transformed to steel hard determination. He was a Shadowhunter on one of the most important missions of his life. He pulled his omega closer to his body and that simple gesture soothed both men, even if one of them was fast asleep. “I... We can’t lose him. Losing Adi’s twin...” Alec shook his head and clenched his jaw. Remembering that time was excruciating. “It almost killed Magnus. We can’t go through that again.” He’d seen, far too many times, how strong his husband was. But he knew chillingly well that Magnus wouldn’t survive another angel baby. Seeing Catarina finishing an inspection, he tensed up. “How is he?”

“His blood pressure is going down. But he needs a lot of rest. You both do.” Catarina sighed and remained as close to her dear friend as the alpha’s protective instincts allowed. “Magnus is going to hate it. But right now he and the baby need full bedrest.”

Alec nodded resolutely. Whatever would help, whatever his husband and the fragile spark of life growing inside the man needed, he’d make sure that they got it. He then looked at the two women who’d done so much for them and their children. “Thank you. For... everything.”

Despite her own worry Catarina smiled softly. “Silly Shadowhunter. Don’t you know by now that I’m always there for your family?”

/

Adira sensed that something was wrong as clearly as someone so young could. Not knowing what else to do, she asked after her parents. When she wasn’t taken to them she started crying miserably. She allowed her uncle Jace to take her to a nap but she didn’t actually fall asleep, couldn’t.

Eventually she heard her daddy’s familiar voice talking quietly and sneaked out of her room to investigate. All the other adults in the apartment but her papa were gathered to the living room and appeared far too serious. Her daddy looked like he was about to cry and that worried her more than anything else. While her uncle Jace hugged her daddy she made her way soundlessly towards the bedroom. She needed to see her papa, had to make sure that he was alright.

The room was darker than usual. Her papa lay in the bed and seemed to be asleep. Despite him being under the covers she saw that he was trembling. Was he feeling cold? “Papa?” she whispered and stepped hesitantly further into the room. Eventually she reached the bed and noticed that his eyes were closed. She was too young and scared to take into consideration that she should probably let him sleep. “Papa? You sick?” It was a big, terrifying word, especially after recent events. The last time her papa was sick it was bad, very bad, she could tell. Her anxiety increased when he didn’t react to her voice. “Papa?”

“Papa needs some sleep, sweetheart”, her daddy explained from behind her. When he took her to his arms she clung to him eagerly, desperately. The man sniffled. “Papa’s alright. But the baby, he’s... He’s thinking about coming to the world too soon. And we’re trying to convince him to stay safe in papa’s belly a little longer.” It was a small mercy that she didn’t quite comprehend how anguished her daddy was. “That’s... That’s why papa will have to rest in bed a lot for a while.”

Adira nodded slowly, trying to take it all in. She nuzzled her head against her daddy’s shoulder for comfort and he tightened his hold on her. “’we rest with?” Both her parents went missing for so long. She wanted to be as close to them as she possibly could, to ensure that they wouldn’t disappear again.

Her daddy nodded and kissed her cheek. “That’s a really good idea”, he praised. “Let’s rest with papa and the baby. So they’ll know we’re here.”

Adira was more than happy to do just that. As soon as she was laid down she snuggled close to her papa, who wrapped one arm around her in his sleep. The gesture made her smile, even as she yawned, while she pressed one palm against the swell containing her brother. “G’night, baby”, she whispered, convinced that he heard her. “Stay safe.” When her daddy lay down as well she used one hand to cling to him, too. Sandwiched securely between her parents, she fell asleep.

They made it through the scary times. The baby would, too. Adira was absolutely certain that everything would be alright.

(She was spared from having to see that her daddy cried himself to sleep, holding his whole far too fragile world in his arms and praying to the angels that he wouldn’t lose any piece of it.)

/

When Magnus woke up, slowly and with difficulty, there was a presence in the room that wasn’t his husband’s. “Alec and Adira are making breakfast. I only got him to leave your side with promising to keep watch in the meantime.” Ragnor watched him thoughtfully when he succeeded in peeling his eyes half open. “Yesterday... was a lot to take in. How are you feeling?”

Magnus tensed up. He definitely wasn’t eager to talk about _it_. “It was a scare”, he admitted. “But I’m fine.”

Ragnor’s eyes narrowed. “I’ve known you for hundreds of years, Magnus. Literally. You’ll have to do better than that with me.”

Magnus’ jawline tightened. Sometimes it was infuriating how Ragnor could see right through him. And those eyes watching him, gentle and demanding at the same time... They were a force of nature. “I was _stupid_ enough to drink something that was poisoned. As a result my alpha had to make a deal with a demon and went to literal hell, to be tortured. That deal could’ve killed him, he was willing to die for me! And I went to get him back, endangering my unborn child in the process. Now...” He trailed off and looked down, not bearing to see his friend’s gaze or the bump he failed to protect. “Now my son may come to this world too soon and it’s my fault. I couldn’t keep him safe even when he’s right there inside me. I failed my own child.” He didn’t notice the tears that appeared to his eyes.

Ragnor got up from the armchair the man had occupied to sit right beside him instead. “Magnus, this isn’t your fault.” That tone of voice was so convincing that he almost believed it. “There was no way you could’ve seen the scheme Asmodeus and Aldertree launched coming. And while I do wish you didn’t go to Edom I doubt Asmodeus would’ve waited until the baby was born. You couldn’t have, either, knowing that Alec was down there, being tortured.” Ragnor placed a supportive hand on his shoulder. “You had to save him, and you succeeded.”

“By playing Asmodeus’ sick game”, he spat.

“Well, he’s stuck in a limbo and you’re back home with your family. Which one of you do you reckon won?” Ragnor didn’t quite smile but something on the man’s face softened. “You were given impossible odds but somehow you managed to turn the game to your advantage.”

Magnus swallowed. Almost carefully, irrationally afraid that he’d do damage, he rested a hand against his stomach. It didn’t trigger the kick he craved for. “What if that victory came at the cost of his life? Ragnor, I can’t...” He shook his head, unable to finish even the thought.

“If only I could give you promises but whatever comes isn’t in either of our hands. Come what may, I’m begging you to think about Alec and Adira. You should’ve seen how lost he was, fearing that he’d lose you. You mean the whole world to them both.” Ragnor’s eyes darkened slightly. “I can see where your mind is going, my friend. Don’t let it spiral there. Don’t give Asmodeus that satisfaction in the middle of his eternal captivity.”

/

Ragnor entered the kitchen roughly half an hour later and Alec could immediately tell that the talk the warlock requested to have with Magnus wasn’t easy. The man did smile, though, faint as it was. “He agreed that he needs a therapy session here at home. For himself, and for you two together. You’ve both been through a lot lately.”

Alec nodded. The idea of sharing how he felt with a professional didn’t sit well with him but realistically he knew that couldn’t bottle up the emotional storm the ordeal left him with. He looked towards the bedroom’s closed door, aching to go in. “How is he? Really?”

Ragnor’s smile faltered. “He’s in pain. But he also knows how much he has to fight for. He’ll overcome this, we’ll make sure of it.”

Alec nodded resolutely, far more relieved than words could say that he wasn’t alone in this.

“Daddy, look!” Adira, who was too young to worry and just enjoyed having her parents back, beamed proudly. “Magic toast!” Indeed, she’d used her magic to make an egg form a smiling face.

Alec grinned. It was almost scary how much love filled his heart just then. “Amazing work!” he praised. “Papa’s going to love that.”

Adira’s smile widened.

“What happened to the omelets you were supposed to make?” Ragnor sniffed the air and clicked quickly. “Let me guess...”

Alec held up a hand. “Whatever you’re planning to say about my cooking skills, Jace and Izzy already have.” Not that those two had any room to judge...

Ragnor left shortly after to grant their family some privacy and bonding time, but not before making him swear to call if they needed anything. (The warlock stated that he didn’t trust Magnus to call, should such a need come up.) Alec and Adira made their way to the bedroom, where the girl practically dove into the bed with as much restraint as could be expected of a small child. Magnus, who appeared shaken but at least wasn’t in a state of shock anymore, welcomed her with open arms and greeted him with a tender kiss. There was no smile on the omega’s lips or in his eyes, though. Alec hoped from the bottom of his aching heart that one could be enticed soon.

They enjoyed the breakfast and being together with Adira babbling excitedly whenever her mouth wasn’t full and Magnus leaning his head against Alec’s shoulder. Having his family close helped soothe some of the horrible thoughts and traumatizing memories spinning around in the Shadowhunter’s head. At one point, while Adira tried to choose which grape in a small bowl was the best, Magnus grabbed his hand and led it to the bump. Only seconds later there was a kick, tiny but stubborn. Neither of them had dry eyes when they looked at each other.

Their little spark was still there. There was still hope. They clung to both with all their might.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our poor babies need SO MUCH recovery time! (sighs) Let’s hope that Little Prince agrees to stay inside Magnus’ tummy a little longer. It’s far too soon!
> 
> Sooo... Thoughts? Comments? PLEASE, do let me hear from you! Comments ALWAYS brighten my days.
> 
> Until next time! I REALLY hope that I’ll see you all there.
> 
> Take care!


	14. A Few Trying Weeks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Through a rough couple of weeks Alec and Magnus both struggle to cope with everything they’ve been through. Fortunately they have each other and family for support.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry about the update delay! Flu TOTALLY messed up my head and typing schedules. (winces) (Don’t worry, my Covid test just came back negative, so it’s just the seasonal ‘fun’.) BUT, here I am, with the next chapter.
> 
> THANK YOU, so, so much, for your comments, love and support! You have NO IDEA how much they mean to me. (HUGS)
> 
> Awkay, then. Let’s go and see how Malec continues to handle all the recent trauma. I REALLY hope you’ll enjoy the ride (as far as the word ‘enjoy’ can be used here...)!

Time passed by in a strange blur. Magnus slept and despite not being hungry nibbled food when Alec offered him some to avoid causing even more worry than he already had. Whenever he had to leave the bed for a bathroom break, even if it was in the middle of the night, his alpha accompanied him. Aware of when he was needed every single time. Usually such treatment would’ve embarrassed the warlock but with Alec it was quite endearing. Besides, he couldn’t exactly deny that they both felt at least remotely calm only when they were in the same room. They needed to be close to each other even if the fact that they were both emotional messes made it... challenging from time to time. Two mentally battered and bruised people attempting to heal each other didn’t come easily. Especially when one of them reacted to pain by closing up like a clam, and the other needed to lash out and sort things verbally. Over the course of two weeks they fought regrettably often and came far too close to breaking the rules they’d set for when they clashed. Those couple of weeks tested their relationship incredibly harshly.

Magnus had nightmares every single time he attempted to sleep. The ones of Asmodeus were among the kinder ones. The worst... Those were about Alec. Sometimes his alpha accused him of being a terrible mate and a terrible papa, of harming their son. (Those bad dreams Magnus could handle fairly easily. Because even at his most unreasonable and vulnerable he knew that Alec would never actually blame him like that. No matter how much Magnus blamed himself, how loudly the voice in his head snarled that his husband had every right to despise him.) The most awful dreams were those where Alec was tortured and he couldn’t get to his mate, no matter how hard he tried. His beloved’s agony thrummed through their bond until it just _stopped_ , and he’d never feel anything of Alec again. When Magnus’ mind was in a particularly torturous mood he did get to Edom in his dreams. Only to find that he was too late. Alec lay on the ground, dead and gone. Wouldn’t wake up, no matter how desperately Magnus pleaded. The first time he had that dream he woke up with a panic attack so severe that he blacked out. (The event was made worse by the nasty coincidence that Alec was in the bathroom just when he woke up, so he had to face the empty side of the bed.)

Waken hours weren’t exactly easy, either. Being on bedrest was necessary but also gave him far too much time to think and overthink. With the aid of medication Magnus hadn’t dilated much further but he still had cramps and spotting, so he wasn’t really able to stop worrying about his unborn son for even a second. His emotions were a storm, and not only because of pregnancy hormones. Typically he preferred being alone when he lost control so badly. But with a still traumatized toddler and a terrified mate practically glued to him he couldn’t isolate himself. Nor did he have the reserves to pull off his trademark ‘I’m fine’ act. Flashbacks made him destroy a regrettable amount of items, sometimes with his magic, other times with his hands. He was wary of drinking or eating anything, which didn’t bode well with the pregnancy. And it was painfully hard to trust anything or anyone after the literally demonic scheme that nearly killed him and the child he carried. For centuries Magnus used alcohol to help him cope with pain and hated having to admit that at times he craved for that toxic but familiar comfort. His therapist, who visited him a couple of days after his return from Edom, was quick to announce that his old PTSD was back. With vengeance.

Despite his own struggles he noticed that Alec wasn’t having it easy, either. The frequent nightmares were hard to miss. Once or twice already the smell of burnt food had sent the alpha to a dark world inside his head. And while Alec loved his and Adira’s magic, hints of which the man also still had, a couple of times the sight of it had made him flinch as memories of Asmodeus’ torture attacked. Finally, after Alec’s fearful reaction to her magic made Adira cry, Magnus managed to coax his husband into seeking professional help. Together they managed to find a mundane trauma therapist who believed easily that Alec was a struggling young war veteran.

Thankfully they had the support of their friends, who were also family. Ragnor, Catarina and Raphael were Magnus’ rocks, even when he was at his most... challenging. While Jace spent time sparring with Alec, clearly for therapeutic reasons, Clary kept Magnus and Adira company with tea, biscuits and sympathy. Jace, Alec’s brother and parabatai, managed to support the alpha like no one else could. The blond never betrayed the archer’s confidence by revealing what they talked about while sparring but tipped Magnus off if Alec was having a particularly bad day. Max also spent far more time with his brother than before and managed to ease some of Alec’s tension. Maryse and Izzy were there for them both. Ensured that they ate, kept them company, listened, babysat during the hours they were too overwhelmed to look after Adira and assured them that they were good parents when they felt like the worst.

Little Adira was their light in the middle of that dark time. She was too young to understand the magnitude of what they went through and was just blissfully happy to have them with her. Even if they were both a little broken. They couldn’t fall too deep into the black voids in their heads when they needed to stay strong for her. Even through the worst she was their sunshine.

There was so much love between and around them. And with the help of that love not every day was gloomy. One morning, after actually succeeding in getting a few hours of dreamless sleep, Magnus woke up drowsily to the scent of tangerines and chamomile tea. Even more precious were the callous but tender fingers combing through his hair. He cracked one eye half-open lazily and leaned to the touch with a soft purr. “... time is it?”

Alec winced apologetically. “Earlier than I would’ve liked. But I wanted us to have some time for ourselves before Adi wakes up.” The man nodded towards something, clearly trying to contain his own excitement.

Curious, Magnus followed the hint and felt his heart swell. To a platter Alec had put together a beautiful little breakfast. Tea, pancakes (which were one of the few things the man could prepare alone without endangering the kitchen), fresh fruits, crackers, cheese and two glasses of orange juice. “What’s the special occasion?”

Alec’s expression grew slightly more solemn. “We’ve... been through a lot lately. We’ve had many... bad days. And... It’s been rough on us, and... _us_. But today... I can sense that it’s a good one for us both, so... I wanted to celebrate, a little.”

Magnus pushed himself up so he could kiss his mate’s cheek, with all the love there was in his heart. He then snatched a grape and fed it to Alec. “You, my darling... are full of marvelous ideas”, he praised.

Their baby seemed to agree, because without any forewarning there was a huge amount of ruckus inside Magnus’ belly. Noticing his shudder of surprise Alec stiffened, to relax when he started to giggle and led his alpha’s hand to where the action was. The taller man didn’t even attempt to contain the urge, nor would Magnus have wanted him to. He sighed happily when Alec sat behind him and settled close, both a hand and his muscular frame glued on him like an octopus. Soon their son settled down a little but continued to keep them company as they ate, whispered softly to each other and just bonded. Anything further would’ve been too much on Magnus’ body, which was fighting to keep their child inside it. But they did exchange many, many adoring kisses that spoke all the things they didn’t have enough words to for. In the middle of all that a sense of cautious triumph began to bud inside Magnus.

Asmodeus tried his hardest to steal his family from him. As did fate. Just like they’d taken away almost all else he’d held dear before. But now, finally, Magnus was starting to hope that perhaps he wouldn’t lose this, after all.

/

Through those weeks, much like Magnus noticed, Alec had his own struggles. Sleep didn’t come easily when nightmares kept tormenting him. Sometimes they were of Asmodeus’ magic burning him. Those were the easiest ones to bear, even if they left him covered in cold sweat. Even if echoes of those dreams occasionally came back to haunt him while he was awake, caused him to flinch at the sight of magic. Far worse were recurring dreams where he was once again behind the invisible wall. Watching helplessly as Magnus bled and called out to him before growing far too still and silent. Over and over again the love of his life and their son died in front of him and there was nothing he could do about it. Asmodeus was trapped in a limbo, unable to hurt anyone, but the horror story the demon once implanted to Alec’s subconscious was still much too alive.

Then there were the traces of magic that’d likely never leave his system fully. Trying to learn to control something like that when he felt so out of control... was a challenge. (Especially when the magic reacted eagerly to intense emotions, positive and negative alike.) The adjustment process led to some damage being done to the apartment. Alec was grateful for Magnus, Ragnor and Catarina, who helped him patiently. Magnus’ powers always seemed to notice when his needed some fine tuning, wrapped together with his to form a harmonious alliance when his body welcomed it. They became one on an even more intimate level than when bonding. (Which was almost as baffling in its power as falling in love.) Was it any wonder that soon Magnus deemed him a natural?

Helplessness was the most torturous part. Alec could tell the toll the whole ordeal took on Magnus’ mental health, how much fearing for the safety of their child constantly ate on the warlock. He was advised to just be there and offer his support but it was nowhere near enough. Their little boy might enter the world much too soon and he wouldn’t be able to stop it. (That knowledge hit him like a hammer every time he lay awake, one hand on Magnus’ bump and whispering to the tiny being inside.) Adira was still scared of losing them and Alec didn’t know how to soothe her. Nor could he keep his own mind from spiraling to nasty places. Alec had trained as hard as he could since a very young age to protect those he loved and now... Now he was completely, utterly helpless. He couldn’t silence the voice inside his head saying that he wasn’t good enough, that he was a failure who couldn’t keep his own family safe.

Jace and Izzy were there for him on the days when his hands itched and burned, making him eager to resort to old bad coping mechanisms. His siblings helped him release the pain and tension in a way that didn’t do more harm than good. The day after he and Magnus found out that the omega had dilated further to three centimeters Jace refused to spar with him. Instead his brother pulled him to a hug without saying a single word. It took less than a minute for Alec to break down in a way he’d ached to do since the whole nightmare began, clinging to his parabatai as though for dear life.

His mom was one of their biggest supporters and their most valuable babysitter. Whenever they were overwhelmed, had a _bad day_ simultaneously or just needed support they could count on her. One evening she was visiting when Alec came home from having to stop by at the Institute. At first he dreaded that something was wrong but the smile on his mom’s face calmed him down fairly quickly. She placed a finger on her lips before leading him towards the bedroom. The sight he encountered made all the day’s worries melt away.

Magnus and Adira lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling, with all lights having been switched off. There was an expression of deep concentration on their daughter’s face while she activated her magic. Soon colorful lights filled the room and an overjoyed grin appeared to her face. Looking up, Alec bit back a gasp. There was what looked like Aurora Borealis decorating the ceiling, in all its glory.

“Amazing work, Adira!” Magnus praised. “That is, without a doubt, the most impressive nightlight I’ve ever seen. Daddy’s going to love it.”

Adira tensed up. It took a moment before she managed to put into words what troubled her. “Magic scares daddy.”

This time Alec tensed up. He chided himself internally. He should’ve been more careful with his reactions...!

“Magic was used to hurt your daddy. That’s why it’ll take some time before he trusts it fully”, Magnus explained gently. “But the two of us together will help him trust again.” Both papa and daughter had a hand pressed against the man’s stomach. “Do you feel that? Your brother just pointed out that he wants to help, too. And he thanks you for the light.”

Adira smiled and kissed her papa’s cheek. “... to stay in bed all the time. ‘wanna make it pretty for you. So you ‘n’t be sad.”

Alec wouldn’t have needed their bond to know how deeply those words touched his husband, who pulled their girl close. He himself was close to tears. That was his whole wide world, right there in front of him. No matter how many nightmares he’d had, he hadn’t lost them.

His mom hugged him. “Go to them”, she whispered. “You two have been to hell and back. But don’t let yourself get stuck on always expecting the worst to happen, like I once did. Over the years that turned me into the worst version of myself.” She went on before he could tell her to stop beating herself up over days long since passed. “Today’s a good day. Let yourself enjoy it.”

Alec followed her advice gladly. That evening, like on many others before it, they had a dinner in bed. This time under the Northern Lights. That night no member of their family had bad dreams.

/

Unfortunately medication and bedrest could only help so much. Magnus hadn’t quite hit the twenty-nine weeks mark when he woke up to intense cramps that seemed to twist his stomach to knots. He groaned and started to push himself out of the bed. The sudden sensation of pressure made him hiss.

His movements immediately roused Alec. The alpha frowned and blinked hard to wake up properly. “.... ‘s wrong?”

“Just... Need the bathroom.” Magnus pressed a hand protectively against his bump while starting to trek towards the mentioned location. “I’ll be back soon.”

Magnus got to the bathroom but before he could sit down the pressure increased, like a knife slicing through him. Unable to hold it in he cried out and sought support from a wall. It wasn’t enough to keep his knees from buckling but at least he slid down slowly instead of crashlanding gracelessly.

“Magnus!” Alec called out, alarmed by his yelp.

Magnus attempted to answer but just then another slash of pain, along with even more pressure, made him moan. And suddenly what felt like a tsunami of fluid erupted from him. Cold chills went down his spine when he saw a great deal of blood tainting it. The omega inside him howled from distress.

Not only was the baby coming far too soon, something was also clearly wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... Crap. (whimpers) But after all the physical and emotional trauma, this was sort of inevitable. (sighs) Now let’s hope that all goes as well as possible!
> 
> Soooo... How badly do you want my head? Thoughts to share? PLEASE, do let me hear from you!
> 
> Until next time! I REALLY hope that I’ll see you there.
> 
> Take care!


	15. Bleeding Out, Losing Breath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec and Magnus both suffer as their son starts his far too early and agonizing entry to the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn’t the longest chapter of this story but it definitely has some feels. Oh boy...! (winces)
> 
> THANK YOU, so, so much, for your comments, love and support! You have NO IDEA how much they mean to me. (HUGS)
> 
> Awkay, then. Let’s go! I REALLY hope that you’ll enjoy the ride – and that you won’t just outright kill me after this...

Everything seemed to happen in slowed motion. Magnus hit the floor. Alarmed by his shout, Alec sped there and blanched at the sight of all the blood. The omega was too out of it to notice the hurried and curt fire message the alpha sent with unsteady hands. But the arms pulling him protectively close to a familiar body succeeded in offering some comfort. At least until it seemed like his abdominal area and private parts had been set on fire. The sensation was so intense that it took his breath away.

Magnus had endured pain far too many times over the course of his long life. But this time it was worse. Because this agony indicated that there was something wrong with his unborn child. He failed to protect his son and now the disaster he’d feared since coming back from Edom was coming to pass.

Sitting on the bathroom floor and struggling to stay awake, Magnus sensed Alec’s sheer terror through their bond. And there was nothing he could do to make either of them feel better. Unable to use his magic in his current condition, he couldn’t he do a single thing to stop the awful process his body was going through. The pain, emotional and physical alike, threatened to consume him whole.

Alec sensed how infuriatingly feeble he was getting and tightened his hold on him. The words that followed sounded like they were spoken from another world. “... with me, both of you ... breathe and stay ...”

When Catarina arrived through a portal, making Alec growl with her appearance, some of the tears in Magnus’ eyes turned into those of relief. He wanted to thank her but started drifting in and out of consciousness. Alec was saying something, every frantic word rumbling inside the ribcage he was cradled against. But it was all too much and too confusing. Magnus thought he heard one word but couldn’t be sure if Alec voiced it or he thought it. Possibly both.

“... _please_...”

Alec held on to him with all the alpha’s might until there was a sudden, distant knock. The oncoming inevitable separation, no matter how brief, made them both whimper. “... back soon ...”, Alec swore.

Magnus’ mind, on the verge of shutting down, spiraled. Reminded him of how he woke up just before Alec went away with Asmodeus, ready to die to save him. It wasn’t until much later he realized that his mate said goodbye. What if Alec would do something foolishly heroic again? What if...?

“Magnus.” Catarina’s voice caught his attention with effort. (He hated the nearly disguised fear in her eyes. Loathed that he was putting her through something like this again.) “... stop the bleeding ... have to move fast to help you two.”

Magnus pressed a shielding hand against his bump. To find that it was hard as stone and far too still. In that moment only one thing made sense to him. It’d hurt Catarina to hear but he needed to utter it while he still could. Before Alec would be within earshot once more, because he didn’t think his beloved would be able to handle his request. “... have to choose ... help the baby ... focus on him ...” If things would come down to _that_ , he wanted to be sure that those around them would put every little bit of their reserves into helping his son.

Catarina’s eyes hardened from ache and she clenched her jaw. “Magnus, you...!” She shook her head. “We’ll all do everything we can for the baby, you dramatic ass. But get into that thick skull of yours that we’re not letting you go, either. Your little ones need their papa.”

If Magnus wasn’t in so much pain he would’ve smiled at her stubbornness.

/

Alec had no memory trace of making a phone call. But all of a sudden his mom was there, a calming force in the middle of a horror story. She knew better than to go to Magnus when Alec was at his most protective and likely to lash out at anyone. Instead his mom offered him a look of deep sympathy before pulling him to her arms. “I’ll stay with Adira for as long as you need me to, so don’t worry about her. Just get Magnus to the infirmary so they can help him and your little miracle.”

Alec nodded and did his best to stay calm, to think through panic. He failed, especially after Magnus’ stifled whimper carried to his ears. “He’s in so much pain, mama. There... There was so much blood on the floor. And the baby... He’s too small, he’s not ready... We haven't even decided on a name...” His voice cracked and faded away.

His mom’s embrace tightened. She didn’t offer him empty promises that weren’t in her power to keep but ensured that he knew he had all her support. “I know that it’s hard. But try not to think about the worst options. One step at a time. I’ll be there for you through them all.”

Attempting to find some solace from that, Alec nodded and inhaled a deep breath. Like he always did before heading to the most dangerous missions. After whispering a barely audible ‘thank you’ he ran back to the bathroom, where Catarina was barely managing to keep Magnus awake. Apparently Alec was able to tense up further because he did at the solemn expression on her face. The visibly grown amount of blood didn’t help things.

Fighting his hardest to appear and sound calm, Alec knelt down and pressed a hand against Magnus’ cheek. With an awful amount of strain a pair of cat eyes peered up at him. “... Adi?”

“She’s still sleeping. Mom’s going to stay here with her.” Alec’s stomach knotted when his husband suddenly yelped, gasped and shuddered, a hand pressing harder against the bump. Golden eyes started to close. “Magnus, stay awake.”

It was likely that Magnus didn’t hear him. The warlock’s whole body shook while the eyes that barely managed to look at him were squeezed shut. “... hurts ... too much pressure ...”, the man admitted through his teeth. “... moving down ...”

It took about two seconds for those words to register and when they did panic made Alec feel cold. Their son was moving downwards, then. Apparently there really was no stopping this.

“Let’s get you to the infirmary.” Catarina’s tension was visible. (Either Magnus was finally stable enough to be transferred or they couldn’t spend another second waiting. Alec wasn’t sure he would’ve wanted to know which one was true.) “They have an incubator ready and Mia’s already there.”

They had people waiting who’d know what to do, how to help. That actually soothed Alec a little. This was one of those rare occasions when he needed someone else to take the lead. After a stiff nod to Catarina he gathered Magnus to his arms as carefully as he possibly could. But no matter how gentle he was the omega bit his lower lip to not cry out, the trembling from before intensifying. In the end the man hid his face into his shoulder.

Alec couldn’t shake off the awful feeling that the worst was yet to come.

/

Catarina had been in numerous... unpleasant situations over the course of her life. She’d lost so many people that at some point she stopped trying to keep track for the sake of her sanity. Magnus and Ragnor... They were supposed to be in her life forever. She only just got Magnus back after coming far too close to losing him. Now this was happening.

And Magnus... She’d seen from up close a part of all the losses he’d endured. Several times the pain had been so great that he could barely take it. If he’d lose his son like this... Catarina didn’t know if even someone so very strong could come back from it.

They got great many stares on their way to the infirmary but Alec wasn’t coherent enough to notice and Catarina didn’t care. The way the Shadowhunter held her dear friend broke her heart. It was the desperate grip of someone who never, ever wanted to let go.

Catarina feared for Alec, too. Losing Magnus or their son... With the Nephilim she didn’t have a single doubt about the result and it scared her. Alec wouldn’t survive such a loss.

Their elevator ride was a silent one and both of them did their best to not look at the drops of red falling occasionally to the floor. Apparently the bleeding Catarina got under control once had started again stubbornly. Every now and then the barely conscious man whimpered quietly. Each sound was like a blade to her heart and she could only imagine what they did to Alec.

The hardest part came when Alec had to lay Magnus on a gurney so the omega could be rushed to surgery. Slowly and tenderly, handling what was most precious to him, the man let go of his mate. And growled the second medics started to wheel Magnus away.

Fortunately Mia was already there. “Alec, I understand that you’re worried about them. But we need to operate on Magnus and you can’t be in the operating room.” She allowed Alec to absorb those words, waited until another, different kind of a growl came. (One closer to a sob or a wail.) “I also understand that this is one of the hardest things you’ve ever done in your life. I promise you that we’ll fight as hard for them as you would.”

Alec’s Adam’s apple bobbed. “The baby... It’s too soon.”

“I know.” Mia sounded as sad as Catarina felt. “But he’s coming today, anyway. And we’ll do everything we can to give him the best possible start.”

Alec nodded, so many emotions flashing in his eyes simultaneously that it was impossible to read them all. For a couple of stolen seconds the man’s eyes lingered on his own hand, which was holding Magnus’. That spared him from noticing the equally short time the other’s eyes opened a crack, full of fear, ache and confusion as they tried to catch Alec’s. Magnus’ lips opened but before the intended words came out he lost consciousness. And then they had to go because there truly was no time to waste.

Catarina didn’t dare to look back on Alec, who was left behind standing on his own.

/

The further away Magnus was taken, the harder it was for Alec to breathe. Then a door closed, separating them, and he was stunned his heart managed to keep beating through the agony. He stared at the door, his mind unable to come up with a single coherent thought. Absentmindedly, aching for comfort, he started playing with his wedding ring. This time that single action wasn’t enough to bring his falling apart world back to focus.

What was he supposed to do...?

“Alec!” Was Jace really there? Nothing felt quite real at the moment. “I felt your fear. What’s going on? Mom... She said that the baby’s coming.” A hand landed on his shoulder but his gaze remained glued on the door. “Alec?”

Alec’s lips parted but nothing came out. How was he supposed to speak when he had no breath left? Jace told him to breathe and he shook his head dazedly. ( _I CAN’T!_ ) Then he shook his head again, and again.

He withstood the kind of agony that couldn’t be described with words after Magnus was poisoned. He survived the torture of a Greater Demon. He tried to give his life. And nothing was ever enough. He couldn’t take this, he had nothing more left to give.

When darkness claimed Alec, wiped away everything, it was a relief.

As Alec slumped to Jace’s arms the wedding ring he’d been playing with fell to the floor with a loud clang.

/

Magnus was fast on his way to drifting somewhere very far away. He could tell that he was moving, even if he didn’t take a single step. There were people around him and he would’ve wanted to see who they were but didn’t have enough strength. Catarina’s soothingly familiar magic worked on him, attempted to stop the bleeding and kept him from feeling pain. Those words he thought he heard... Did he imagine them?

“... a lot of blood ...”

“... abruption ...”

“... only twenty-eight weeks ...”

“... developed enough ...”

“... them ...”

_My baby... Catarina, help him, please._ It was the only thing Magnus was able to worry about. (He wasn’t aware of his lips moving clumsily, mouthing his thoughts.) _Please, save him._

Then, with a flash of white light, he drifted from one place to another.

When Magnus opened his eyes it happened easily. He blinked twice, staring at the blue sky above him. Then he pushed himself up slowly and observed his surroundings with calmness that wasn’t natural.

Everything was illuminated by white light that was so bright it should’ve hurt but didn’t. Around him there was a field and a river that looked distinctly familiar. A small distance away stood a tiny and beautiful, wooden bridge, leading to a house he was almost sure he’d seen before. Drawn to it by some strange force, Magnus began to approach the building.

Inside it a woman was humming softly while putting flowers to a vase. Recognizing her, Magnus stilled. “ _Mother?_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Yeah. My hiding place is calling my name. (winces) Remember, a dead author won’t be able to finish a story!
> 
> Go on! Let me hear it. I deserve it! It’s almost Christmas and I throw THIS at you. (huffs at oneself)
> 
> I’ll do my best to pull off a Christmas miracle and update before Eve. Fingers crossed that I succeed! And PLEASE, do let me hear from you! Comments ALWAYS brighten my days.
> 
> Until next time! I REALLY hope that I’ll see you all there
> 
> Take care!


	16. Goodbye, Hello

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two members of the Lightwood-Bane family are fighting for their lives. Will they win or lose?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made it! I managed to update before Christmas! (grins) We’ll see if this update makes matters better or worse... (gulps)
> 
> Thank you SO MUCH for your comments, love and support! You have no idea how much every time I hear from you means to me. (HUGS)
> 
> Awkay, then... Let’s go! I REALLY hope that you’ll enjoy the ride.

Alec woke up to see a painfully bright and clinically white infirmary room. For a few moments his mind was confused and his hand reached out. Only to find that Magnus wasn’t there beside him. His chest clenched and it became hard to breathe once more. His heart hammered mercilessly and ached.

He could barely feel his mate through their bond, what if...?

“Hey, hey!” Jace’s hand squeezing his shoulder was a very thin comfort. Why did his parabatai’s eyes look like been crying? “Breathe and try to calm down. I know that it’s too much to ask but your blood pressure was just stabilizing and I don’t want you blacking out again. Slow and even breaths. Focus on my voice.”

Alec wasn’t sure he could do that but tried, anyway. With the comfort of their bond he worked his hardest. Eventually there was enough air in his lungs for his thoughts to flow clearly and his stomach knotted. “Magnus? Our son? How are they?” _Please, please, please...!_

Jace sighed heavily and appeared far older than his years. “They had to perform an emergency C-section. The baby... He’s really small and his lungs are underdeveloped. Something magic can’t help with, apparently. But... He’s as strong as his parents. He’s fighting. The next few weeks will tell if that’s enough.” That was where the blond stopped.

Something very cold spread through Alec’s entire body when his brother refused to even look his way. “And Magnus?” Panic surged fresh and strong when there was no reply. “Jace...!”

Jace hesitated and Alec braced himself for a horrible blow. Because he could tell that the following words would hurt them both. What came was worse than anything he could’ve been ready for. “Magnus... He lost too much blood. His heart stopped ten minutes ago.”

/

Magnus approached his mother slowly, almost cautiously. He’d carried the guilt and pain over her death in his heart for centuries. And now... Now she was right there in front of him. Humming happily while handling her favorite flowers.

She didn’t hum even once since she found out what he was.

Suddenly his mother peered over her shoulder and smiled at him. “ _There you are, Sweet Pea. I’ll finish with these flowers and then we can start cooking. I thought I’d make your favorite._ ”

It would’ve been so tempting and easy to stay. This, his mother’s unconditional love... How long had he been dreaming of deserving it? How many nights did he spent crying himself to sleep, craving for it? But now... “ _I can’t stay._ ” A tear slid down Magnus’ cheek. There was so much he wanted to say to her. So much he wanted to tell her, good and bad. When she turned her back on him, as though not having heard his refusal, he finally found his voice. “ _Your memory has haunted me for centuries. It was so hard to go on without you. But I did. I was lost for so long but I carried on because I had no other choice. And then I found Alexander. Sometimes I still can’t believe that I deserve his love when even my own mother couldn’t love me but I have it, anyway. He’s brought out the best version of me and... I wish that you could see me now. I wish that you could see Alexander and our daughter. Maybe you’d be proud of me._ ” It took some time before he could continue. “ _I’d probably deserve to die for the things I’ve done in my past. But... I have to be a better parent than you were. I can’t leave my children._ ” He swallowed hard while watching her hands working. (So much like his when he used magic.) “ _I’m sorry that you hated what I am so much that you killed yourself for giving birth to me. I’m sorry you couldn’t love me. But... I love my children, with all I am. They deserve a better papa than I am but they got me. And I’ll stand by them for as long as I can, to make sure that they never have to be ashamed of themselves. That they’re never abandoned, lost, lonely and scared._ ” After a pause he squeezed out the hardest part. “ _I forgive you, mommy. And maybe one day I’ll forgive myself, too._ ”

His mother turned towards him and frowned. “ _Now what are those tears for?_ ” She kissed his forehead, just like she used to do when he was sad or had bad dreams, and pulled him close for a comforting hug. “ _Don’t cry, my beautiful boy. I love you._ ”

Those words made Magnus’ tears fall harder. He closed his eyes and clung to her. “ _I love you, too._ ”

And then he let go. Of the pain and guilt but never of the memory. That was stored into his heart.

Which started to function again after a couple of stuttering practice beats.

/

It went against Jace’s better knowledge. But coming to the conclusion that Alec would try to get there on his own if he wasn’t assisted, he helped his parabatai closer to the room where Magnus was. They stood side by side behind the glass separating the operating theatre from the hallway and stared as the medical team led by Catarina still fought desperately to save the warlock. Jace wasn’t sure which one was more terrifying. How feeble and lifeless the most vibrant person he’d ever met was on the table. Or to actually feel his brother fade away, little by little, with his omega.

Then all the frantic action in the room ceased. Catarina’s devastated, tear filled eyes started to turn towards the clock hanging on the wall. And Jace experienced Alec’s sheer agony like someone had set his flesh on fire. The archer shuddered under the onslaught but didn’t utter a sound, likely couldn’t. Jace was very close to starting to howl from second hand pain.

Until suddenly, startling them all, there was a beat of life, then another.

Alec had leaned heavily against him. Now his brother took an unsteady step forward, pressed a hand against the glass. “Come back”, Alec breathed out a prayer. “Please, come back.”

The beat of Magnus’ heart grew stronger.

/

The three members of the Lightwood-Bane family had to be in the same space, they needed it physically and emotionally. Orders from Catarina and Mia made that happen. Two hospital beds were pushed together and an incubator was placed as close to them as possible. Alec’s mind was covered in fog as he was explained what was going on so most of it went over his head.

Apparently there was an abruption of some sort, which caused Magnus to lose a catastrophic amount of blood. He’d need careful monitoring, especially with how long his heart spent without beating. But unless there’d be further complications Magnus should recover fully, with a lot of care, rest and time. And miraculously Catarina’s team even managed to ensure that should they want to, they’d be able to have more biological children in the future. (Alec was too shaken by the ordeal to feel joy over that but he knew that a day would come when he’d be able to rejoice.)

Their son wasn’t ready for the world yet but adamantly refused to give up. Alec had to use all his self-control to not growl while a team of experts administrated medication, checked vitals and ensured that all sorts of tubes were in place. How could he trust something so frail and precious to him to the hands of strangers? He knew Mia but still... How could he trust that these people would be able to keep his son breathing?

As much as he wanted to Alec couldn’t take the baby to the security of his arms. So he settled for keeping his gaze on the little one, so he could see the rise and fall of that horrifyingly small chest. With both arms he pulled a still unconscious Magnus as close to his body as he dared to and pressed a hand against where a heart far too recently wasn’t beating. It was working well now, albeit slower than usual. Alec anchored himself on that discovery.

Quiet talking of Jace and Clary from right outside the room reached his ears. (He should’ve known that his parabatai would want to keep watch on them all, in the best way he got when being in the room would’ve been too much on Alec’s alpha instincts.) Along with that machinery and Magnus’ deep breaths were the only sounds audible. Alec was more than happy with that while he got as comfortable as possible and braced himself for keeping watch over his family for a long time.

/

The next time Magnus started to fight his eyes open he knew, with comforting certainty, that the world he was waking up to was the real one. His chest felt like it’d been mauled repeatedly with a sledgehammer and despite healing magic working slowly pain throbbed in several parts of his body. None of that bothered him. Because he sensed Alec, long before he was aware of anything outside physical discomfort. They had to be in the same bed because his husband was wrapped around him like an octopus, held him so firmly that it was like their scents and bodies became one. Alec’s heartbeat, a reassuring drumbeat under his ear, was faster than usual from worry but solid. With the help of that sound Magnus finally dared to believe it.

He made it back home.

“Magnus?” Alec’s voice was soothing balm, even if it sounded a little static. “Can you hear me?”

“Hmm.” Magnus’ tongue felt thick and clumsy. It would’ve been so tempting to just go back to sleep but he resisted the urge with al his might. Instead he wrenched his eyes half open to marvel the sight of his mate. “... really there ...”

Alec pulled him closer and kissed his forehead. Which was when he noticed that the man was trembling. “Of course I’m here.” Alec inhaled deeply, likely breathing freely for the first time in ages. “But you... Your heart, it stopped, you weren’t breathing, and... I thought I lost you.”

That would explain why his chest hurt... Magnus banished that thought quickly in favor of kissing the spot where Alec had his mark of their bond. “I couldn’t leave you.” The memories were hazy, like a dream. “I just... had to go somewhere, for a while.” The alpha probably wanted to ask for a clarification but Magnus cut it short. Because he was finally coherent enough to remember something. His pulse picking up, he pressed a frantic hand against his stomach. The swell was still there but it was achy and empty. Tears filled his eyes without him noticing it but didn’t spill. “Our son...!” He made it through. What if their child didn’t? How could he ever forgive himself if...?

“He’s right here”, Alec hurried to cut his spiraling trail of thought. “He’s... Mia says that he needs time and help. But... He’s fighting, as hard as you did.”

Desperately eager to see, Magnus ignored how much every movement hurt and pushed himself to a sitting position. (With Alec hovering close protectively, not breaking their physical contact fully for even a second.) Right beside their joined hospital beds was an incubator. Once he saw its tiny occupant Magnus’ heart broke and soared simultaneously.

Their little boy was so very tiny and visibly fragile, possibly only a third of Adira’s size when she was born. He needed additional oxygen to breathe and who knows how many other terrifying things. But he was nonetheless incredibly beautiful to Magnus.

Magnus pressed a hand against the surface separating them. That was his son, his precious baby. Of course some of those facial features were from him but mostly... “He looks just like you”, he choked out. It was like staring at a miniature version of Alec. Somehow that succeeded in making him love their child even more.

It was at that moment the whole thing got too much to bear for them both. Everything they’d gone through lately, this latest hurdle included... It was too much. They broke down to silent tears simultaneously and clung to each other. “I love you.” Alec said it like both their lives depended on it. As though fearing that he’d lose his chance if he didn’t utter it immediately. “Angel, Magnus, I love you so much.”

Magnus closed his eyes and felt the exact magnitude of that love. Alec had seen all of him, had witnessed the worst and weakest sides of him. And unlike so many others, his own mother included, didn’t run away from him but adored him more. He took the alpha’s hand and squeezed, hoping that the simple contact said enough. “I love you, too, Alexander.” The realization that he almost never got to tell his mate that again was jarring.

They watched over their fragile miracle and each other in a heavy and exhausted but not uncomfortable silence. (It was alright to not have enough energy to talk when they knew exactly what the other wanted to say.) Until running steps caught their attention. Even Alec wasn’t on guard because they knew who the arrival was long before Adira burst into the room. “Daddy! Papa!” the girl cried out, leaping to the bed.

“Be careful! Remember what I told you. Papa is very sore”, Maryse cautioned. Hopelessly too late. She grimaced upon also entering. “I’m so sorry, but I couldn’t keep her from portaling to you anymore.”

Magnus sniffled and cleared his throat, trying to regain control over his emotions that hormones enhanced. “Oh, we certainly don’t mind.” In fact, he and Alec had already pulled her close.

Adira clung to them incredibly tightly. It hurt to realize how scared she’d been. (Again.) “Papa and baby sick?” She pronounced that big word too expertly.

“No”, Alec denied. “But... Your brother decided to enter the world earlier than he was supposed to.”

Adira and Maryse saw the baby simultaneously. Adira, too young to understand just how wrong it was for a newborn to live in a box, melted to a beaming smile and practically glued herself on the incubator to get a good look. Maryse wiped her eyes subtly and smiled faintly, unable to look away from her grandson. “Oh, you two...! He’s beautiful.”

While Adira babbled and Maryse cooed to the baby Magnus leaned his head against Alec’s shoulder, drained and pained in more ways than one. The supportive arm wrapping around him readily was exactly what he needed. Even if his beloved’s distress still radiated through their bond.

It’d take a long time for them to recover from this entire ordeal. Some emotional and physical scar tissue would likely remain. And it was still too early to tell whether their son would win his rough battle for survival.

But they were together – and Magnus wanted to believe that it’d carry them through anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How’s that for a Christmas miracle? (smiles and sniffles) Hang in there, little buddy! We believe in you, baby boy. (sighs) Magnus finally got a closer to his mom’s death – in a horrible way, but still. Maybe it’ll help him.
> 
> Soooo... How was that, ANY good? PLEASE, do let me hear from you! Comments ALWAYS brighten my days.
> 
> And... HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF THE REMAINING CHAPTERS WERE FOCUSED ON HEALING AND RECOVERY? Or would that be too boring...? (LOL! What does it say about me that I worry about recovery and fluff being considered boring?)
> 
> Until next time! I REALLY hope that I’ll see you all there.
> 
> Take care!
> 
> Also... MERRY CHRISTMAS TO THOSE WHO CELEBRATE IT, AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO YOU ALL! (HUGS)


	17. Tears, Scratch Marks and Labored Breaths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec and Magnus both struggle while trying to recover from the most recent trauma. Their son continues to fight for his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, folks! Time for another chapter. Yay?
> 
> THANK YOU, a million times, for you comments, love and support – and for taking part in my little Twitter poll! (HUGS) You have no idea how much your support means to me.
> 
> Awkay, then. Let’s go! I REALLY hope that you’ll enjoy the ride, although it’ll be pretty emotional.

It was immediately clear that the Lightwood-Bane family wouldn’t go home for a while. Neither parent, especially Magnus who’d never feel fully safe inside the Institute’s walls, could bear even the thought of leaving their son there. And for the first few days the warlock himself needed monitoring, too, to ensure that he was recovering well. Adira, who got a small bed and a collection of toys for herself to the private infirmary room, didn’t seem to mind their current location. She was happy as long as she got to be close to her parents and little brother.

Magnus did his best to make it seem like he was just fine. (He decided firmly that he’d caused more than enough worry and trouble already.) Which didn’t work well when the man collapsed while trying to make it to the toilet on his own for the first time. While giving birth Magnus lost a lot of blood and still had to recover from the surgery. For days he got dizzy and pain escalated every time he moved around too much. Which didn’t sit well with someone who’d looked after himself for centuries, and had a toddler and a preemie baby to look after. Things weren’t made any easier by the fact that the omega’s magic was mostly asleep due to the trauma his body went through.

As Alec, Catarina, Ragnor and Raphael had dreaded Magnus started pushing himself as soon as he managed to stay awake for longer than half an hour at a time. The energy with which the man looked after his children was manic, that of someone fearing that their babies might be taken away any given second. That much became apparent when Magnus once woke up from a nap and had a panic attack because his son had been taken out of the room for a medical procedure.

Fortunately Magnus wasn’t at it alone. Alec sensed a breaking point of some sort coming and it finally happened when his mate was taking his first shower since their son’s birth. The whole affair started pleasantly enough, with Magnus moaning from delight.

Alec, who was currently massaging the omega’s scalp while applying shampoo, chuckled. It was good to hear such a sound of pleasure. “Feels good?”

“Heavenly”, Magnus sighed and leaned to his hands like a cat demanding scratches.

Alec took the hint happily and continued with his caring motions. Once he was done with Magnus’ hair he continued to the rest of the body. Which was a great joy because he adored touching his husband. Running his hands up and down the warm, soft skin was addictive.

Suddenly Alec’s hand brushed the still healing C-section wound, which would leave an eternal scar, and every single one of Magnus’ muscles tensed up. It took the Shadowhunter a few moments to realize what caused the reaction and his eyes widened when he did. “Magnus...”

By then Magnus was trembling and so pale that it scared him. A pair of golden eyes stared at the floor. “I’m... I’m so sorry. That I couldn’t...” Magnus choked in a shuddering breath. “Alexander, I couldn’t keep him inside me... I let him down, our son... What kind of an omega...?” Like that wasn’t painful enough to witness, the man’s gaze was fixed on the slowly scarring wound and a sneer of disgust followed. “How... How can you even stand the sight of me...!”

“Magnus, don’t you dare say that!” Alec pulled his mate close and held on as tightly as he dared to while shower water poured down on them. It took a couple of inhales before he managed to produce speech. “You didn’t let me down. And you definitely didn’t let down our son. This, what happened... It wasn’t something you could’ve stopped.” He tightened his embrace when Magnus’ trembling intensified. “You fought so hard to make it back to me, to us. And I’m so grateful that I have no words that we didn’t lose you.” He paused for a second. “Your scar... As if there’s anything that’d stop you from being the most beautiful person I’ve ever laid my eyes on. Let alone something that was caused by you giving me one of my two precious children.” He closed his eyes and kissed the other’s lips. “I love you, Magnus. So much. And nothing will ever change that.”

Magnus gasped. And then all semblance of self-control was lost. The first couple of sobs were barely audible. Soon the level of volume and despair grew. Magnus cried so hard that he could barely breathe, clinging to Alec almost painfully tightly. In the end the man’s legs gave way and Alec lowered them gently to the floor, where he could pull his beloved to his lap. He’d never been as grateful for his tall and muscular frame as he was while folding it around Magnus as a shield. He was a protective barrier and held on tightly to keep the pieces together while the strongest person he’d ever known fell apart entirely.

Eventually Magnus went nearly boneless and barely responsive in his arms. It startled Alec for a moment until he contented himself with the knowledge that the man needed to calm down and rest. As swiftly and tenderly as he could he toweled them both dry and helped Magnus to a bathrobe before putting one on himself. Then, continuing the be as gentle as he could, he picked up his husband and started to carry him towards the joined beds they’d have to occupy for a while.

Alec was roughly halfway there when he heard it. A whisper so quiet he could’ve easily missed if it was from just about anyone but Magnus. “... love you, too.”

/

After his own breakdown Magnus ached to provide the man he loved with similar care and relief. Because he could tell that Alec struggled, too. Couldn’t sleep and barely ate, didn’t manage to stand down for even a second, kept frantic watch over him and their kids.

Coming so close to losing their pregnant omega was any alpha’s worst nightmare. Alec went through it twice. Magnus dreaded to imagine what it did to his mate’s psyche.

Eventually it got too much. It was a small mercy that Adira was with Jace and Clary that night, to give Alec and Magnus a chance to focus on each other and their son. Magnus had a feeling that Jace chose the timing because he sensed his parabatai’s oncoming breakdown as clearly as he did.

For a while everything went suspiciously smoothly. Their baby was ready for kangaroo care for the first time and finally getting to hold him was nothing short of magical. Even all the tubes and wires attached to him didn’t dim the parents’ joy. Afterwards the pair celebrated with kisses. Eventually Alec was drained enough to fall asleep in the middle of a sentence, holding Magnus. Everything was so serene and promising that the warlock dozed off as well.

Until Magnus woke up to strangled screams. At some point he must’ve slipped out of Alec’s embrace because the man was half an arm’s length away from him, writhed in a visible amount of agony. Tears and sweat were all over the alpha’s sickly pale face while the Shadowhunter mumbled incomprehensibly.

Magnus’ stomach constricted. “Alexander, love, wake up. You’re having a nightmare. Please, wake up for me.”

All of a sudden Alec bolted to a sitting position, eyes wide and full of tears. The man scratched one of his own arms frantically enough to break skin, as though trying to get rid of something lurking underneath. It didn’t take long for blood stains to appear. “Magnus, I couldn’t... Angel, Magnus, I failed you... I couldn’t...!”

Overcoming his initial shock, Magnus grabbed the other’s hand to stop the harmful motions. “Alec, stop”, he pleaded and wrapped his arms around Alec. To his immense relief the taller man clung to him instead of continuing the attack against himself. For almost a full minute they just breathed. Together, in perfect sync, Alec matching his inhales and exhales without needing to be told to do so. “You didn’t fail me. You literally went to hell to save me, and it worked. Do you remember that moment when I woke up at the loft? Do you feel me in your arms now?”

Alec nodded. The man was still shaken while shifting so that one ear was leaning against Magnus’ chest. But their bond reported that he was calming down slowly.

Magnus sighed before continuing. “I’m not happy that you took such a risk. And especially that you were willing to...” He trailed off, unwilling to speak the final word. “But if our roles were reversed... I would’ve done the exact same thing.” He tightened his hold. “Sometimes it scares me how far we’re willing to go for each other. And I hate how much pain we’ve been through together. But this, having you in my arms, feeling our bond, our children... For all that I’d go through every single hardship a hundred times.”

“Me too”, Alec mumbled distractedly. Then smirked sheepishly. “Sorry, I just... I was listening to your heart beating.”

Magnus kissed the other’s forehead, then guided them to lay down. On the way he ensured that Alec’s head didn’t move from his chest. (The beat there and recent shock made the alpha so drowsy that he appeared half-asleep.) “Listen for as long as you need to”, he whispered. (Not wanting to drown out the soothing drumbeat.) “I’ll keep holding on to you.” He looked at the worryingly deep scratch marks marring Alec’s arm and decided to do whatever it’d take to make sure that more such damage wouldn’t appear.

That was how they fell asleep, and the following day they had an emergency therapy session to start a path to ensuring that Alec’s subconscious self-harm wouldn’t blossom to something worse.

/

It wasn’t just each other Alec and Magnus had to worry about. Their son was every bit as much of a fighter as they were. But there was no way around the fact that their little one was still very fragile. As hard as the baby tried those lungs just weren’t quite ready yet. Nor was the infant’s immune system, even with his magical genes. Shortly before hitting what would’ve been the thirty-one weeks mark of the pregnancy the child developed a severe chest infection.

For almost a week Alec and Magnus were terrified that they’d lose their son. Mia even gently braced them for such a bleak outcome. Seeing their child in so much pain and general discomfort... Alec could see how it tore Magnus’ heart to pieces. Just like it was a stab through his own. Things were made even worse by the fact that the baby was too frail and ill to be held properly. Through all those endless days the warlock wasn’t able to sleep. The man’s entire concentration was on their son while he clearly feared that every wheezing, rattling breath might be the last.

Adira was their anchor and comfort through that time. Even if she was too young to realize that she was one. She cheered them up with her happy babbling and little magic tricks. First thing every morning and last thing every evening she kissed the incubator and whispered ‘I love you, baby’. The touched parents wanted to believe that her little brother felt all the support and adoration. He seemed to breathe more easily every time he heard his sister.

Eventually, through a lot of pain, fear and even tears, the battle was won. Mia appeared disbelieving, for the best reason. “I can’t explain this”, she admitted. “What I can say is that this little one really, really wants to stay with you. I’m even willing to believe that the angels themselves are helping him.”

Later, while Adira slept curled up between them, the parents enjoyed some precious moments with their son in kangaroo care in Magnus’ arms. They looked at their tiny warrior. And realized that the time to choose a name for him had come.

“I’ve been thinking... If it’s okay with you, I’d like him to have an angelic name. I mean... Think about everything he’s already been through. That fighting spirit is something out of our world.” Alec went on when Magnus nodded his acceptance to the idea. “My favorite name of that type is Gabriel. It means ‘God is my strength’.” And their son had already proven, time and time again, how strong he was. Worry squeezed at his chest when Magnus’ eyes watered. “Hey...”

Magnus shook his head and smiled, easing his concern. “I’m fine, it’s just... All these hormones.” The man blinked rapidly and cleared his throat. “That name... I certainly approve.”

Alec smiled happily and kissed his mate. The acceptance urged him to continue. “As for the second name... I... kind of started skimming through baby names after we found out his gender.” It was the perfect way to distract himself from going out of his mind with worry while Magnus wrestled with nausea and exhaustion. “I made a list of the choices I liked. With a lot of notes.”

Magnus smiled fondly. “Of course you did.” The tender hand squeezing Alec’s showed just how much his thoroughness was appreciated.

Encouraged, Alec went on. “After... what, a thousand ones I refused to even consider I found about ten that might work. Mathew made it to the top of that list pretty quickly. It means ‘gift from God’.” Their kids were, without a shadow of a doubt, the most amazing gifts they’d ever received. He shrugged. “I know that it’s nothing exotic but...”

“Alexander, look.” Magnus nodded towards the incubator, where their just named son had opened his eyes for the first time. Of course there was no way he could see properly yet but the way those beautiful, golden cat eyes turned their way... It felt deliberate. “I think it’s safe to assume that he loves his name as much as I do.”

Alec smiled, for what felt like the first time in forever.

Gabriel Mathew Lightwood-Bane. It sounded so right. Their little angel still had a lot fighting to do. But when Alec reached out Gabriel took his finger and held on tight, with all his might.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep fighting, little one! (sighs) What do you think of his name? I had a little Twitter poll about his second name and I had SO MUCH FUN with your responses. I kind of suspected that Mathew would get a landslide victory. (giggles) Thank you so much to everyone who voted! (HUGS)
> 
> What about this chapter? ANY GOOD, at all? PLEASE, do let me hear from you! Comments ALWAYS brighten my days.
> 
> Until next time! I REALLY hope that I’ll see you all there.
> 
> Take care!


	18. ‘There You Are’

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuing to recover, Alec and Magnus take some time to reconnect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That’s right, y’all! It’s time for another chapter. Hooray?
> 
> THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart, for all your comments, love and support! You have no idea how happy you make me. (HUGS)
> 
> Awkay, then. It’s go time! I REALLY hope that you’ll enjoy the ride.

As Gabriel grew and got stronger Alec and Magnus became more comfortable with handling him. It took frustratingly, almost torturously long before the baby could be left without additional oxygen safely. But his heart was strong and his lungs developed slowly. As time passed he was able to spend more and more time outside the incubator, which helped the parents bond with him. They were fairly quick to learn that Gabriel hated people making a fuss over him as much as Alec did. And that Magnus’ singing was his favorite sound in the world. Once Gabriel could start trying bottle feeding his stomach began to act up. (Through the worst of it his parents could only hold him as he howled from pain, wondering if things would ever truly settle down.) But he continued to fight and grow. Adamantly refused to give up on the life he so very nearly lost.

By his side his parents did their best to recover, too. Attended to much needed therapy. Leaned on the support of friends, family and each other. They still had nightmares frequently and harbored far too much guilt they knew, on a level of reason, to be unnecessary. But they could sense, with their all, how much they were loved by each other. Piece by piece that helped them put together their shattered confidences.

Over the weeks to come Magnus’ magic returned gradually to its former glory. PTSD was still a frequent problem, though. The warlock had a couple of more panic attacks and it was all too easy to see how the man beat himself up. (After encouragement from Ragnor Magnus confessed to Alec that self-esteem issues were something he’d always wrestled with. But Alec was doing miracles to fix those centuries old insecurities. Magnus even whispered that he’d never seen himself as more beautiful, inside and out, as he did with Alec. That night they fell asleep tangled together, smiles on their lips and slept dreamlessly.) Magnus also wasn’t comfortable with revealing his C-section scar to Alec, which – much to both their frustration – made... intimate times impossible. (Seeing how hurt Alec was by that, despite himself, Catarina revealed to the Nephilim that he wasn’t the problem. What the scar represented was. Squeezing his hand, she asked him to be patient. His fast and honest ‘For Magnus I’d do anything’ earned him a kiss on the cheek.) Time and patience worked miracles. Little by little Magnus’ smiles become more genuine, their kisses more heartfelt and their bond reported that the man was feeling calmer, safer, more comfortable in his skin.

There was a milestone Alec hadn’t known he’d been aching for until one rainy afternoon, while Adira was putting together a puzzle with Madzie. They were changing Gabriel’s diaper and the Shadowhunter had to bite his lip to not smile at the look of deep concentration on his husband’s face. (They’d handled diaper duty a million times with Adira but Gabriel was much smaller than she’d ever been, and far frailer.) The adorable sight distracted Alec so that he didn’t voice his warning until it was too late. “Remember, baby boys are different from girls, they may...”

Gabriel was already urinating all over Magnus’ clothes.

Magnus stared. Then started to laugh, the sound rumbling from the depths of his belly and soul, warm eyes shining happily with it. It was his first true laugh since the poisoning, Edom and... _everything_. Alec teared up upon realizing just how much he’d longed to hear it. How much he’d yearned to see his mate so happy.

“Alexander?” Suddenly there was a light frown, of confusion, not of worry, on Magnus’ face. “Why are you crying?”

Alec hadn’t known he was. He shook his head and kissed Magnus’ forehead. “Happy tears, I promise.”

Alec himself... There were a couple of more times when he slipped and ended up harming himself subconsciously as his mind ran away from him. (Magnus was there both times. Grounded him, flooded all his senses with love and acceptance.) Those ‘episodes’, as Alec called them, left one wound that’d scar permanently. (Much later Magnus asked him whether he wanted it to be healed fully. He declined, wanting visual evidence of how hard he fought to get better for his family so he’d _never_ let himself fall too deep into the dark.) Alec suffered from PTSD, too, and sometimes its hold was brutal. It didn’t help that his protective instincts were going haywire as he attempted to look after his ailing family and for what seemed like ages he could barely relax for even a second. On the best days Alec felt like himself – on the worst he felt like a failure of an alpha, age-old self-worth issues rearing their ugly head. (It wasn’t easy to pluck away the thought that he was never enough, let alone good enough, when it was hammered to his skull through his childhood, teenage years and early adulthood. Especially after the recent trauma.) As rough weeks of painstaking recovery crawled by the good days came more and more frequently.

Far too often Alec failed to see his own steps forward. One early evening such was pointed out to him. Izzy and Simon got to meet Gabriel for the first time. (His sister wasn’t exactly happy about having been made wait for that long but understood that the parents and baby weren’t ready to be bombarded by too many guests earlier.)

Gabriel was in Magnus’ arms and, despite being too young to actually see, looked towards the visitors with visible suspicion. Izzy cooed excitedly and gushed over how adorable he was but knew better than to touch. Simon, who hadn’t learned his lesson about alphas and omegas yet, didn’t have such self-restraint. The daylighter reached out a hand towards Gabriel but jumped back quickly at the sound of a small but vicious growl. It didn’t come from Alec but from the child.

“He... He growled at me!” Simon cried out indignantly. “Iz, Gabe growled at me!”

Magnus rolled his eyes. “And they call me overdramatic... Simon, he’s just a baby, and you startled him!”

Suddenly there was laughter, not loud or boisterous but full of happiness all the same. Alec didn’t realize that it came from him until Simon looked at him with wide eyes. It was the alpha’s turn to arch an eyebrow. “Now what?”

“I just...” Simon blinked once, twice, almost carefully. “I... don’t think I’ve ever heard you laugh before.”

Looking back, Alec realized that he hadn’t actually laughed in a very long time.

/

Caring for a preemie was a lot of work, especially with all the special care Gabriel needed for weeks and weeks. And then there was little Adira, who was terrified that her parents wouldn’t come back every time they left her sight. (At least she was too young to fully realize just how close she came to losing them both.) In the middle of looking after their little ones the pair didn’t have a lot of time for each other. And they would’ve desperately needed some quality time together, to strengthen their bond and reconnect after everything they’d been put through. Tension, exhaustion, frustration and their insecurities made them fight over the stupidest things. Sometimes those arguments were electrified by flickers of magic – Magnus’ was still recovering and not fully under control, and Alec hadn’t learned to master the powers refusing to leave his system yet. But at least even at their worst and most immature they managed to not cross the line to ‘unforgivable’ and when one of them needed a timeout the other didn’t have to wonder if the departure would lead to divorce papers.

Eventually Ragnor and Izzy, the ones they confided in the most after those... disagreements, announced that they needed a romantic getaway. Alec initially balked at the thought. “Adi isn’t ready for that yet! And Gabe...!”

Izzy huffed and visibly contemplated swatting her brother upside the head. “We’re talking about two nights, not two years. And do you remember the army of babysitters you have here?” The expression on her face softened slightly. “Besides, your kids are tougher than you seem to think.”

Ragnor nodded his agreement. “They will be alright. So will you. And I have the perfect vacation location for you.”

Predictably Adira wasn’t happy about their departure and began to cry loudly. Likely sensing his sister’s distress, Gabriel started his heartbreaking mewls inside the incubator, his lungs too underdeveloped for anything louder. The chaos almost broke the parents’ resolve. Fortunately they had a lot of people who’d take excellent care of their troublemakers. Jace even managed to turn Adira’s tears into giggles.

At the time of Alec and Magnus’ actual departure she was very solemn, though. “You will come back.” It sounded far too much like a plea.

The men nodded, equally solemn. It felt incredibly good to promise that with absolute certainty. “Of course we’ll come back”, Alec swore.

“And when we return...” Magnus made golden and silvery glitter rain on Adira, and she was smiling again. “If you’re a good girl for your aunts and uncles we’ll have the biggest ice cream and cartoons party ever seen.”

Adira smile brightened to a full beam.

Neither mate wanted to go home, even if it was their nest. Alec wasn’t ready to make love in a bed where Magnus almost died, and the omega couldn’t stand sensing Asmodeus’ presence as they attempted to... set the mood. (Briefly as the Greater Demon stopped by, it left what felt like a permanent invisible mark.) They knew that they’d have to face their fears eventually but neither was quite in the right mental place for that. So instead they walked through Ragnor’s portal, to end up to the man’s cabin. A shiny new bedroom awaited them and both wondered just how long their friends had been scheming to arrange the whole thing. Magnus barked out a laugh at the message from Ragnor they found, Alec blushed scarlet.

‘ _Did you truly imagine that I’d let you defile my own bed? Enjoy the bedroom. I shall burn it after your departure and ask no questions._ ’

Stretching his ‘magical muscles’, Magnus darkened the room to set the mood and lit up tens of scented candles. Jasmine and lilies, strong but not overly invasive. (Just enough to keep flashbacks of how Alec’s burnt flesh reeked at bay.) He then pursed his lips and switched the red sheets Ragnor picked to golden. (He wasn’t a fan of the color red after Edom.) Inspired, he also snapped his fingers and nodded in a satisfied manner when a starlit sky appeared to decorate the ceiling. (There was absolutely no chance that either of them would mistake their little love nest for Edom.)

Alec gasped. (Upon a worried inspection Magnus discovered that this was the good, impressed kind of a gasp.) “You have to teach me how to do that”, the alpha murmured, amazed eyes on the ceiling.

Magnus smiled and was pleased to discover that it came easily. “Gladly. But just so you know, you don’t have to magic stars for me. I see them every time I look at you.”

It was cute beyond words how Alec’s cheeks colored once more as the man huffed before sputtering. “How...? What am I even supposed to say to that?”

Magnus smirked. Then pouted. “I was hoping to earn a kiss.”

Alec was more than happy to grant him one. Or two. Or three. They got so enamored by each other’s lips that they didn’t notice how they approached the enormous double bed until they literally collided with it. They froze, studying each other’s faces.

How many times had they done this before? It was ridiculous how they suddenly felt like two bashful teenagers who’d never been touched. Self-conscious, a little scared and oh so eager.

Fortunately they were two grown men, capable of talking. Magnus inhaled a deep, shuddering breath, bracing himself. “I’m, my body... It... hasn’t quite bounced back yet.”

Alec shrugged. Trying and failing adorably to make it all seem like it wasn’t a big deal. “Mine isn’t the same, either. But that’s alright. It’s still me, and it’s still you.”

It was in that moment they identified one big factor behind their arguments. Everything that’d happened... It’d changed them, inside and out, possibly in a manner there was no coming back from. They both went through their hells, had new scars marring their souls that left them hesitant over whether they’d be accepted as their new selves. They’d have to get to know each other again – and that night they began to do that properly, starting from one another’s bodies. (Because they deserved that chance.)

Alec had lost weight and muscle mass due to stress, lack of appetite and not having had time to train. Then there was the scar he caused himself accidentally, along with the few marks on his legs and back Asmodeus left behind which would never go away. Magnus still had some little loose skin from when he carried their son for as long as he could. The poisoning, intense nausea, bedrest and stress had also left their marks. Despite his (as he labeled it) baggy stomach (which he hated with passion, especially with the hideous scar) he’d lost even more weight and muscle mass than Alec. All of that was easy to see, even if they’d done their best to look after each other and themselves.

But Alec was still breathtakingly handsome to him. And he could see and sense that his husband considered him as beautiful as on the day they first met. That’d never change. Nor would how much they’d always love each other, no matter how much they’d change over the hopefully very long time they’d get to have together. They’d always find their way back to each other. That realization, which dawned on them practically simultaneously, gave them both peace.

They undressed each other one clothing article at a time. And made love for the first time in what felt like forever – for the first time since Magnus’ poisoning and Alec’s trip to Edom nearly tore them apart for good. They acknowledged and worshipped each other’s bodies. Tasted and felt one another. Savored all the warmth and the sounds they were able to pull from each other.

Moments after climaxing together their eyes met. Their pupils blown wide, panting and trembling for the best reasons. “There you are”, Alec breathed out.

Magnus kissed his husband slowly and sweetly. They didn’t have any rush to get anywhere. “There you are”, he sighed blissfully.

/

Alec and Magnus barely left the bedroom that night, the next day or the night following that. After that their need to get back to their kids and the fact that they were ready made them decide to go back. Via detour.

Before returning to the infirmary they stopped by at their loft. Alec held Magnus’ hand while the omega’s magic reinforced the apartment’s wards. (Considering how strong they already were it was more to give the warlock peace of mind than an actual necessity. Alec was glad if it helped his beloved believe that Asmodeus would never return.) In the bedroom Magnus assisted Alec with magicking them a new bed, one that had no unpleasant memories attached to it. Satisfied with what they got, the Shadowhunter asked his mate to teach him how to pull off another trick. Soon a starlit sky, one that’d stay for as long as they wanted it to, shone on the ceiling.

Magnus kissed Alec’s cheek. “Thank you. That will definitely help with the nightmares. And if I ever have any, waking up to the sight of that and you will be the best help.”

Alec’s genuine, happy smile was a beautiful thing to see.

At the infirmary they had the ice cream party they promised with Adira. And that night all four of them were able to sleep in the two joined hospital beds, both children securely between the adults. Somehow that helped solidify them as a family.

It felt like a beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They’re all healing. It’s a LONG process, and some of the damage done will never heal. BUT, they’re together, and moving forward. (BEAMS)
> 
> Soooo... How was that, any good? PLEASE, do let me hear from you! Comments ALWAYS make my days brighter.
> 
> Until next time! I REALLY hope that I’ll see you all there. 
> 
> Take care!


	19. The Magic of Starting Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel continues to grow and eventually gets to go home. Alec and Magnus continue to heal their relationship after all the pain and suffering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m BAAAAAAACK! (grins) And as you see, I upped the chapter count by one. That way I can give this story the epilogue I feel it deserves. (smiles)
> 
> THANK YOU, so much, for your comments and support! Every evidence of you guys being there is precious. (HUGS)
> 
> Awkay, then. Let’s go! I REALLY hope that you’ll enjoy the ride.

During all the weeks and eventually months Gabriel was at the infirmary his parents received a lot of much needed therapy. After one session Alec was clearly deep in thought. Eventually, with both their little ones sleeping soundly, Magnus poked at his alpha’s forehead with a gentle finger. “What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”

“That’s... actually the problem.” Alec sighed heavily. “My mind... It’s a million miles away, even when I’m right here pressed against you. Because my head’s so busy waiting for the next horrible thing to befall us. I can’t stop thinking, or relax.” The man huffed out of frustration. “I know, a lot of people would say that I don’t know how to relax, anyway. But this is different, and... I hate it. I want to re-learn how to just enjoy the here and now with you and the kids.”

Magnus took Alec’s hand and squeezed comfortingly, understanding where his beloved was coming from all too well. (He felt the same way far too often but he had centuries’ worth of experience on dusting himself up and marching on.) Long fingers curled around his, a thumb starting to rub tender circles. “What can I do to help?”

“My therapist... She suggested something today.” Alec pursed his lips thoughtfully. “That we should... start again.” The man gathered his thoughts for a while before explaining further. “Not like, pretending to start our whole relationship again. I mean, we’re married with kids. But... Maybe we need to... get to know each other again? Get used normal life. Well, as normal as our lives can ever be. I want to get rid of the constant fear that I’ll lose you or that this is just... some sick mind game and soon I’ll wake up to a horrible reality.”

Magnus could certainly relate to that wish. He snuggled closer to Alec and contemplated swearing that he wasn’t going anywhere. But this... This would take far more than just words to overcome. “How do you want to start?” he inquired instead.

Alec looked at him. Not for the first (nor last) time the sheer love on his husband’s face took his breath away. “I want to take you on a second first date.”

Magnus agreed beyond happily and let Alec do the planning because it was clearly something the man needed. A couple of days later Maryse was left to babysit their children while Alec started to lead Magnus.

To their home.

Seeing his surprise, Alec shrugged. “I just... We’ve had so many unpleasant memories connected to the loft lately. I figured we need a good one.”

Magnus smiled. Then kissed his mate, because he couldn’t and didn’t want to fight the urge. “You continue to surprise me.”

Alec’s smile was a pleased and relieved one. “If that earned me a kiss... Just wait until you see the living room.”

Magnus must’ve been even more sleep deprived than he’d imagined because he hadn’t caught the mouth-watering scent of his favorite meal before he saw it. Their living room had been cleared so that aside a small table, which was set for two, the floor space was practically empty. And then there were candles and red roses. A lot of them.

“How...?” Magnus sputtered, uncharacteristically speechless.

“I told Izzy and Ragnor what I wanted and they helped put everything together.” Suddenly Alec appeared adorably shy, as though wondering whether his beautiful gesture would be approved of. “The roses... There’s one for every day we’ve been married.”

So sue Magnus for getting misty eyed... “And... The candles?” If he knew Alec at all, there was a story behind them, too.

Alec looked at one mentioned item. Likely in an attempt to hide that his eyes weren’t entirely dry, either. “One for every day since Gabriel was born.”

If someone asked him later, Magnus wouldn’t have been able to put into words how he felt in that moment. His heart... It filled to a point where he feared, irrationally, that it’d burst. Hoping to convey at least a fraction of what he felt, he placed one loving hand on each of Alec’s cheeks. Then rose to his tippy toes and kissed his beloved in a manner that would’ve certainly joined their souls together if they weren’t already bonded.

Both their pupils were wide when they eventually had to part for air. Magnus licked his lips while they panted, their breaths mingling. “Shall we dance? To increase our appetite?”

Not too long ago Alec would’ve refused immediately. Now the Shadowhunter nodded and held him like they’d done this a million times. Not bothering to stop himself from purring happily, Magnus snapped his fingers and beautiful French music started to play. (The kind reserved for when he was in the best of moods.) They didn’t get adventurous and try spins, dips or anything fancy. They just swayed, tangled together in harmony, like they were one being. It was the perfect compromise between ‘professional level’ and ‘two left feet’.

“I still don’t know why you put so much effort into teaching me to dance before our wedding”, Alec murmured.

Magnus looked into his alpha’s eyes. “Simple. Because you’re the only one I want to dance with for the rest of my life.”

A lot of kissing later they actually remembered to eat. (Well, they more fed each other than ate.) After that they tested their brand-new bed, to discover that it was an excellent find.

It was a very successful ‘second first date’.

/

Not much after that it was finally time to take Gabriel home. The parents were beyond excited but also terrified. Gabriel was still tiny and suffered from occasional stomach problems. Mia also cautioned them reluctantly that despite his magical heritage the little one was still very prone to infections. They’d especially have to keep an eye on their son’s breathing. What if something would go wrong when there were no longer medical professionals around them at all times?

On his first night home Gabriel cried for hours and hours. Eventually Magnus sound-proofed Adira’s room to ensure that at least she’d get some sleep. It was hard to say whether the boy finally felt better or just got too exhausted to keep crying, but he did settle down. Soon after Alec nodded off, weeks upon weeks of sleep-debt catching up with him. He woke up to an empty bed and for a few moments of torture wondered frantically if he dreamed all the pain, suffering and chaos getting a happy ending. If Magnus was...

Then instinct led him to the nursery and the sight there brought a smile to the tired man’s face. Gabriel was perfectly safe in his bassinet, making little noises in his sleep. Curled up in an armchair right beside the baby Magnus had also fallen asleep after obviously having kept an eye on the child.

Sensing him, there Magnus blinked his bleary eyes open and gave him a sleepy smile. Then winced apologetically. “I’m sorry”, the man whispered. “I was supposed to be back in the bed before you woke up.”

Alec shook his head. What he got to witness now easily made up for the nasty scare. “It’s okay. I’m just glad that my two favorite boys are okay.”

Magnus smiled again before beckoning him to come closer, hinting clearly that he wanted a kiss. Alec was very happy to grant that request. His lips muffled Magnus’ yelp of startle when, on the spur of the moment, he picked up the omega, then sat with the smaller man on his lap. “There”, Alec sighed happily. “Now we can watch over him together.”

Magnus snuggled as close to him as humanly possible, oozing happiness and contentment. For about an hour they guarded Gabriel’s sleep before fatigue got better of them. The night was peaceful and they woke up sore from having slept in a chair. Neither minded because they woke up to Gabriel smiling at them.

“It’s just gas”, Jace pointed out good naturedly when he saw that smile later that day.

Magnus glared at the blond. So did Gabriel, who growled with Alec. “For that comment you won’t be his goddad.”

/

Catarina was there for Magnus and his family, every step of the way. But with the certainty of someone who’d known her for a very long time he could tell that something was going on. That she was keeping something from him.

One evening Alec announced that he’d take care of the kids so he could have some Magnus-time. (An idea that miraculously made him love his mate a tiny bit more. How was that even possible?) He immediately invited Catarina to a café they both loved, knowing that she had a day off.

It was on their walk back he finally addressed the topic, sensing that she was relaxed enough to open up. “Catarina... You’re one of my two oldest friends. I can tell that something’s bothering you.” His gentle tone made adamantly clear that he’d pass no judgement. “Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

Catarina opened her mouth twice for a false start. In the end she just blurted it out, refusing to look at him. “I brought you the poison that almost killed you.” She went on before he could interject. “Someone I trusted betrayed me and you could’ve...” Catarina trailed off, breaking down to tears.

Magnus was shocked and heartbroken. He couldn’t remember the last time he saw her cry because it was such a rare occurrence. And she’d kept this pain bottled up inside all this time? He pulled her to a hug and she clung to him like someone drowning. “Catarina, none of what happened was your fault. If anything I owe you my life, and my son’s life. Thank you, for everything you’ve done for us.” There was something he’ been supposed to ask later but now seemed like a good time. “Alec and I have been talking. And we’d like you to be Gabriel’s godmother.”

Catarina shivered from surprise. Then sniffled and sobbed loudly. “... couldn’t wait ... am not crying so hard I can barely breathe?”

Magnus smiled. Then kissed her cheek, already knowing her answer. “You know how much I love drama.”

/

Due to Gabriel’s ailing health Alec and Magnus had to limit the amount of people visiting the loft. And honestly, with how easily they still got emotionally overwhelmed keeping things as simple and quiet as possible was for their benefit as well. It also helped their family of four strengthen their bonds. Fortunately their nearest and dearest understood.

It was often far from easy. Gabriel was sickly and Adira hit her terrible twos, which was particularly eventful because her magic responded to her moods. The loft was often loud and chaotic as both kids needed their parents’ attention simultaneously. Even though the adults around the drained couple ensured that they got occasional breaks it was nonetheless taxing. On their relationship as well. Both men hated how often they got into stupid fights. Things got even more hectic when Alec returned fully to his professional duties and Magnus started the slow process of doing the same. (People in their positions could only stay away for so long, after all, even for their children.) But their life was also so fulfilling and magical that it easily made up for all hardship. Especially getting to watch their children grow.

Adira had her awful temper tantrums but usually she was a sweet, powerful and almost scarily intelligent little girl. Almost daily her parents were baffled by how fast she learned new things. She loved everyone around her but seemed to have a special sweet spot for her daddy.

Gabriel was strong and stubborn, as he’d proven himself to be from the start. The more he grew the more he loathed being fussed over and expressed it readily with loud growls. He was also very clearly his papa’s boy. By the grand age of six months he’d only ever started purring in Magnus’ arms.

One of the most fascinating things was seeing the relationship between the siblings take shape and grow. At the beginning Adira had great many moments of jealousy with a brother sharing the attention she was used to having all to herself. Things weren’t improved by the fact that for quite long Gabriel was far too fragile for her to hold him and do much with him. She loved him but sometimes seemed to see him as an intruder who was hogging her parents. It took a long adjustment period, great effort and a lot of patience for Adira to get used to having Gabriel home.

Possibly the biggest thing their two miracles had in common was their love for stories. Even Gabriel enjoyed fairytales despite being much too young to actually understand them. Most evenings they gathered to Adira’s room with her sitting on Alec’s lap and Gabriel in Magnus’ arms while the warlock told a story. Some fairytales were requested over and over again, such as the one of a brave knight who saved a magical prince. Another favorite was an ever-growing collection of stories of a sister and a brother who always got into exciting adventures together.

That evening, with Magnus having been so tired that he fell asleep as soon as he got comfortable in their bedroom, Alec gathered the kids to their bed and took over fairytale duty. “... showed her brother a magic light. And he finally found his way back home from the dark tunnel the evil king trapped him into.”

Adira yawned, half asleep. (Gabriel was even further on his way to the land of dreams.) “... happily ever after?”

Alec looked at his slumbering mate. (For the first time since _everything_ he didn’t feel the need to check that Magnus was breathing, that the man’s heart was beating.) Then he looked at their duo. “Their story is far from over. But things are looking very good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaw, don’t worry, Alec. Something tells me that your family will get the happy ending it deserves. (smiles)
> 
> Soooo... How was that? PLEASE, do let me hear from you! Comments ALWAYS brighten my days.
> 
> Until next time! I really hope that I’ll see you there.
> 
> Take care!


	20. Healing, Growing, Learning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Malec continues to recover. Gabriel grows up to a toddler. And Magnus gets a surprise visitor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m SO SORRY that it took me SO DAMNED LONG to update! My mind just got lost along the way. (groans) But now I’m back. Yay?
> 
> THANK YOU, so much, for your comments, love and support! They mean ore to me than any words can say. (HUGS)
> 
> Awkay, then. Let’s go! I REALLY hope that you’ll enjoy the ride.

With the support of therapy, each other, friends and family Alec and Magnus continued to improve. It wasn’t a fast or painless process but they’d never been fond of taking the easy way out. Especially when they had so very much to fight for.

To Maryse’s surprise and delight Magnus started visiting her on occasion. It was under the guise of bringing her store rare items to sell but it felt like a ‘thank you’ for how much she’d helped the Lightwood-Bane family through... _everything_. They also shared the trauma of almost losing Alec. They talked about it a few times and it helped them find some little closure for the nightmare.

Maryse was absolutely overjoyed to see Magnus’ confidence in himself and peace of mind return. With every single one of their meetings he seemed calmer. Smiled more freely, didn’t flinch upon seeing the color red, was comfortable enough to have tea with her without preparing it himself. He’d never be exactly the person he was before but he was genuinely happy, emotionally scarred but healing.

The most beautiful thing was seeing Alec and Magnus together. Their love... It still shone incredibly brightly, stronger than ever before.

One early evening Maryse held Gabriel, humming softly to the child who was just about to fall asleep. Her attempts were interrupted when Alec and Magnus came home early for once just a few minutes apart from each other, surprising them all. The kids were predictably excited and it took the adults a lot of effort to get them to calm down. Eventually everything was peaceful, though. In the living room, imagining that no one would see and with the kids in their rooms, Alec and Magnus were greeting each other properly. A couple of soft, tender kisses... Whispered words... Those smiles... (Oh, how little Alec smiled before Magnus came into his life.)

Maryse couldn’t believe that there was a time when she was against what she saw at the moment.

While Magnus headed to respond to Gabriel’s whimpers Alec was left watching his husband’s distancing back with a blissed-out expression on his face. He blushed upon noticing her. “I’m... Sorry, I... kind of...” He trailed off.

“... forgot that I exist?” Maryse’s eyes softened. “Don’t worry, I understand. I know what it’s like.” In full honesty she wasn’t sure if she was ever really, truly in love with Robert. Now that she was with Luke... She finally understood how good it could feel. Maryse also understood something else important and decided to address as much just as her son turned to join his family. “Alec? In case there’s ever a seed of doubt in your mind... You deserve this happiness.”

Alec appeared surprised but only for a second. “I know.” His certainty, his hard-fought belief that he deserved the good things life had brought him, almost moved her to tears. “So do you.”

It took them a while to get to where they were supposed to be and they resisted along the way, but now their hearts were home.

/

Adira loved her brother before he was even born. But when he came home, needing and getting so much attention... It made her angry and sad in a way she didn’t like. He was also so loud that it hurt her ears. Her parents warned her in beforehand but it still surprised her unpleasantly.

Over time the knowledge that she hadn’t been forgotten made home in her heart. Being invited to aid with looking after the baby helped her get to know him better, made him seem less like a threat. She also got used to him being loud sometimes. (Her papa explained to her that her brother cried so much because at times his stomach hurt and he wasn’t big enough to have words with which to let the pain out. Hearing that made Adira determined to make him laugh instead.) Gabriel became a part of her life and she remembered that she still loved him. (Most of the time.)

Then came the day of Gabriel Mathew Lightwood-Bane’s naming ceremony and Adira was excited because she loved parties as much as her papa did. And she got to wear her prettiest dress, the black one with red hearts reserved only for the most special occasions. Everyone attending to the party was happy and laughing, even her usually grumpy uncle Ragnor. She could tell from all the frowns and the wrinkled nose that Gabriel didn’t exactly like all the fuss but he wasn’t crying. In the middle of the festivities Adira allowed herself to feel like the little girl she was. After all the fear and worrying it was nice to celebrate without a care in the world.

As Gabriel’s godparents Catarina and Izzy gave their oaths to teach and guide him. After that came the part that was the most special to Adira. (Even more special than the cake cutting that’d come later, and that was saying a lot.) It was time for the special big sister oath her parents taught her.

Adira inhaled a deep breath when her daddy beckoned her closer with a smile. (Why did uncle Simon seem so shocked to see her daddy smile?) Uncharacteristically shy, she closed the small distance she’d had to her family and stood right beside Gabriel. Seeing him looking up at her, curious and serious, eased her nerves. “I’m your big sister Adira”, she introduced herself solemnly. (As if he hadn’t known that already but that was how the oath went and she wanted to do it right.) “I promise to love you, even on the days when I don’t like you a lot. When we fight I will make sure that we make up, I will forgive and apologize. And when I’m old enough I will protect you. Because you are my brother and you are important to me.” She kissed his forehead and grinned at his dramatic groan of protest. “Welcome to our family, Gabriel. I love you.”

Gabriel looked into her eyes, even more serious than before. Then grabbed her finger and held on tight. She curled her pinkie around his far smaller one, making a promise and sealing the oath. (She didn’t notice the tears her papa and most of the guests, Ragnor included, had to wipe away.)

/

Gabriel didn’t seem to be in any sort of a hurry to start talking. But the older he got the more curious he became of the world around him. He wanted to explore and growled out of frustrated anger whenever obstacles came his way. (Gabriel didn’t let those obstacles slow him down, of course, whether they were items or his own underdeveloped skills, because he was his parents’ son.)

From as soon as before his naming ceremony the baby gave several people near heart-attacks with his tendency to roll around. If he happened to be positioned somewhere high up when the mood to go on what his parents started calling patrols struck, he simply dropped himself down and used magic to not hurt himself. It might’ve been adorable if he wasn’t as fast and good at hiding himself as a proper Shadowhunter. Sometimes it took terrifyingly long to find him and he hissed from outrage if he felt like he was discovered too quickly. His parents dreaded what’d happen when he’d become even more mobile.

Impatient to start running and jumping like his daddy, Gabriel skipped crawling entirely. One early morning he saw a black leather coat his daddy wore for work quite often and decided that he wanted it. So, seeking support from a shelve and a wall, he pushed himself up. Two steps separated him from his target. His facial muscles tightening and his eyes getting the same look his daddy’s did when the man was at his most stubborn, the little boy took those steps. With what’d later be labeled his battle cry he grabbed the coat and took it down to the floor with him. The landing was rough but Gabriel didn’t care about discomfort. He pulled the coat on top of him and started purring happily.

From a small distance away his parents, who weren’t alerted by his cry but by how quiet he was before it, stared in disbelief. His movements slow from stun, Alec took his phone and snatched several pictures. “Jace is never going to believe this without evidence”, the man explained.

Magnus blinked once, twice. “Gabriel?” He took a calculated risk of encouraging bad behavior. “Are you ready to hunt demons?”

Gabriel’s purring intensified as he peeked from under the garment and if there was any doubt about it before, from that moment it became clear that he was a Shadowhunter to the core.

Since those cautious first steps at the grand age of eight and a half months Gabriel also showed that he was as protective as his daddy. He followed his papa and sister around everywhere whenever he could. And if he felt like either one of those two was in any sort of danger... Well, all hell broke loose.

People coming too close to admire him or Adira earned immediate fierce growls, coupled with a death glare he’d inherited from his daddy. And one day, close to when he’d be ten months old, his papa had to take him along to his office for a couple of hours. In that time the High Warlock of Rome, a handsome man with sensual dark eyes, came to visit and started blatant, unrequited flirting with his papa. Completely ignoring the fact that there was a child present.

Gabriel didn’t understand what he was seeing, of course. But he did notice how uncomfortable the exchange made his papa. So when the stranger reached out to touch his papa without a permission, the child hissed. Loud and vicious as an attacking snake, his golden eyes on full display as a threat. The offending hand dropped immediately and the man jumped back. Once the visitor had departed hurriedly his papa scolded him lightly for being rude. (Unpleasant as the man admittedly was.) But years later the fact that he managed to startle someone two hundred years old before he could even talk was his family’s inside joke (and something Gabriel was secretly very proud of).

As for Gabriel’s first word... It wasn’t anything children typically chose. One of his favorite tricks was hiding under the bed, watching as his daddy got ready for work and storing every move to memory. The man was extremely careful to make sure that neither of his kids got their hands on his weapons. But one morning shortly before his first birthday Gabriel stared at his daddy’s bow, which was well out of reach. True, he’d been told that the items his daddy used for work and some of the ingredients his papa used for potions were ‘not for touching’. (As thoroughly as it could be explained to someone so young.) But that morning the temptation was just too strong. So Gabriel crawled from under the bed and pulled at his daddy’s shirt’s hem.

The man smiled down at him and picked him up. (It was another one of Gabriel’s favorite things. Being picked up by someone as tall as his daddy made him feel like he was flying.) “Hey. What has you looking so thoughtful today?”

Without hesitating for a second Gabriel pointed towards a certain item. “Bow.” His voice was clear and firm, like he’d given a million commands in his brief life.

It was just a simple word. Gabriel didn’t understand why his parents and sister made such a big fuss about it. He didn’t mind the celebratory cake they had later that day, though. (To his immense disappointment he wasn’t allowed to hold the bow.)

/

Alec was sadly aware of the fact that he’d been cursed with two left feet. But he was too stubborn to just stop trying. Especially when he had a dancing partner like Magnus.

When Gabriel was a year and a half old Izzy chose to honor the special occasion by babysitting their dynamic duo with Simon so they could have a date weekend. Despite dreading how high on sugar Simon, who couldn’t say ‘no’ to anyone under the age of ten, would get their kids Alec said ‘yes’. Because he really, desperately wanted a damned date with his husband.

They had an amazing dinner at a restaurant the name of which Alec couldn’t pronounce. Then they found themselves slow dancing on the rooftop of a ridiculously expensive hotel. With stars and the moon as their light, a sea sparkling nearby and the intoxicating scent of flowers and his mate wrapping around him like a blanket. Magnus was by some miracle able to look even more beautiful than usually, wearing absolutely flawless makeup and the same clothes he did on their wedding day. Especially with complete, utter happiness all over his face and radiating through their bond.

Alec still couldn’t believe that something this beautiful and magical was his, that this was his life.

“Hey.” Alec gave Magnus’ lips a peck because he could and wanted to. “I love you.”

The skin around Magnus’ eyes crinkled with love and marvel. (Even if Alec simultaneously stepped on his toes for the fifth time.) “I love you, too. To Edom and back.”

Once upon a time even the word ‘Edom’ would’ve sent Alec’s mind reeling. Now... Now he laughed, the sound bubbling from him like a bird set free.

Their lives were far from perfect. What they’d been through... It’d scarred them permanently, inside and out. And they’d likely never stop facing obstacles attempting to tear them down and apart. Alec welcomed anyone and anything to try because he was never, ever going to let go. Not as long as there was a breath of life in him.

Magnus gasped softly when Alec dipped him adventurously. “Oh my. Has someone been practicing?”

“Not... exactly. I’m still miserable at this. But... I’m learning from the best.” Alec aimed for a seductive tone. “Dancing, among other things.”

The skin around Magnus’ eyes crinkled further and the omega’s hold on him tightened. “You’re not even nearly as miserable as you seem to imagine.” The man’s smile had something so vulnerable to it that Alec’s heart thudded. “I’m hundreds of years old and I’ve learned all the best things from you.”

What else was Alec supposed to do but claim Magnus, right there and then?

/

Gabriel was two years old when the Lightwood-Banes received a visitor Magnus hadn’t harbored hopes of seeing again. (At least under pleasant circumstances.) Magnus had suffered through a long day of taxing consultations and the kids were cranky because a soft-hearted grandpa Luke fed them with too much pizza, unable to say ‘no’. Starting up with a dinner for himself and Alec, he craved for a quiet evening. Until there was a knock on the door.

Magnus opened it and his eyes widened upon finding Sari. She appeared hesitant but not shy or hostile. “I’m sorry to be blunt, but...” He blinked once, twice. “What... are you doing here?”

Sari shrugged. “I was hoping that we could talk. It’s... been a while.” That was an understatement.

“Papa?” Adira inquired, appearing curious. (Beside her Gabriel, who’d become incredibly protective over him, seemed openly hostile.) “Who is she?”

Sari’s smile was small but honest. “I’m your aunt Sari, your papa’s sister. I’m glad to finally meet you.”

Magnus sent Alec a message to let his husband know who was visiting and that she came without ill intent. (He didn’t want to even guess how the alpha would’ve reacted to coming home and finding their guest without forewarning.) Soon Adira and Gabriel were distracted by a Disney movie while he and Sari talked on the couch.

“I’ve... been through a lot of therapy over the past couple of years”, Sari confessed. “And... Over time I’ve started to accept that unlike I imagined you’re not the villain of my story, Asmodeus was. It just...” She sighed heavily. “After literally hundreds of years of manipulation and misconception it’s going to take some time to really sink in.”

“Well.” Magnus offered her a small smile. “If there’s one thing we immortals have, it’s time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaw! Is it safe to say that happy ending, here we come? (smiles)
> 
> Sooooo... Was that worth the wait? Any good at all? PLEASE, do let me hear from you! Comments seriously make my days.
> 
> Until next time, folks! I can’t believe that this is coming to an end. (cries) I really hope that I’ll see you there.
> 
> Take care!


	21. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In a small epilogue the kids grow up, Alec gets an actual tattoo and Malec makes a decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AGH, it took me ages to get this small chapter out. (groans) BUT, here it is. The final piece of this story.
> 
> THANK YOU, so, so much, for your comments, love and support! You have no idea how you’ve helped carry this story all the way to the finish. (HUGS)
> 
> Awkay, then. Are you ready? Let’s see how this tale comes to an end.

Time passed by, as it inevitably does. For Alec and Magnus, who had two small children and demanding jobs, a couple of more years simply flew by. Before they knew it Gabriel was five, a small Shadowhunter in the making who was more like his daddy every day. And Adira was ready to start going to the school one of Magnus’ warlocks had dared to open. Opening such a place was finally safe with how the relations between Downworld and Shadowhunters had improved. There was no need to fear a new war, it was time to live to the fullest. To Magnus’ surprise and delight Sari, who’d visited New York more or less frequently since their first cautious reunion, revealed that she’d become one of the teachers. He couldn’t think of a better expert on demons.

Walking a child to school for the first time is an emotional event for any parent. The moment Adira’s hand left Alec and Magnus’ felt like something was ending, even if they knew logically that something was only just starting. They leaned on each other as their firstborn waved at them with a bright smile on her face that looked surreally lot like Magnus’.

Adira was so ready – they weren’t.

She was about to run towards the building when Gabriel, who insisted that he wanted to join them, stopped her. “Adi.” There was an adorably solemn look on the little boy’s face. He’d always appeared old beyond his years. “If someone bullies you, tell me. I will punch them for you.” He definitely sounded old beyond his years, too.

Adira smiled and hugged the younger child. (She and Magnus were the only ones allowed to hug him anymore. Because apparently he was a big boy, now.) “I know. Because you’re the best brother ever.”

Alec’s heart ached and soared simultaneously as he was reminded of himself and Izzy. He frowned upon hearing a barely audible sniffle and pulled Magnus closer while his husband wiped his eyes subtly. “Hey...”

Magnus’ sigh shuddered as the omega leaned his head against his shoulder. “They’re growing up, it’s a part of life. Sometimes... Sometimes I just want to freeze time.”

Alec understood because he felt the exact same way. But his heart was also full of gratitude. He came so very close to losing both his children before they were even born. He almost lost the love of his life and mate, too. After everything they’d been through growing pains were a blessing.

Alec was certain that Magnus shared his gratitude. But at that moment the man was also emotional and vulnerable, in need of a distraction. “You can freeze time?”

Magnus blinked away the last remnants of tears and smirked, swallowing the bait. “Oh, my darling Alexander... I’ll have you know that I’m demonic royalty.” Now what was that hand doing, caressing his behind...? “Your mother’s been asking for some quality time with Adira and Gabriel. Why don’t we let them spend the night with her and Luke? I’ll show you just how... magical I can be.”

/

Some of the scars Asmodeus left on Alec’s back never faded away. It took him years to decide what he wanted to do with them. Finally, as Adira’s first school semester was coming to a close, the alpha came up with the perfect thing.

It took a couple of visits to a small but surprisingly cozy parlour for the artwork to be complete. A couple of days after his final session with a tattoo artist Alec was ready to introduce the finished product.

Hints of moisture appeared to Magnus’ eyes. Gentle fingers caressed the tattoo. “Alexander...! It’s perfect.”

Alec rewarded the compliment with a peck on the smaller man’s cheek. Their joined hands tightened around each other. “I couldn’t think of a better symbol for our family.”

The tattoo was a phoenix, rising triumphantly from flames with its wings spread wide open.

/

Alec was incredibly busy as the Head of the Institute and Magnus’ days as the High Warlock of Brooklyn weren’t any less hectic. Finding quality time as a family was a challenge. Which was why the Lightwood-Banes came up with the idea of family dates.

Once a week the parents made absolutely certain to leave work early. (Unless there was a life-or-death situation going on, of course.) As soon as they made it home the adults switched off their phones. While they cooked the kids picked either a game or a movie for the four of them to enjoy. Some of those events were more chaotic than others.

That evening both children attempted to use magic to cheat at Monopoly. Which led to pieces of the game flying everywhere, tears and then hugs of apology. Followed by ice-cream as they watched ‘Toy Story’ for the tenth time.

Eventually too much excitement and sugar lulled the kids to sleep. Adira went first, sandwiched securely between her parents so that her head was leaning against Alec’s shoulder. Gabriel was more stubborn and kept hanging on for twenty minutes longer. In the end the boy nodded off curled up on Magnus’ lap like a kitten.

Magnus got so quiet that Alec wondered if his husband had fallen asleep as well. His eyebrow rose when he noticed that the warlock was very much awake, watched their little ones with an unreadable look on his face. Some restlessness but nothing strictly negative radiated from the man. “Penny for them”, Alec prompted and went on upon receiving a confused blink. “I wouldn’t need our bond to notice that you’re deep in thought.” He ran his hand through the other’s hair. “What’s going on in that beautiful, busy head of yours?”

Magnus wondered how to start for a mighty while, eyes on their children. “I just... The bigger these two get the more I find myself wondering whether Gabriel is our last one. And... I wouldn’t want him to be. So... I think I’ll stop taking heat suppressants. If you also want this, of course.” The warlock finally met his gaze. “I know that the previous pregnancies were... tumultuous time. They were both surprises, the best kind but still, and so many awful things that were beyond our control happened.” Far too many memories of those times would haunt them for the rest of their lives. “We’ve grown up so much, as people and as a couple. And the world... It’s different. Our children don’t have to fear the likes of Valentine and Asmodeus. They can learn both to use magic and Shadowhunter skills, they can be friends with whoever they please. They don’t have to look over their shoulders in fear.” There was a waver in Magnus’ voice as memories of vastly different eras assaulted him. “So... I think now would be a good time to try for a third baby. A planned one.” They exchanged grins before the omega shrugged and chewed his lip restlessly. “It may never work, Adira and Gabriel were miracles. But...”

“You want to give fate a chance.” The thought of another pregnancy scared Alec after everything they’d gone through. But the alpha inside him purred from joy. “I... think I want to give fate a chance, too.” He nuzzled Magnus’ neck with his nose to ease the man’s fears of not being able to conceive, then lay a hand against the other’s stomach. “I’d love having you gift me with another little miracle. But if it doesn’t happen, then that’s how things are meant to be. And if we ever cross paths with the right kid, we can consider adoption.” Alec shrugged. “We’ll take whatever fate gives us.”

Magnus looked at him with marvel. (Not for the first time Alec wondered just what the centuries old man saw in him to look at him in such a way.) “Whatever fate gives us”, the omega agreed.

They sealed the deal with a sweet kiss that tasted of hope and promises.

They survived the rocky start of their relationship. They survived Valentine. They survived Asmodeus. They survived the fire and pains of hell. Together they’d make it through anything fate might send their way, the good and the bad alike.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so this story closes. But so much hope, after so much suffering. (smiles) 
> 
> Soooo... What do you think, was that a worthy closure? PLEASE, do let me hear from you! Comments ALWAYS mean the world to me.
> 
> THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart, for sticking with me through this and the prequel! (HUGS) Whoever knows. Maybe I’ll see you again later?
> 
> Take care!

**Author's Note:**

> FIND ME ON TWITTER: @Sandylee0071


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